Nocturnal Emotions (Completed 8/24/11)
Nocturnal Emotions (Completed 8/24/11)
By: Dementia’s Knight
I don’t sleep.
Well, that isn’t entirely accurate. I do sleep, it’s just that the times I do sleep aren’t very long and in some cases are days apart. Why should this be of any concern to you? You know, I don’t really know the answer to that question. What I do know is that my therapist thinks I should share things, experiences and whatnot, and that’s what I’m going to do. If you want to listen, then that’s all the better.
My name is Samuel James Roosevelt. I’m twenty-six years old; I live in a shitty apartment in a shittier neighborhood that’s smack dab in the middle of an armpit of a town in Southern California. I’m the store manager of an office supply store, and I regularly get the urge to bash my own skull in with a three hole punch whenever one of my teenage underlings decides to utter something with more than two syllables to me. Contrary to what you may be thinking after reading that last sentence, I am in no way a violent person, to myself or others. It just seems to me that the public school system has gone severely downhill since I was in attendance there, but I digress.
Where was I? Oh, as a store manager, my position affords me a lot of “downtime”. That is to say I have extended periods of time where I don’t really do a whole hell of a lot besides sit in my office and make impressively long chains of paperclips or replay levels of Angry Birds on my phone. On the occasion that I do have to fulfill a managerial duty, I put on the old razzle dazzle and bullshit my way through it.
This cycle is not satisfying to me anymore. I started out a very ambitious and eager employee, desperate to shake off the shackles of youth and the fresh memories of graduating high school and prove myself to be a proud and reliable member of the workforce. I got promoted to Department Supervisor after only eight months; I made Assistant Manager three years after that, and I was put in charge of my own store three years after that. Perhaps it was the rocketing up the corporate ladder that put me into this apathetic funk, or maybe it’s just an inevitability that the constant exposure to fluorescent will eventually crush the human spirit. Whatever the cause, I know the cure; it’s just a matter of summoning the courage to go through with it.
A perfect opportunity finally presented itself when my boss dropped in for one of his monthly visits. I walked the store with him lost in my own thoughts, completely ignoring everything he was saying to me. I was trying to come up with some kind of point in the discussion where I could interject my departing words, when I heard the perfect set up.
“So, where do you see yourself in the next five years?” my boss asked.
I felt a smile creep across my lips, no matter how hard I fought against it. I looked him straight in the eyes and unloaded the two little words that had been haranguing for the last two weeks. “I quit.” I said, my voice strong and confident.
My boss’s smile faded. “Excuse me?” he asked in disbelief.
My smile grew. “I said, ‘I quit’.” I repeated as I removed my key ring from my belt loop and dropped them into his hands. “Just mail me my last check.” I said as I turned and walked away.
I didn’t look back as I walked to the exit, even though my boss was shouting after me. I made it through the doors and into the parking lot, my smile still plastered across my face. As I opened my car and got in, I felt like for the first time in a long while that everything was going to be alright.
Despite the alleviation of the burden of being in a hated job, my life didn’t improve. I continued to not be able to sleep, opting instead to lie on my couch and watch infomercials for products I knew I’d never buy, but felt compelled to devote my time to anyway. I found myself staring at my computer screen for no real reason, watching videos of animals being cute or idiots injuring themselves without even cracking a smile. I began to wonder if this was how my life would end, if the police would find me propped up on the couch, my mummified body bathed in the glow of a video of a cat playing peek-a-boo as it continued its infinite loop.
It was the fear of that fate that drove me to get dressed and leave my house for the first time in days. I soon discovered after driving around aimlessly for over an hour that three in the morning doesn’t exactly hold the bounty of activities that daytime does. It was after this realization that I found myself pulling into the neon illuminated parking lot of my local twenty-four hour Super Target.
And that’s how this story begins.
II. Chance Encounter
Wandering a humongous store in the middle of the night is actually pretty soothing. I’m not sure why that is, what I do know is that once I entered the store I instantly felt more relaxed. The floor held my attention as I meandered through the store, somehow managing to avoid running into the workers that were stocking the shelves.
By the time I looked up from the floor I found myself deep in the forest that was the toy department. The bright colors and smiling characters were a far cry from the brown subdued linoleum I’d been entranced by for the last hour or so, the stark contrast served to break me from my calm and push me back to despondence. I decided to pack things up and head back home, worried that somehow I was missing something better there.
As I neared the end of the aisle I heard the tinny music of a child’s toy and a feminine giggle on the aisle next to me. The sound gave me pause. I halted my progress, I don’t know why. Maybe it was the fact that the entire time I’d been in the store the only people I’d seen were those that worked there, or maybe it was just that I was looking for something to take my mind off of not sleeping. Whatever the reason was, I turned around and peeked around the end of the aisle.
If you’ve ever gone without sleep for any extended period of time, you know that sometimes reality blurs a bit and you may see or hear something that you aren’t entirely sure is real. The key to finding out if what you’re experiencing is real or not is as simple as asking yourself if you would imagine what you’re seeing. I had to do this when I looked around the end of the aisle and saw the young woman sitting Indian style on the floor playing with a brightly colored plastic toy.
From what I could see given my vantage point, the woman was wearing pink corduroy overalls and white tennis shoes. Her back was to me, but I could see that her black hair was secured into pigtails by fuzzy pink bands. I watched her for a moment and then pulled back behind the end of the aisle. I struggled to wrap my mind around what I’d just seen, maybe I’d just spotted some escaped mental patient and should be calling the police instead of standing in the middle of the store dumbfounded.
I turned around and headed back up the aisle I’d come down, deciding that I’d see what the woman’s face looked like in case I needed to describe her. I came to the end of the aisle and craned my neck around the corner and saw her still sitting there playing. I was taken aback by her beauty, and found myself entranced by the sight of her.
She was looking down at the toy in her hands, a wide smile on her face. Her skin was the most beautiful caramel color, her features were delicate and almost doll like. Her face looked like that of an angel. From what I could tell, she seemed to be Indian in her ethnicity, but I couldn’t be entirely sure. She giggled again after the toy in her hands made another noise and began to shake, and I found the sound to be one of the sweetest things I’d ever heard, it was a mix of femininity and juvenile happiness that combined in a way that was astoundingly pleasant.
I pulled myself back once again and attempted to process what I’d seen. When I heard movement from her aisle I hurried to the aisle I’d come down and pretended to look at a box of Lego’s. I strained my vision to the corners of my eyes to see if I could spot the woman in my peripheral vision, afraid that she would be standing there waiting to berate me for staring at her. I finally set the box down and looked out to the main aisle of the store to see her walk past, obviously unaware that I’d been watching her. I breathed a sigh of relief and decided that I needed to go home and digest the whole event I’d witnessed.
