It sometimes is so hard leading this double life, putting up the pretence of what a few people deem to be normal. Fighting feelings that do not deserve to be fought because if I do not fight them, or at least subdue them, then I will be left open to the narrow minded fools.

But having Sissy Kiss makes life a lot easier and being part of the sissy community is so very important. The amount of times I have been with people and I have just wanted to stand up and shout 'I can't do this anymore, everyone I am a pansy and I would rather live as a little girl. I am not, never have been nor ever will be a man'.

I guess it's the freedom to dress that is hard. I would dress everyday if I could but I can't and I feel bad because I am complaining about something that in the whole scheme of things is really very low on the scale, but to me of-course it is important..... hard to get a balance.

But the desire to live as a little girl 24/7 is very very strong. I would be so happy as a little girl, as me. I would even be a crossdressing little girl who sometimes dresses as a boy, yeah! that could work lol.