football - kickboxing - lacrosse - ninjutsu - rock climbing - starcraft - wow -

So i've been trying to figure out just wtf is going on with me lately.

I think I understand my predicament, I believe that since my mother , a very domenant women and somewhat of alcoholic, raise me alone I
began to look up to her. However due to her neglect I began to rly on my sister(I was very meak and weak during my childhood) and tv. So I naturally looked up to my sister and wanted to be like her but at the same time television was pounding this image of what men should be. So I believe in spirit I want to be a girl but deep down I don't.

I believe thats why I got hot thinking bout wearing my sisters painting but felt nothing when I wore em, this make any sense lol

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