“Hi.” A small voice said behind me as I turned to leave.
I think I may have jumped, I can’t really be sure, but my mind felt like I’d just heard a shotgun blast not a foot away. I spun quickly to see my aisle neighbor standing there with her hands behind her back. With her now standing in front of me I could see that she was just a slip of a thing, no more than five and a half feet tall and skinny as a rail.
I stared at her dumbly for a moment, my mind not working at its usual speed given my sleep deprivation. I finally managed to produce a simple ‘Hi’ and some sort of smile.
She giggled her giggle again and covered her mouth like she’d just heard a hilarious secret. Then she looked at me, her beautiful brown eyes shimmering under the lights of the store, “Whatchya doin’ over here?” she asked, her voice carrying the same mix of child and adult that her giggle did.
I wracked my brain to try and come up with some sort of clever lie. “I was looking for a present for my nephew.” I said, proud that my mind had finally chugged to life and given me what I needed.
“How old is he?” she asked.
“Eight.” I lied. I was beginning to wonder if this girl could see through my lies and was just toying with me until she finally called me on it.
She nodded. “Lego’s are a good toy then.” She said finally after some internal deliberation.
“What?” I asked, forgetting entirely that I had been pretending to look at the box of Lego’s before I’d been caught.
She walked over to the shelf behind me and pulled the box I’d been holding off of it and handed it to me. “He’ll like this.” She explained with a smile.
My nose was filled with a soft and sweet smell as she got closer to me, it was a scent I knew I’d smelled before, but couldn’t place it at the moment. “Thanks.” I said with a smile as I watched her step back to her prior position. “Umm, my name is Sam.” I fumbled.
She smiled and nodded. “Nice to meet you Sam, I have to go now.” She said before hurrying off.
As soon as she was gone I breathed a sigh of relief and put the box of Lego’s back on the shelf, I turned to leave and suddenly realized that I hadn’t gotten her name. I shot to the end of the aisle and looked around for her, but saw only the random worker. “****.” I muttered as I made my way dejectedly to the exit.
I see a therapist. I don’t see her for any specific reason, mainly just to have someone to talk to and act as a sounding board for ideas that I have or feelings that arise. So, it seemed very appropriate that after the event at Target I see my therapist and get her take on things. I had managed to get a few hours of sleep the day before, so I felt that I could properly articulate myself as I shared my tale with her.
“…and by the time I realized I hadn’t gotten her name, she was gone.” I said, concluding my tale.
Madeline lowered her notepad. “So you were attracted to this girl and you regret not finding out more about her?” she asked.
I nodded. “I have no idea how long I was watching her, but it somehow didn’t seem long enough. Like I could have spent all day just staring at her, and it wouldn’t have been enough.” I explained.
“And you said that she was dressed like a little girl? How did that make you feel?” She asked.
I shrugged. “I mean at first it was a little weird, but she looked really cute. Also, she was obviously over eighteen, so I don’t really think it’s a big deal.” I explained.
“Let’s switch gears a bit and talk about work.” She said.
I grimaced. “I quit.” I told her.
Madeline looked surprised. “When was that?” she asked.
I thought for a moment, calculating in my head how long it had been. “About two weeks ago.” I answered finally.
“And how has it been being unemployed?” she asked.
“Well, I got my last check the other day, it had my vacation and sick time on it too, and that killed some bills. I cashed out my stock and 401k, and once I get that money I should be fine for a while.” I explained.
Madeline jotted something down on her notepad. “So you don’t plan on getting another job?” she asked.
I shook my head. “For the foreseeable future I’m just going to relax.” I said. “Maybe I’ll try and run into that girl again and get her name.” I added.
“You plan to stalk this girl?” she asked, half joking.
“Stalk is such an ugly word. I prefer to think of it as pursuing.” I clarified.
“Well, keep it legal and hopefully you’ll have more news when I see you next.” She said with a smile.
By the time I got home I had come up with several scenarios in my mind with how I would act if I saw the girl from Target again, none of them were overly good, but I’d make one of them work. The rest of the day passed by, and at three in the morning I got dressed and headed back to Target.
Like a kid I made a beeline to the toy department and began going aisle by aisle checking for the girl. I reached the last aisle and felt my hopes dash away when I found it empty like all the others. With a sigh I turned to leave when I looked up and spied her at the other end of the store walking toward the toy department. I struggled to think of what I should do, should I stay where I was and try to pretend like I was surprised to see her? Should I run and hide until she settled somewhere and then go talk to her? With time running out I hurriedly ducked down an aisle and waited.
I watched from my hiding spot as she walked down the main aisle of the store and turn to head down the same toy aisle I’d seen her on the other day. Today she wore a purple variation of the pink number I’d seen her in, and she looked just as sweet and beautiful. She eventually took a seat near the middle of the aisle and started playing with another toy, I watched for a moment and started to feel anxious about going over to her. I played out the scene in my head over and over again and felt my confidence begin to fade. I stayed hidden and watched her play for a few minutes and then turned and headed home.
“I saw her again the other night,” I started to explain to Madeline. “I watched her go to the same aisle and start playing, but I couldn’t approach her.” I said.
“Why do you think that is?” she asked.
I shook my head as I tried to come up with an answer. “I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t want her to think I was some creep that was following her or something. Or, maybe she seemed to be doing her thing and I didn’t want to interrupt her.” I offered. “Whatever the reason, I don’t think I’ll be going back there again.” I said with a sigh.
“Sam, how did you feel when you quit your job?” she asked.
I smiled. “I felt pretty great.” I said.
Madeline nodded. “And why did you feel great?” she asked.
“Because that place was awful, it was sucking my will to live and leaving it made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my chest.” I explained.
“So, it felt great to do something for yourself that positively impacted your life. Maybe talking to this girl is another chance to do just that. Perhaps getting to know a new person that you find attractive is just what you need, or maybe it’s just what you’re missing.” She offered. “In any event, I think that what you should do is go to that store, have a seat on that aisle, and meet her on her turf.” She added.
I thought for a moment about it. “So, I should sit there and play with her to get her to feel comfortable enough to talk to me?” I asked.
Madeline nodded. “This girl seems to have some sort of regressed personality, at least that’s what it sounds like based on your descriptions. She may never feel comfortable talking to you intimately if she sees you as an “adult”, but if you meet her at her level, she may open up to you.” She explained. “She may not, but at least you tried.” She added with a smile.
“Alright, I’ll try your way.” I said. “But, if she freaks out and runs away on me, I want my money back for this session.” I added with a smirk.
