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Blog Tag Cloud Popular Topics of my Blog | Recent Blog Entries Entry Title: Again fulltime and a new name Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 10/06/2009 05:32 PM I cant stop this feeling (should I?) I want to live as a 9 year old girl, or rather I need to live as a 9 year old little girl. I try so hard to be an adult, but at times it is such a struggle. I'm a child inside a 'man', tainted by adulthood, crying to be innocent. So many feelings overwhelm me when I am in my little girl cothes and I feel so natural, but I know the only person who can change things is me. I know too that I can never be a man as society portrays. Yes I look and act as one, years of conditioning have seen to that, but its an act, my body a shell. I was not blessed with feminine features, a shapely body and I guess that makes me feel more trapped. And as I am now, el drabo, I am just this average looking guy with a very tiny teenie weenie, who is scared of the real world.... but.... in my little girl clothes I am Samantha, a happy little 9 year old girl. Oh yes I now have a girls name!!! Let me introduce the real me.......... Samantha. All types of words float round my head on a constant loop, each word satisfying yet frustrating. Sissy.... Pansy.... Pantywaist.... Girl.... Child.... Samantha!! I see life, my ideal beautiful life, a day to day joy of frills, lace, dollies and nothing more complicated than tying the bow on the back of my fave party dress. Feelings suck lol x x x Entry Tags: This blog has no tags. Entry Title: So quick the tide changes Entry Category: Default Category Entry Mood:  (Teary)Published On: 09/02/2009 11:08 AM Life has the distict knack of stopping in front of you, turning round and kicking you in the............. well you know. In a matter of a few days I have gone from hope and excitement to fear, sadness and worry. A health scare for me, that turned out (I hope) to be nothing serious and finding out my dad has cancer has left me down. I kinda felt I was on the verge of turning a corner, but now I feel I have taken two steps back. My health has not been too good, but I thought I was heading in the right direction, now I am not so sure. I feel a bit lonely, at least in the 'real world', I need a big hug and a chance to cry. But I also feel sad for those people who have entered my life that seek love but have yet to find it... that makes me really sad. However, through the inner tears that are flowing, I can see positives...... To all my friends, I love you x x Entry Tags: This blog has no tags. Entry Title: Stinky nappies Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 08/27/2009 01:33 PM I am not sure why, but I have this thing about being in wet, full and stinky nappies. It's strange really, because I am not a baby and in my little girl persona I can be a little bit prissy, but once I am in nappies I just don't want to be out of them, no matter how full and stinky they get. I don't tend to poop, just go pee pee but they feel so right to wear, so natural and they offer me such comfort and protection (and I don't just mean in the pratical sence). Infact I would go as far to say I could quite happily stay in nappies all the time. Entry Tags: This blog has no tags. Entry Title: I am a little girl Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 07/15/2009 07:18 PM I have been drifting more and more to the LG (adult little girl) lifestyle, it's something I feel I belong to and want to be a part of. I think it is fair to say that those who know me, understand my desire to live as a little girl fulltime and the LG lifestyle helps with that need. For me it's the utter innocence of being a little girl, without all the adult clatter and the need to be who I really am inside and that is a nine year old little girl. Entry Tags: This blog has no tags. Entry Title: Clubs Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 03/01/2009 01:14 PM I have been thinking about starting a couple of clubs, following on from some threads I have started that are close to my heart. The first is the 'fulltime club' which is aimed at sissies who want/need to be little girls fulltime. Mainly aimed at sissies who are little girls around the age of 5-11, but also to include baby girls and toddlers too. After staring the thread about my desire to live 24/7 as a nine year old girl, I was heartned by the response. It seems there are a number of sissies who want to live fulltime as little girls and find it difficult, as I do, to be an 'adult male'. The other club I am thinking of starting is the 'teenie weenie' club. Having a very tiny pee pee is fundamental to who I am, it defines me in many ways and I want to share views etc with other sissies who have tiny pee pees. I have never been humiliated or have ever felt inadequate by being small down below, but that is because I am a sissy and the last thing I want is something so masculine dangling between my legs. I don't have sex, it has never felt natural to me, so having a little shriveled nugget is more a blessing than a curse, something I can tuck away in my nappy and forget about. I love to hear from other sissies about their teenie weenies and what it means to them to be 'small' down below. x x x
