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Again fulltime and a new name
Entry Category: Default Category
Entry Mood: (No Mood)
Published On: 10/06/2009 05:32 PM
Entry Mood: (No Mood)
Published On: 10/06/2009 05:32 PM
I cant stop this feeling (should I?) I want to live as a 9 year old girl, or rather I need to live as a 9 year old little girl. I try so hard to be an adult, but at times it is such a struggle. I'm a child inside a 'man', tainted by adulthood, crying to be innocent.
So many feelings overwhelm me when I am in my little girl cothes and I feel so natural, but I know the only person who can change things is me. I know too that I can never be a man as society portrays. Yes I look and act as one, years of conditioning have seen to that, but its an act, my body a shell. I was not blessed with feminine features, a shapely body and I guess that makes me feel more trapped. And as I am now, el drabo, I am just this average looking guy with a very tiny teenie weenie, who is scared of the real world.... but.... in my little girl clothes I am Samantha, a happy little 9 year old girl. Oh yes I now have a girls name!!! Let me introduce the real me.......... Samantha.
All types of words float round my head on a constant loop, each word satisfying yet frustrating. Sissy.... Pansy.... Pantywaist.... Girl.... Child.... Samantha!! I see life, my ideal beautiful life, a day to day joy of frills, lace, dollies and nothing more complicated than tying the bow on the back of my fave party dress.
Feelings suck lol x x x
So many feelings overwhelm me when I am in my little girl cothes and I feel so natural, but I know the only person who can change things is me. I know too that I can never be a man as society portrays. Yes I look and act as one, years of conditioning have seen to that, but its an act, my body a shell. I was not blessed with feminine features, a shapely body and I guess that makes me feel more trapped. And as I am now, el drabo, I am just this average looking guy with a very tiny teenie weenie, who is scared of the real world.... but.... in my little girl clothes I am Samantha, a happy little 9 year old girl. Oh yes I now have a girls name!!! Let me introduce the real me.......... Samantha.
All types of words float round my head on a constant loop, each word satisfying yet frustrating. Sissy.... Pansy.... Pantywaist.... Girl.... Child.... Samantha!! I see life, my ideal beautiful life, a day to day joy of frills, lace, dollies and nothing more complicated than tying the bow on the back of my fave party dress.
Feelings suck lol x x x
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Life is too short to let it pass you by. As soon as you can afford to, at least have your own "room" and spend a few days a week as yourself. You will find life is so much fullfilling this way.
*hugs*