IV. Baby Steps
Linoleum is hard. I mean, it has to be hard because it’s a floor, but it’s very uncomfortable to sit on. Honestly, next time you’re out at a store have a seat on the floor for a few minutes and tell me that your ass isn’t screaming at you for a softer surface.
I sat on her aisle and fiddled with a toy while I waited for her. I was so anxious that I left the house a full hour earlier than the other times, so I got to sit for even longer on the unforgiving floor while I waited. The funny part is that I noticed how small I felt sitting there. Looking up at the shelves as they towered above me was like looking up at a skyscraper.
I struggled to understand what she could possibly find entertaining about the toys she played with. I pushed buttons and lights would flash and music and sounds would play, but it was all very boring to me, I started to wonder if that was a sign that even if she stayed to talk we would have anything in common. Maybe she was so stunted in her emotional development that adult conversation was off the table entirely. I thought these things and began to doubt that this scheme would work.
“Hi.” A familiar little voice greeted behind me.
I turned to look behind me and saw her standing at the end of the aisle with her hands behind her back again, as if she were hiding some kind of present behind her back and she didn’t want the surprise to be ruined.
“Hi.” I said, my voice as full of surprise as it was happiness.
She didn’t move from her spot, she just stood there watching me. I felt like she was sizing me up, trying to determine if I was a threat to her or not. She gave no indication that she would be coming over to sit with me, and I began to get worried that she’d run away like a spooked deer again.
“Do you want to sit down and, umm, play with me?” I asked, struggling to come up with an acceptable way to offer her to come over.
She stood there for a second, clearly trying to decide whether or not I was a danger to her, and then she began to walk over to me slowly, each step very calculated and methodical. When she got as close as she wanted to she took a seat and shifted herself so she was comfortable and then she reached for a toy to play with. “You like to play?” she asked without taking her eyes off the toy in her hand.
I hesitated. “Not really, but I thought maybe if I was playing you might talk to me some more.” I answered, hoping that honesty wouldn’t bite me in the ass.
She continued to play with her toy, focusing intently on it as if it were the one reaching out to her. “Oh.” She said. “What do you wanna talk about.” She asked after a moment.
I struggled to keep from squealing with joy. “What’s your name?” I asked.
“Skye.” She said simply, turning the toy in her hands over and pressing the buttons on the other side.
I smiled and picked up my own toy. “That’s a pretty name.” I told her. I stole periodic glances at her while we both interacted with our toys. Her overalls today were a soft blue, and the fuzzy rings securing her pigtails matched. On the bib of her overalls was an iron on patch of Winnie the Pooh dangling from a bunch of red balloons.
“Thank you.” She said, a small smile creeping across her lips causing sweet little dimples that I hadn’t noticed before to form.
“You’re very welcome. I like your outfit, it’s very cute.” I told her.
She blushed slightly at the mention of her outfit. She looked down at what she was wearing as if she needed to refresh her memory about what she’d dressed herself in before leaving the house. “Thank you.” She said, much more quiet than the last time.
“You’re welcome, again.” I told her. “How many different colors of overalls do you have?” I asked, wondering if she had a whole rainbows worth of colored overalls taking up a dresser at home.
She shrugged. “I dunno, ten maybe.” She said. “You ask a lot of questions.” She added.
“I’m sorry, I won’t ask any more questions if it bothers you.” I said, trying to feverishly back peddle before she decided to leave. “I just wanted to get to know you .” I added.
Skye set her toy down and looked up at me. “Why?” she asked.
I suddenly felt awful for being there and cornering this girl. When she looked at me the sweet little girl disappeared and a flash of adult annoyance showed itself. I began to wish I’d just let her be so she could play happily. “I just think you’re cute. Actually, I think you’re beautiful.” I said. “Since the first day I saw you, I’ve been obsessed with just talking to you, just knowing your name is like the most perfect thing in the world to me right now.” I confessed. I kept my eyes downcast, afraid that if I looked at her I’d see something other than the beautiful and sweet girl that I’d been unable to stop thinking about the past three weeks.
After a long silence I ventured a look, I saw her sitting there, looking at me with tears in her eyes and streaks of former tears fresh on her cheeks. I couldn’t tell by her face why she was crying, but I felt awful that I was probably the cause. I started to stand up, and was stopped by her as she grabbed my wrist.
“Is that true?” she asked, wiping her eyes with the back of her arm.
I nodded. “I meant every word of it.” I told her. “Please don’t cry.” I said.
She wiped her eyes again and let go of me before getting up. “I have to go.” She said before darting off and leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I didn’t know what I’d said to scare her off, I had no clue if I’d ever see her again, and that was the worst part. Something about what I’d said had upset her, and now I might never know what it was or how I could fix it. I sat there for two hours thinking about it before I finally got up and left.
I think all that time on the floor bruised my ass bone. I found anything but laying on my stomach to be horribly uncomfortable. So, for the next three days I lay on my bed staring at the floor. I wanted to cry or scream or something, but I found myself unable to muster the strength to put out that level of emotion.
Madeline called me somewhere in those days, she wanted to know how things had gone at the store and wanted me to come in and talk about it with her. I ignored her for as long as I could, but she started calling every other hour until I finally answered.
“What?” I answered curtly as I opened my phone.
“Well, good afternoon to you too.” Madeline said. “Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?” she asked.
I sighed. “Because I’m done seeing you.” I said.
“Why is that? Did things not work out with the girl?” she asked.
“No, they didn’t work out. I told her how I’d been thinking about her and that I just wanted to talk to her, and she started crying and ran off.” I explained. “So, I’m not coming to see you anymore because you made me hurt someone that I think I might have loved.” I said.
Madeline was silent for a moment. “Did you see her again after she ran off?” she asked.
I sighed again. “No, I haven’t been back to the store since that night.” I said. “Why would I go back, she’s going to avoid going there so she won’t have to see me again.” I added.
“I’m going to give you some free advice,” she started. “And I hope that you take it to heart.” She added. “Girls sometimes act on emotion, and when they do that it may seem like they’re mad or upset, but they will inevitably think about the situation and they’ll probably come back once they’ve had time to process things.” She explained. “Give her another chance and you might be surprised at what happens.” She added.
I sat there thinking, taking in her words and letting them simmer for a minute before responding. “I’m still not coming back in to see you.” I said finally.
“That’s fine, if it’s what you really want. But, if you do follow up with this thing and it ends up working out the way I think it will, will you at least call and tell me I was helpful?” she asked, her tone hopeful.
“I’ll think about it.” I said before closing my phone.
V. Second Chance
Despite my reluctance, I found myself pulling into the parking lot of the store that night. I trudged up to the entrance and back to the toy department, and checked each of the aisles, finding them empty I turned and headed back to the entrance. My eyes were on the floor the whole way to the exit, and as the automatic doors opened I was hit with the warm air of the night and the sweet scent I’d smelled on Skye the first time I’d seen her. I looked up and saw her standing just outside the store, the connecting area between the sets of doors being the only thing separating us.