Entry Title: Mirror mirror Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 02/14/2009 04:53 PM There is something that seems to dwell deep in the heart of most sissies, a battle between what is true and what is 'normal', a battle that is fought daily and is sometimes won and sometimes lost. I have witnessed the very pain some sissies go through as they wrestle with feelings both natural and alien and it makes me sad. Being a sissy is an amazing gift yet at times can feel like a horrible curse. For those of us that cannot find a balance between our sissy self and our 'male' existence there is a yearning to be more feminine, yet a knowledge, an unwritten rule, that makes us stop and try to conform to the worlds view of what a man must be. For those who are transgendered a different set of problems arise, but for those sissies who are not, two separate beings emerge and fight for dominance. The blur between reality and fantasy is just that - a blur, where each one crosses over into the other, like two colliding worlds in different dimensions. But sooner or later we decide a path, a path that we hope will bring happiness, bring salvation, however hard, however life changing that may be. We cannot escape our true selves, cannot hide, only surrender. We are what we are. I am a pansy, a child, a little girl trapped in a world that feels a hundred times bigger, that has a million eyes looking at me, silently saying 'we know, we know'. I want to escape, I want to be me. I dream when I am asleep, I dream when I am awake, that I will one day live as a little girl, everyday, 24/7 and that I can break free the shackles of adulthood that torment me so. I am not transgenderd, I don't want to change sex, live as a woman, but I need to be a little girl, for that is what I am inside. I am an innocent child, slowly being corrupted by an a adult existence, forever tainted by a society ready to reject me for not conforming. And for those who know the image of the man that stands before them I say this - look into my eyes, look deep into my eyes and you will see the truth, you will see a frightened 9 year old little girl who just wants to be loved. Mirror mirror on the wall Entry Tags: This blog has no tags. Entry Title: The sissy community Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 12/21/2008 12:04 PM It sometimes is so hard leading this double life, putting up the pretence of what a few people deem to be normal. Fighting feelings that do not deserve to be fought because if I do not fight them, or at least subdue them, then I will be left open to the narrow minded fools. But having Sissy Kiss makes life a lot easier and being part of the sissy community is so very important. The amount of times I have been with people and I have just wanted to stand up and shout 'I can't do this anymore, everyone I am a pansy and I would rather live as a little girl. I am not, never have been nor ever will be a man'. I guess it's the freedom to dress that is hard. I would dress everyday if I could but I can't and I feel bad because I am complaining about something that in the whole scheme of things is really very low on the scale, but to me of-course it is important..... hard to get a balance. But the desire to live as a little girl 24/7 is very very strong. I would be so happy as a little girl, as me. I would even be a crossdressing little girl who sometimes dresses as a boy, yeah! that could work lol. Entry Tags: This blog has no tags. Entry Title: The sissy community Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 12/21/2008 12:02 PM It sometimes is so hard leading this double life, putting up the pretence of what a few people deem to be normal. Fighting feelings that do not deserve to be fought because if I do not fight them, or at least subdue them, then I will be left open to the narrow minded fools. But having Sissy Kiss makes life a lot easier and being part of the sissy community is so very important. The amount of times I have been with people and I have just wanted to stand up and shout 'I can't do this anymore, everyone I am a pansy and I would rather live as a little girl. I am not, never have been nor ever will be a man'. I guess it's the freedom to dress that is hard. I would dress everyday if I could but I can't and I feel bad because I am complaining about something that in the whole scheme of things is really very low on the scale, but to me of-course it is important..... hard to get a balance. But the desire to live as a