Well, here is my third entry. I don't know of anyone is reading this stuff or not, but I guess I'll keep writing.

I saw on tamie's profile that she had her first entry telling a story about how she first began to desire being girlie, and that seems like something worth telling.

For me, I can't say if I remember anything like tamie's story. Things before about age ten are fairly blurry in my memory. But I remember something from about age ten, that was probably my first experience with girly things.

When I was born, and until about age 8 or so, we (my family) had lived in a big, old house that was actually a log house, although the outside was covered in wooden siding, so it didn't look like a log house. When I was younger, we shared it with my great aunt, until she passed on. At around age 8 my dad began building a new house for us, a normal 3 bedroom ranch home. (Mom wanted to stop climbing stairs)

For some time, there was stuff left on the attic of the old house, that either was now considered garbage, or that we had not yet had time to move. Sometimes I would climb up into the attic, partly because it was sort of scary, and partly because I liked to be alone from time to time. And once, while I was up there, nebbing around in boxes, I found some stockings. They probably belonged to my great aunt, as they were support stockings, and only knee high. I don't know why, but I had the overwhelming urge to put them on. And I did.

Ever since that time, I've loved the feeling of stockings, or better yet, pantyhose on my legs. The smooth, sheer fabric feels so good. And the feminine feelings that come with them are even more wonderful. Something about the feeling of looking girly, being feminine, is something I just love to feel.

Well, I played in the attic often for a couple of years, until my teens when other things took my interest (for a while).

Now, where I live is a fairly rural area, and just about a mile from my home there is a back road where people often park to make out, and drink and stuff. This road is also something of an impromtu dump. People drive down it and toss stuff into the woods. One day when I was about 17 I was out taking a walk. I happened to walk down that road, and as I walked along I saw a garbage bag lying in the woods. I wouldn't have payed any attention but the bag was torn, and I could see inside all kinds of girl's clothing. I examined it closer and found alot of somewhat worn swinsuits, pantyhose with runs, even a black lace bra. I took some of the stuff I liked and later, washed it when nobody was home. I started wearing these things when I could, and became very addicted to dressing up in girly clothes.

After I moved out of my parent's house, I started dressing more and more often. I tried my best to learn to look as female as I could, without any help from anyone. I guess I have learned some things, and maybe still lack other skills (I am terrible with makeup, never get the right shades, and don't apply it well, always look too much like a prostitute...) I dated a girl for a while that helped me learn a few more things. But she didn't really teach me much about makeup.

I've made a couple trips out of my home state to meet other T girls, people I'd met online who said they wanted a relationship with me, and these things haven't really worked out well. The best one lasted a little over a year, but I think we really were not right for each other all along.

I'd love to meet another sweet girl, or T girl, or maybe a man, although I'm not as attracted to guys, who could make me their little sissy slave. I'd love to be able to please someone, and have them treat me like the little girlie I am. But as time goes by, I become more and more sure its not going to happen. The girls all seem to either have somebody already, or don't want the kind of things I want. The T girls are too involved with their own transistions to take care of me. And the men just want sex...

But I'm here on SissyKiss now, and maybe there are more people here who are closer to what I'm looking for, so I'll give this place a try too. Maybe someday my luck will be better.

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