She was looking at me, her face was painted with surprise, but also appeared to have a tinge of happiness in it. She finally smiled, producing her perfect dimples once again. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.” She said.
My mind was racing, and I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know how I should proceed because I didn’t want to scare her off again. “I thought the same thing about you.” I finally said.
“I’m sorry I ran away.” She said, pulling at an errant thread on the leg of her overalls, soft yellow colored ones this time.
I shook my head. “I shouldn’t have put you in a position where you felt the need to.” I told her. “I was afraid I’d upset you.” I confessed.
She looked up from the thread she’d been battling and smiled at me. “You didn’t upset me.” She said, her voice tiny and wavering. “You made me happier than anyone ever has.” She said, tears welling up in her eyes.
I stood in stunned silence, unable to believe that I’d made this girl so happy that she couldn’t process what was happening and had to leave. “Can I come over to you?” I asked.
She nodded and sniffled as she wiped her eyes.
I walked toward her slowly, and stopped a foot or two away from her. “Can I hug you?” I asked, afraid that my boldness would be too much for her. To my surprise she nodded again, a bit slower this time, but accepting nonetheless. I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around her, allowing her to rest her head on my chest as I embraced her.
We stood there for a long while, though it only felt like a second to me. I breathed in the heavenly scent that seemed to envelope her, and felt at ease as I stood there with her. She finally broke the embrace, her tears dried up, and smiled up at me. “Thank you.” She whispered.
“Thank you.” I said as I let my arms release her and drop back to my sides.
She stood there for a second and looked around me before she returned her gaze to mine. “Do you have a quarter?” she asked.
I fished into my pockets and felt around for a moment before producing the token she’d asked for. I smiled as I dropped it into her flattened held out palm. She closed her hand around it and walked past me. I turned and watched her walk over to a helicopter ride that sat in front of the store. She climbed up into the seat of the ride and dropped the quarter into the slot on the front of the machine causing it to chug to life, playing music and moving back and forth slowly.
I walked over to the machine and sat on the bench next to it, watching Skye smile as the ride moved her. Something about her enjoying herself on some quarter powered ride was so beautiful and innocent, I found myself wishing I could be as carefree and unburdened as her, but at the same time I also just wanted to hold her and cherish her, keep her safe and happy so that she could enjoy herself like this all the time.
“That was fun!” she exclaimed as she hopped off the ride and took a seat next to me on the bench.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” I told her. I sat for a second and then took a deep breath. “Did you enjoy our hug?” I asked her.
She giggled and I felt soft little lips on my cheek. “I like you.” She said simply, her face flushed.
I looked over to her and smiled. “I like you too.” I said. “Do you want to go get breakfast or something and we can talk some more?” I asked.
“Maybe some other time.” She said. “I need to get going.” She said, her tone very apologetic.
I nodded. “Yeah, I understand.” I told her, afraid I’d pushed her too hard too fast and sent her packing.
She took my chin in her hands and turned my head to face her. “I really do need to get going, but I promise that I want to have breakfast with you.” She explained. “Just give me some time.” She added.
I nodded. “I’ve got all the time in the world.” I said, my head swimming as my brain tried to process this whole thing.
And then she was gone, leaving me happier than I’d ever felt. I sat there for a bit longer and then went home, and slept the soundest most peaceful sleep I’d had in months.
I found myself back at Madeline’s office the next day after calling and setting up an appointment. She didn’t seem surprised to see me as I entered her office and took a seat on the couch across from her chair.
“Good to see you Sam.” She said with a smile as she sat down across from me.
I nodded. “Did you know I’d come?” I asked.
Madeline shook her head. “I hoped you would, but I didn’t know you would.” She said. “I take it things went well.” She added.
“Yeah, they went amazingly well.” I started. “She showed up and we hugged and then she rode a helicopter ride outside the store and kissed my cheek before she left.” I explained.
She wrote something down. “Wow, that does sound good.” She said. “Did you get her number?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No, but I’m almost positive that I’ll see her again and eventually get that from her.” I said with a confident smile.
“Did she explain why she ran off?” Madeline asked.
“She said that I made her happier than anyone had, and that she didn’t know how to process the whole thing.” I explained.
She wrote some more. “Did she talk to you about anything else?” she asked.
“Not really.” I said. “She seems very reluctant to let me get too close, like she’s been hurt before and she’s skittish.” I explained.
She nodded. “Typically a regressive personality is a defense mechanism put into place by some sort of trauma or abuse.” She explained. “If you’re serious about pursuing a relationship with this girl you need to understand that she may not have the same goal as you.” She said.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“I mean that while you may have designs on having her be your girlfriend, or having a physical relationship with her, you may be disappointed that she isn’t after that. This girl may want nothing more than to be held and told that she’s special, she may need someone to be there for her emotionally before any kind of physicality can be pursued.” She explained.
I nodded. “Whatever she wants I’ll provide it for her. The only thing I’m after is more time with her.” I explained.
“I hope that’s true. If it is, you should let her know that the next time you see her. Give her the facts and let her be the one to make the decision whether to move forward or not.” She explained.
“Thanks.” I told her. “I really do like this girl, and I want to make absolutely sure that I don’t screw this up.” I said.
Madeline wrote something else down. “I know, but I do want you to understand that that may not be something you can control. This girl may not have the emotional tools to have a normal relationship. She may only have the ability to be friends with you, or she may be completely dependent on you.” She said.
“But at the end of the day she actually is an adult, she’s not really a little girl.” I said.
“Well, yes and no. Physically yes, she is a woman and not a child. Mentally and emotionally though, she may be nothing more than a child.” Madeline explained. “The flashes of adult emotion you described to me suggest that she may have some ability to handle situations as an adult. The way you describe her behavior and attire though tells me that she’s very much a young girl. She may not be able to process a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, she may want a playmate, or a “Daddy” figure.” She added.
I thought for a moment about what she was saying. On the one hand I cared for this girl and I desperately wanted to be a part of her life, on the other hand I knew that deep down I wanted her to be a girlfriend and a lover to me. “Should I ask her what she wants from me?” I asked.
Madeline shook her head. “Putting her in a position where she needs to decide on whether or not she has to be little or adult is not a good position to put her in if you want to make a relationship work, she has to come to that decision naturally. I would suggest going along with what she wants to see whether or not it’s something you can handle, if it is then that’s great for the both of you, but if it isn’t you need to accept that that won’t change and walk away.” She explained.
