For as long as I can remember, I have always felt different. I can vividly remember my first experience as a teen with an older cousin. It was what I've been told a normal event that often occurs among boys in that age group
I however was affected greatly by that event. For the first time in my young life I was made aware that we are all not created equal. God he was huge..and I couldn't help but notice how tiny I was. Now I don't think I was aware that I was going to end up being the submissive effemiate sissy I am today, but shortly after that experience I became obsessed with wearing lingerie. It for the most part was my mothers beacuse my sisters were much younger. This obsession led to stealing panties from neighbors, searching through hampers while at friends homes etc. and over time I just loved being covered in all kinds of silky garments. Events in my life at the time caused various periods of abstinance from this fetish, but whenever the chance I would dress up in something cute and pleasure myself.
Like a lot of sissies who grapple with our macho side I married, fathered a child, and was pretty happy with life, but I could never resit the urge to slip into something of my wifes and prance around like a total pansy and ending in maturbation. Well one day to my horror I was caught by her in a pair of her panties, bra and slip. I had my lips covered in lipstick and felt totally embarrased by the events of that day. Over the next couple of day we tried to discuss what had happened and why I need to do it. I confessed to her that I had strong desires to be treated as her slave, and serve her every need. In short I need her to take control of me. I told her how I felt inadequate when it came to pleasing her sexually, and told her how much I would like to see her with a real man, and how I would like to participate in such a scene. Trust me my ex was no prude, but she could never come to grips with that idea.
Over time our sex life became nonexistent and I started to play away from the house, even spending time with a woman 20 years younger than myself. A feeble attempt to try and hold on to any sense of being a real man I guess. I always would go back to that time with my cousin. It still has never left my mind. Eventually the marriage ended on the best terms a marriage can end on. We are still great friends today, although I suspect that is because she has returned to her home state and is 2000 miles away.
Finally finding myself on my own, I was free to experiment more and more with my thoughts about being as girly as possible. It has been quite a journey, and for the most part today I am content with my life. I have a wonderful caring and most of all understanding mistress, and we have a wonderful life. I am in total service to her. and wouldn't have it any other way. She understands my cravings to be the way I am, and uses them to her advantage in a very loving way.
We have met a few couple in similar relationships, and get together from time to time, and I get to play with some of my sissy friends under the watchful eye of the love of my life. I love when she lets me enjoy these experiences, and she loves seeing me with the type of lover I can satisfy by expressing or sissy attributes.
Well I am going to stop for now, but I would like to keep you up to date on my life if there is any interest. Any suggestion, comments, or questions will be apprecialted.
We'll see you all soon.
hugs,
sissy_melissa

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