little girl 24/7 is very very strong. I would be so happy as a little girl, as me. I would even be a crossdressing little girl who sometimes dresses as a boy, yeah! that could work lol. Entry Tags: This blog has no tags. Entry Title: The sissy community Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 12/21/2008 12:01 PM It sometimes is so hard leading this double life, putting up the pretence of what a few people deem to be normal. Fighting feelings that do not deserve to be fought because if I do not fight them, or at least subdue them, then I will be left open to the narrow minded fools. But having Sissy Kiss makes life a lot easier and being part of the sissy community is so very important. The amount of times I have been with people and I have just wanted to stand up and shout 'I can't do this anymore, everyone I am a pansy and I would rather live as a little girl. I am not, never have been nor ever will be a man'. I guess it's the freedom to dress that is hard. I would dress everyday if I could but I can't and I feel bad because I am complaining about something that in the whole scheme of things is really very low on the scale, but to me of-course it is important..... hard to get a balance. But the desire to live as a little girl 24/7 is very very strong. I would be so happy as a little girl, as me. I would even be a crossdressing little girl who sometimes dresses as a boy, yeah! that could work lol. Entry Title: The sissy community Entry Category: Default Category Published On: 12/21/2008 11:59 AM It sometimes is so hard leading this double life, putting up the pretence of what a few people deem to be normal. Fighting feelings that do not deserve to be fought because if I do not fight them, or at least subdue them, then I will be left open to the narrow minded fools. But having Sissy Kiss makes life a lot easier and being part of the sissy community is so very important. The amount of times I have been with people and I have just wanted to stand up and shout 'I can't do this anymore, everyone I am a pansy and I would rather live as a little girl. I am not, never have been nor ever will be a man'. I guess it's the freedom to dress that is hard. I would dress everyday if I could but I can't and I feel bad because I am complaining about something that in the whole scheme of things is really very low on the scale, but to me of-course it is important..... hard to get a balance. But the desire to live as a little girl 24/7 is very very strong. I would be so happy as a little girl, as me. I would even be a crossdressing little girl who sometimes dresses as a boy, yeah! that could work lol.
Entry Tags: This blog has no tags. | Recent Blog Comments 10/06/2009 07:18 PM It took a lot happening to me in my life to finally accept the fact that I was a 12 year old girl myself. You will be happiest living your life as who you are, but you might face some great hardships as well. At least in the end you will know you were not only true to yourself, but you will have learned so much more about yourself than if you had kept it all bottled up. Life is too short to let it pass you by. As soon as you can afford to, at least have your own "room" and spend a few days a week as yourself. You will find life is so much fullfilling this way. *hugs* From Entry: Again fulltime and a new name 08/02/2009 03:00 PM This all strikes me as something which is more than a lifestyle for you. You might be someone like me who really is a child and that isn't a lifestyle, that is a life. Lifestyles you can choose, your need to be your true 9 year old self seems like a need, not a want. A lifestyle is like "I am into boating" not "I am 9 years old". I hope that you can live out your life in happiness and that what you want will become reality made whole. From Entry: I am a little girl 03/18/2009 03:49 PM I would definitely join your "fulltime club," because although I'm a baby girl, I do feel as if my baby girl self is present all the time! From Entry: Clubs 02/16/2009 02:07 PM I'l never break your heart... or let you fall... You know I'm always here for you..
Lots of love and hugs Mummy Sophie xxx From Entry: Mirror mirror 01/24/2009 11:02 PM I can relate to the feeling littlegirl, I at times would like to tell my dad about me, that I'm not a full fledged man and it's one of the reasons I polish my toenails from time to time. From Entry: The sissy community 09/19/2008 04:57 AM Good luck with everything, dear. It sounds like you are taking many a courageous step, but you are truly discovering yourself as well, and I only hope one day I can be brave enough to do the same. ***Hugs*** From Entry: The road ahead 05/29/2008 05:50 PM Dear Sissy Daryl Thank you for the lovely welcome to sissykiss... You are just as sweet as Ruthie... Love as always Mummy Sophie xxx  From Entry: Ruthie Blogroll This user has not added any blog links to his blog roll |