I sighed. “Why does everything have to be so complicated?” I asked.
Madeline smiled. “Love always is.” She said.
I sat on the bench outside the store that night thinking about what Madeline had said. I sat waiting for Skye to show up hopeful that today would be the day we had breakfast and could talk for real. I had checked inside the store for her and couldn’t find her, so I took a seat out front so I’d be sure to catch her if she showed up.
I looked up as a car stopped in front of me, the driver side window rolling down to reveal Skye. “Hop in.” she said simply before rolling up her window.
I practically leapt off the bench and went around to the other side of the car. I opened the door and dropped into the passenger seat of her late ‘90’s black Acura and we drove off.
“Hi.” I said as we turned out of the parking lot.
“Hi, Sam.” She said with a smile, but without looking at me.
I looked at her as she drove, surveying her attire and demeanor, both of which were a stark contrast to what I’d seen of her before tonight. She had no happy colors, just black. Her jeans were black, as were her shoes and shirt. The only color on her outfit was the red My Little Pony that was printed across her chest, from what I could tell it had black hair, red skin, and spiked collars around its neck and ankles.
“So, where are we going?” I asked finally as we drove down the deserted street.
“Somewhere.” She said, again without looking at me, this time without the smile.
I started to feel uneasy; the radical shift in Skye somehow was unsettling. It felt as though this dark and stoic girl had killed the sweet angel I’d come to know, but had somehow taken over her body and twisted it into a new form. “Are we going somewhere for breakfast?” I asked hopefully.
“I don’t eat breakfast.” She said as she negotiated a left hand turn.
“But the other day you promised we’d get breakfast.” I reminded her.
She finally looked at me. “I said that I wanted to have breakfast with you, like how I want to get to where we’re going without crashing the car because you wanted to play twenty questions.” She said before turning her attention back to driving.
I at in stunned silence for a moment, put off and somewhat angry that this stranger had replaced a girl I’d fallen for. “Who are you?” I finally asked.
This time she smiled when she looked at me. “That’s where we’re going.” She said.
After an hour or so in the car we stopped outside a large gate. I followed her lead and exited the car. In the early dawn light I could see headstones on the other side of the fence. “Are you a ghost?” I asked jokingly, trying to do anything to lighten the mood.
“Not in the strictest sense of the word.” She said. “A part of me is buried here though.” She added quietly.
We walked through the open gate and along the winding path that went through the cemetery until we broke from the path and walked through the graves themselves for a bit, coming to a stop in front of two stones.
“Sam, I’d like you to meet my parents.” She said her voice low and sad.
I read the stones. “Kavitha and Raj Sundaray. How did they die?” I asked.
“Drunk driver. They were on their way to pick me up from the sitter when some guy crossed into their lane and hit them head on.” She explained.
“I’m sorry.” I said quietly.
Sky nodded. “Thank you.” She said. “This is why we’re here, so I can explain to you why I am the way I am.” She said.
“You don’t have to explain anything.” I told her.
“Yes I do.” She said. “I like you a lot Sam, and I want to see where that goes, but at the same time I know that if we start something without full disclosure then a relationship is doomed before it starts.” She explained.
I nodded. “Alright, tell me everything then.” I said.
She took a few deep breaths to calm herself and then started her story. “I was four when my parents were killed. When they died I went to live with my mom’s sister, she was not the best parent in the world. She had a two year old daughter already, and the addition of a four year old orphan wasn’t exactly high on her list of wants.” She explained. “Anyway, after my parents died I started wetting the bed nightly. At first she would just yell at me and make me wash the sheets, and then she started spanking me with a hairbrush and berating me.” She said, wiping a tear from her eye.
“Jesus. Was she psychotic?” I asked.
Skye shook her head. “She was a drunk. She’d go out every night, sometimes all night and then stagger back home just in time to pass out on the couch.” She said. “One day she decided that since I couldn’t stop wetting the bed that I’d have to wear diapers every night like my two year old cousin. She didn’t even help me put them on, she just tossed the package on the bed and ordered me to wear them.” She explained, more tears forming. “After a few nights I finally got the hang of putting them on right, and when the bed stopped being wet I fell off her radar.” She added.
“I’m sorry.” I told her.
She feigned a smile at me and continued. “I spent most of my time playing with her daughter and taking care of her daughter because she was too busy being wasted to even feed her baby. After a while I started viewing this baby as my equal. We both wore diapers, and I’d often eat the same food as her because I was too little to actually cook anything. So for almost a full year until I started school I spent my days playing on the floor with her and drinking bottles with her, napping with her, we did everything together.” She said. “Then I started school, and the teachers thought I was handicapped or something because I wore diapers and behaved like a two year old.” She explained.
“Why were you wearing diapers during the day if you were a bedwetter?” I asked.
“It was easier. I mean my aunt kept buying them, so I would just wear them all the time. I think I thought that if I was more like her daughter she’d love me, or even care about me at all.” She explained.
“But she didn’t even care about her own daughter; she was a piece of **** drunk that left a four year old to raise a two year old.” I said, my anger rising.
“You’re not wrong.” She said. “But let me finish.” She added.
I nodded. “Sorry, please continue.” I told her.
“Anyway, they put me in “special” classes for a while until I caught up to the rest of the kids. I would be a normal kid at school and then when I came home I’d change into my diapers and play with my cousin. My aunt eventually took some initiative and got my cousin potty trained which meant that I had to start hiding my daytime diaper wearing from them. I’d sit on the floor of my room and play with old baby toys almost every afternoon when I got home from school.” She explained. “When my aunt stopped buying diapers for me I would just steal money from her purse and go buy them myself. I did that until I was old enough to get a job and then I bought them with my own money, then I graduated high school and moved out, and the rest is history.” She said.
“So do you still wear diapers?” I asked.
She nodded. “Not all the time, just when I’m feeling particularly little.” She said. “I’ve been wearing a lot more since I met you.” She said with a blush.
“Why is that?” I asked, somewhat confused.
“You make me feel smaller.” She said. “In a good way.” She added.
“I don’t understand.” I told her.
“When I met you, you didn’t care what I was wearing or how I was acting. You just saw me and it didn’t make you uneasy, you saw me for who I was and you accepted it. That made me happy, and when I’m happy I feel smaller, younger if you will, hence more diapers.” She explained.
“So why are you dressed differently now?” I asked.
She gestured to the headstones. “For them.” She said. “It’s silly, but I’m not sure I’d be comfortable standing here in front of their graves dressed like a baby.” She explained. “So, you haven’t told me what you think about all of this.” She said, changing the subject.
I took a deep breath. “Well, it’s a lot of information to process.” I told her.
“If you had to make a choice, right now, accept me for who I am or walk away, what would you choose?” she asked.
