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Published On: 10~06~2009 05:32 PM
I cant stop this feeling (should I?) I want to live as a 9 year old girl, or rather I need to live as a 9 year old little girl. I try so hard to be an adult, but at times it is such a struggle. I'm a child inside a 'man', tainted by adulthood, crying to be innocent.
So many feelings overwhelm me when I am in my little girl cothes and I feel so natural, but I know the only person who can change things is me. I know too that I can never be a man as society portrays. Yes I look and act as one, years of conditioning have seen to that, but its an act, my body a shell. I was not blessed with feminine features, a shapely body and I guess that makes me feel more trapped. And as I am now, el drabo, I am just this average looking guy with a very tiny teenie weenie, who is scared of the real world.... but.... in my little girl clothes I am Samantha, a happy little 9 year old girl. Oh yes I now have a girls name!!! Let me introduce the real me.......... Samantha.
All types of words float round my head on a constant loop, each word satisfying yet frustrating. Sissy.... Pansy.... Pantywaist.... Girl.... Child.... Samantha!! I see life, my ideal beautiful life, a day to day joy of frills, lace, dollies and nothing more complicated than tying the bow on the back of my fave party dress.
Feelings suck lol x x x
Entry Mood:
(Teary)Published On: 09~02~2009 11:08 AM
Life has the distict knack of stopping in front of you, turning round and kicking you in the............. well you know. In a matter of a few days I have gone from hope and excitement to fear, sadness and worry. A health scare for me, that turned out (I hope) to be nothing serious and finding out my dad has cancer has left me down.
I kinda felt I was on the verge of turning a corner, but now I feel I have taken two steps back. My health has not been too good, but I thought I was heading in the right direction, now I am not so sure.
I feel a bit lonely, at least in the 'real world', I need a big hug and a chance to cry. But I also feel sad for those people who have entered my life that seek love but have yet to find it... that makes me really sad.
However, through the inner tears that are flowing, I can see positives......
To all my friends, I love you x x
Published On: 08~27~2009 01:33 PM
I am not sure why, but I have this thing about being in wet, full and stinky nappies. It's strange really, because I am not a baby and in my little girl persona I can be a little bit prissy, but once I am in nappies I just don't want to be out of them, no matter how full and stinky they get. I don't tend to poop, just go pee pee but they feel so right to wear, so natural and they offer me such comfort and protection (and I don't just mean in the pratical sence). Infact I would go as far to say I could quite happily stay in nappies all the time.
I remember growing up (strange term for an adult little girl like me lol) putting towls round myself to imitate a nappy and the thrill I had the first time I wore a real nappy and wet it. And now I am like this child who doesnt want her nappy changed, no way mummy, no way!! I really have to be strong to change myself.
So here I sit in my stinky nappies, happy and safe knowing that I will just have to change before I leak!!!
Published On: 07~15~2009 07:18 PM
I have been drifting more and more to the LG (adult little girl) lifestyle, it's something I feel I belong to and want to be a part of. I think it is fair to say that those who know me, understand my desire to live as a little girl fulltime and the LG lifestyle helps with that need. For me it's the utter innocence of being a little girl, without all the adult clatter and the need to be who I really am inside and that is a nine year old little girl.
Published On: 03~01~2009 01:14 PM
I have been thinking about starting a couple of clubs, following on from some threads I have started that are close to my heart. The first is the 'fulltime club' which is aimed at sissies who want/need to be little girls fulltime. Mainly aimed at sissies who are little girls around the age of 5-11, but also to include baby girls and toddlers too.
After staring the thread about my desire to live 24/7 as a nine year old girl, I was heartned by the response. It seems there are a number of sissies who want to live fulltime as little girls and find it difficult, as I do, to be an 'adult male'.
The other club I am thinking of starting is the 'teenie weenie' club. Having a very tiny pee pee is fundamental to who I am, it defines me in many ways and I want to share views etc with other sissies who have tiny pee pees. I have never been humiliated or have ever felt inadequate by being small down below, but that is because I am a sissy and the last thing I want is something so masculine dangling between my legs.
I don't have sex, it has never felt natural to me, so having a little shriveled nugget is more a blessing than a curse, something I can tuck away in my nappy and forget about. I love to hear from other sissies about their teenie weenies and what it means to them to be 'small' down below.
x x x
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