“The problem is that I don’t know who you are.” I said. “Are you the playful little girl that I’ve been infatuated with since the day I met her, or are you the stoic girl that doesn’t want to talk while she’s driving and breaks promises about breakfast?” I asked.
“I’m both.” She said quietly. “I’m the girl that likes to be held when she’s feeling little, but wants her space when she’s not. The girl that likes to be told she’s pretty and the girl that knows she is. I’m the girl that wants to be rocked to sleep some nights and have her world rocked in the bedroom other nights. It’s a package deal, you want one and you get both.” She said.
“How do I know when you’re one or the other?” I asked. “What if one day I want to take little you to the zoo, and come to find out big you already has plans to go to the opera or something? What if I want to fool around in the bedroom and you want to sit on the floor in your diapers and watch cartoons? How am I going to know which you I’m dealing with on any given day?” I asked.
She stood silent for a moment. “You won’t.” she answered. “But how is that different than any other relationship? Do you know when your girlfriend is going to be in a bitchy mood when you wake up? No. Does she know she’s going to wake up in a bitchy mood? No. I’m no different, I just wake up and go with whatever feels right that day.” She said.
“I need to think about this.” I told her.
Her mouth hung open slightly as she started to cry. “I can’t believe this. I just shared my most intimate personal story with you, and now you aren’t sure if you like me or not? What the fuck is wrong with you?!” she screamed.
“Nothing. I just need to think about whether or not I can love both versions of you.” I said.
She scoffed angrily. “What was it, the diapers? You think I’m some sort of pervert or something because I like to wear diapers?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No, I have zero problem with that, in fact I think it’s kind of cute. I have a problem with the attitude and demeanor that adult you has. If it weren’t such a polar opposite of the way you are when you’re little I wouldn’t even have to think about it, but it is and I do. I don’t want to give you false hope and say that I accept both versions of you and then I end up hating you when you aren’t little, it isn’t fair to either of us.” I said.
“So what, I should just shut up and be little all the time so that you’ll like me all the time? How is that fair?” she asked.
“I didn’t say that. I want you to be you; I just need to get to know both parts of you better before I can commit to anything.” I explained.
“Fine.” She said. “If you decide that you want to try and get to know me better then call me.” She said as she pulled a pen from her pocket and grabbed my hand to write the number down on it. “If you decide that you don’t, then you aren’t the guy I thought you were.” She said before she turned and walked off toward the exit of the cemetery.
I looked down at my hand and sighed. As the sun started to rise I pulled out my phone and called a cab, the girl of my dreams and my ride were both gone.
Last edited by Dementias_Knight; 08-24-2011 at 02:13 PM.
You have a wonderful style throughout, this is a very impressive start, and I look forward to how this story progresses.
success is not how many times you win but is instead our ability to learn that we win by never giving up when times are tough.
Thank you very much, I appreciate you're kind words and thank you for reading. Glad you like it so far. :D
Originally Posted by Mina Silverwind
Iove the start to this story. The first chapters make me feel like I'm inside Edward Norton's head from fight club. Your writing is quite unique and you manage to stand out on a site that boast a number of good writers, please keep up the good work.
Thank you very much, I think that might be the nicest thing anyone has ever told me about something I've posted. :D I've noticed in my lurkings here that there are many talented writers on this board, it's good to know that I have a shot at being able to measure up to them. Thanks again! :)
Originally Posted by diaperedsam
Rather than make another post, I'll just add this to this one!
VII. Show and Tell
It’s been three days since I saw Skye at the cemetery. I haven’t slept a wink in those three days. I’ve sat up thinking about calling her, I’ve laid down thinking about calling her, and I’ve even dialed all but the last number of her phone number before closing my phone. I want to call her, more than anything I just want to see her again. The problem I keep coming back to is that I’m not sure I can face her after the way we left things. So here I sit, like an idiot, hating a situation I have the power to end but am too stupid to do so.
Madeline has been blowing up my phone for the past three days as well. I’m starting to suspect that she’s bugged my house and knows exactly when I’m going through something that requires her professional help. Maybe that’s the lack of sleep talking though.
“This is ********.” I think to myself as I pick up my phone from the coffee table and open it. “I’m going to call Skye and tell her that I want to see her.” I said, more to strengthen my resolve than as an actual declaration of intent. I entered in the all too familiar numbers, and then the final number before hitting the “send” button.
“Hello.” Her sweet voice said after two rings.
I sat in silence for a moment, my fear welling up again and urging my hand to close the phone. I fought that fear back and cleared my throat. “Hi Skye. It’s Sam.” I said.
“Oh.” She said simply, a tone of disappointment in her voice. “What can I do for you Sam?” she asked rather impatiently.
I sighed. “Look, I know I hurt your feelings the other day, and for that I’m sorry. I just wanted to call you and let you know that I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that day.” I confessed.
“Well, you’ve been thinking about me nonstop for three days and now you have me on the phone, what do you want?” she asked, her words dripping with anger and hurt.
“I don’t know.” I said. “I know that I haven’t slept in three days and I know that you’re the reason for that. I know that every time I close my eyes to try and sleep I see you crying and angry, and I’m completely awake again. Most importantly, I know that I was better off having you in my life, and I want nothing more than for that to happen again.” I told her.
“What about your concerns about us and how things would work?” she asked her tone softer and more tolerant.
“I’ll make it work. Whatever I have to do to be with you, I’ll do it.” I said. “Please just give me a chance.” I pleaded.
She didn’t say anything for a minute or so, and I checked my phone to make sure she was still on the line. “Do you have a pen?” she asked.
I scrambled to find a writing utensil of some sort and quickly grabbed a Sharpie I’d pocketed from work and a slip of paper. “Got it.” I said.
“1641 Oak Lane. White house blue door.” She said. “That’s my house, you can come over tomorrow anytime after eleven A.M.” she added.
I repeated what she said back to her to make sure I got the address right and then we hung up. I stared at the paper in my hand, my golden ticket back into Skye’s life, I kissed it and put it in my wallet and went to try and lie down.
The next day I pulled up outside Skye’s house and sat in my car for a minute to gather my thoughts. I had no idea what awaited me inside other that her, but I wasn’t sure which her I’d be seeing today. I quickly pushed those thoughts out of my head and tried to focus on the fact that I had a chance to make things right and I needed to not blow it.
I exhaled sharply and exited my car. I walked up the small path leading to the front door, taking time to admire the small garden lights and flowers that lined the path on either side. A pair of flower beds sat on either side of the front door, roses blooming in them creating a pleasant cloud of aroma for anyone standing on the doorstep. I knocked on the blue door before me and waited.
The door unlocked and opened revealing Skye. She had a dark blue tanktop on and a black skirt under it. She wore pastel yellow sandals that allowed me to see her pink painted toe nails. “Come on in.” she said as she stepped aside to allow me entrance.
Her house was pretty amazing inside, spacious and full of all sorts of interesting things. She had a big round chair in her living room, the kind that is a big bowl with a cushion in it. Shelves lined several of the walls, books filled most of them, but others were filled with assorted knickknacks. She had a lime green couch that looked like it was bought in the ‘70’s and stored till today to keep it perfectly preserved. Near the edge of the living room was a drafting table, and next to that a desk with a very expensive looking computer on it, I could see a drawing tablet plugged in next to what looked like a scanner also on the large oak desk.
“Would you like a tour?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, this place is amazing.” I told her.
“Thanks, I do what I can.” She said. “Well, this is the living room.” She said, gesturing with her arms to illustrate that we were in fact in the living room. “As you can see I have eclectic tastes.” She said gesturing toward the lime couch. “I like to read and collect things that pique my interest.” She said pointing out her shelves of stuff.
“What’s all that over there?” I asked pointing to the desk with the computer.
Skye smiled and walked over to the desk. “This is my work area.” She said. “I do commissions for people and I have a shop online with prints and stuff of mine that people can buy.” She explained.
“What kind of commissions?” I asked.
“All kinds of stuff. Paintings, tattoos, I’ve even done a few comics.” She said with a smile. “I’m not picky, as long as the money comes in I’ll do anything.” She added.
I looked around the room. “It must be a pretty lucrative business.” I told her.
“I do alright for myself, but most of this stuff is from money my parents left me.” She explained.
We moved on to the kitchen and dining room and from there to the backyard. Several small gardens were spread out across the yard each with many different colored flowers blooming in them. Near the center of the yard was a swingset that looked like it was pulled right from a playground or school. To the right of that was an above ground pool that was about ten feet around, it had rubber ducks and an inflatable raft shaped like a frog in it.
“Looks like you’ve got the fun covered out here.” I told her with a smile.
She smiled back. “Well, I work hard and I play hard.” She said before sticking her tongue out at me playfully.
We went back into the house and back to the back hallway. “That’s the bathroom over there, and my bedroom is at the end of the hall and this is the guest room.” She said as she pointed out each closed door. The guest room door stood out more than the others; it was painted pink and had paint handprints all over it.
“Is that your umm, other room?” I asked, pointing to the guest room door.
Skye blushed slightly. “Yes, that’s my nursery and playroom.” She said somewhat nervously.
“Can I see it?” I asked. “If you’re alright with showing it to me.” I added.
She shuffled nervously and looked down at the floor. “Maybe some other time.” She mumbled.
I placed a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, you can take your time showing me things.” I told her.
Skye looked up at me; she was biting her lower lip. “I want to show you, I just don’t want it to be too much too fast. I mean it’s one thing to hear about every part of my little side but it’s another thing to actually see it all.” She said.
I smiled at her. “Skye, I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t share yourself with me. I promise you that I’m here because I want to make things work between us, and I want to know everything about you but only when you’re ready to show me.” I told her reassuringly.
She nodded and moved past me to the guest room door. Placing her hand on the knob she took a deep breath and started to open the door. As the door opened the soft, sweet scent I’d smelled on Skye rolled out as if the room’s sole purpose was to store the heavenly smell. When the door was all the way open Skye stepped aside to allow me to walk in first.
The first thing I noticed was that there was a lot of pink adorning the room. I looked around the room, taking in all the sights. In the corner under the window was an adult sized crib, near the foot of that was a large changing table with stacks of various diapers under the top on a shelf. The walls were painted a soft pink and had Winnie the Pooh characters drawn on the wall; it reminded me of the pediatrician’s office I went to as a kid. The center of the room had a play mat spread out on the floor and was littered with soft toys and stuffed animals. Two large mirrored closet doors completed my pan of the room, and I soon found myself turned back to facing Skye who was partially hidden behind the door frame.
“Well?” she asked her eyes a little wider than normal as she looked up at me. She had the look of a small child who had a bad report card and now her parents were home and she wanted to be as cute as possible so they wouldn’t be mad.
I looked back at the room over my shoulder and down at the toys on the floor. “It looks like a very messy little girl has been playing in here.” I told her, trying desperately to keep from smiling and laughing at how cute she looked.
Skye practically leapt through the door and started gathering up the scattered toys on the floor. She was muttering something to herself, it sounded like she was scolding herself for leaving the toys out though she knew that I might see the room that day.
“Skye.” I said causing her to stop immediately and turn to face me, her arms still full of collected toys. “I was teasing you.” I told her, a warm smile on my face to let her know everything was alright.
“You, you aren’t mad?” she stammered.
I shook my head. “Why would I be mad? What place is better for little girls to leave their toys than in their nursery?” I asked.
The toys dropped to the floor as she let them go and dove at me, her arms wrapping around my torso tightly as she buried her face in my chest. “I was afraid that I’d made you mad and that you were going to not like me anymore.” She said, her voice muffled by my shirt.
I reached down and lifted her chin up so she could face me. “I don’t know if I’m capable of not liking you anymore.” I said. Then I caught a glint in her eye. “You can turn it on and off like a faucet, can’t you?” I asked.
“Turn what on and off?” she asked.
“Little and big. Adult and baby. You can switch in and out anytime you want, can’t you?” I asked.
She got a sheepish look on her face and let me go before taking a step back. “It’s possible.” She said quietly.
I exhaled sharply. “So, all that stuff you said at the cemetery about you just going with whatever felt right, and the flipping out on me for having general concerns, what was that?” I asked.
She swallowed hard and looked away. “A test.” She said.
“A test? What kind of test?” I asked.
She continued looking at the wall to her right as she started to answer.
“Look at me when you’re talking to me!” I shouted.
She snapped her attention right to me, her lower lip quivering. “It was a test to see if you really liked me or not.” She answered her voice wavering and fearful. “If it makes you feel any better, you being here means you passed.” She offered with a half hearted smile.
I inhaled deeply and exhaled sharply. “I didn’t sleep for three days because I was so worried that I had made some kind of bone headed mistake. I thought that I was wrong for having doubts about trying to have a relationship with you.” I said. “You’re an awful person.” I told her, my gaze cold and angry.
She whimpered, and started to cry as a pattering sound on the floor began to fill the room. We both looked down at the same time to see a small trickle of urine coming from under her skirt and fall onto the play mat below. “Please, I’m sorry for tricking you. I just needed to know that you weren’t just interested in me because you were some kind of sex pervert.” She confessed as the small trickle of pee turned into a full stream and she dropped to a squatting position as she began bawling.
I stepped toward her just enough so that when she looked up from the floor I towered over her, providing her a view I knew would make her see me as an authority figure and someone to be listened to. “You see? Right now, I could be consoling you and getting ready to strip you down and diaper you up.” I said. Then I squatted down in front of her so she could see my face clearly, see the look of anger and hurt in my eyes. “But you fucked that up when you lied to me.” I said, barely able to contain my own tears as I got up and headed for the door.
“Please, don’t go!” she wailed after me. “I can’t help it, I’m a compulsive liar.” She confessed between sobs.
I stopped and turned around with a sigh. “So, you know you have a problem, are you doing anything to fix it?” I asked my tone very demanding and short.
She nodded and stood up slowly, errant drops of pee still coming from below her skirt. “I’m seeing a therapist to help me stop doing it.” She said.
“And how do I know that you’re not lying to me right now?” I asked.
“I put her card up on the fridge, I can call her and confirm my next appointment with her or something to prove that I’m seeing her every week.” She said, her voice hopeful that perhaps she’d found some way to keep me from leaving.
“Stay there, I’ll get the card and you can use my phone.” I said as I left the room and went to the kitchen. Right in the center of the fridge was the card, a card I suddenly realized I’d seen before. The card was for Madeline Price, my therapist.
“Did you find it?!” Skye called out.
A smile began to spread across my face. “Oh yeah, I found it!” I answered. “I found the golden ticket.” I thought to myself.
Great job once again on another trascendant chapter to a great story. Your writing style places us into the mind, emotions, and personality of each character. You do a fantastic job of describing why each character does or thinks&reacts in any given situation.
success is not how many times you win but is instead our ability to learn that we win by never giving up when times are tough.
*blush* My head may not fit through the door if things like this continue to be said. :D Sincerely, thanks very much for your words, they keep me eager to continue writing. :)
Originally Posted by Mina Silverwind
Now, on with the story! I hope this chapter doesn't drag too much or get to repetitive. By all means let me know if it does.
VIII. Give and Take
I returned to the nursery with the card in my hand. I looked at Skye standing in the center of the room looking at me apologetically as she shifted uncomfortably in her wet panties and skirt. “Do you want me to help you get cleaned up and into some clean clothes?” I asked her.
Skye nodded sullenly and stuck her thumb in her mouth.
I stepped into the room and up to her. “Was that a yes?” I asked as I looked down at her.
“Yeth.” She slurped behind her thumb.
I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Too bad.” I told her.
She looked up at me, her eyes wide with surprise.
“I want you to clean up the mess you made and take a bath, and wash your wet clothes.” I told her. “When you’re done with all of that I want you to come into the living room and tell me that you’re done.” I said.
She said nothing for a moment as she searched my eyes for any sign that I was teasing her again, when she found none she looked down at her feet and mumbled behind her thumb.
“What? Did you say something?” I asked.
She looked back up at me when she heard my tone. “Othay.” She repeated.
“Good girl, I’ll be in the living room waiting for you.” I told her before I left the room and headed to the living room. I could hear movement in the nursery as Skye set to her tasks, and I couldn’t help but smile as I picked up a magazine off the coffee table and began thumbing through it.
After a minute or two Skye emerged from the nursery and headed into the kitchen, I heard her rummaging in the cabinets for a moment before I saw her leave with a bucket of cleaning supplies and dart back to the nursery without saying a word.
I set my magazine down and got up from the couch before making my way back to the nursery. I peeked around the door frame and smiled as I saw Skye on all fours in the middle of the room with pink rubber gloves on scrubbing the play mat with a soapy scrub brush. I watched her work for a minute, stifling a chuckle as I heard her scolding herself for “piddling on the floor”. She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t see me standing there, a situation which I intended to maintain. I slipped back behind the wall and headed back to the living room.
Sometime later I heard the nursery door close and then another door open and close. I got up again and went back to the hallway stopping when I heard the tub start running in the bathroom. I knocked softly on the door, and was startled with how quickly the door flung open. Skye stood there, her hair disheveled and her clothes covered with wet spots from her cleaning.
“Whatchya doin’?” I asked.
Skye looked puzzled for a moment. “You told me to take a bath.” She said finally, her voice sounding uncertain that what she was saying was accurate.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to take a bath with the door closed?” I asked. “What if you slipped and fell or drowned? How would I know?” I asked.
Skye blushed deeply and removed her hand from the door before she turned around and started to slowly remove her clothes. I watched for a second and then realized that I was forcing this poor girl to strip and bathe in front of me despite the fact that we barely knew each other.
“Tell you what, I’m gonna go back to the living room. If you need me just holler.” I said, noting the visible relief that seemed to wash over her before I left.
I returned to the living room disappointed in myself that I might be pushing Skye too hard with my demands. On the one hand I did want to get back at her for lying to me, but on the other I didn’t want to make her so uncomfortable that she wanted nothing to do with me or was afraid of me. I sat back down on the couch to decide how I was going to proceed with this whole thing.
A half hour after I left her to take a bath I heard her shuffle into the living room. I turned to see her standing there with her large towel wrapped around her body and a smaller one wrapped around her hair. “I finished my bath.” She reported.
I smiled at her and stood up. “Good girl.” I praised, getting a wide smile to spread across her face. “I think you should go get dressed before you catch a cold.” I told her playfully.
“Umm, I was wondering if you,” she started, her shyness taking over again and forcing her to look down at the floor and talk into her chest. “Well, if you wanted to that is…” she said, trailing off before she finished her sentence.
I waited for the rest of the sentence to come, and when it didn’t I jumped in. “If I wanted to what?” I asked.
She blushed deeply again and I saw her eyeing her thumb, dying to put it in her mouth to calm herself. “Do you want to help me get dressed?” she asked hurriedly as though her words were made of fire and she needed to get them out before they burned her mouth.
“Would you like me to help you get dressed?” I asked. “I don’t want you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.” I told her.
She couldn’t wait any longer; she thrust her thumb upward and into her mouth with lightning speed. She looked up at me with her cutest face and nodded. “Yeth pleathe.” She slurped.
My heart began to beat a little faster as I walked over to her and took her by the hand and led her back to the nursery. I opened the door and turned back to look at her. “You did a very good job cleaning up your room, I’m very proud of you.” I told her, my tone now morphed into that of a parent’s when they’re talking to their young child.
We crossed the room to the changing table and I turned again to her. “Do you have panties in here?” I asked.
Skye shook her head. “Onwy diaperths an twainink panths.” She said behind her thumb.
I deciphered her muddled words and cleared my throat. “Do you want panties?” I asked her.
She gave the slightest little wiggle as if she felt a bug scamper up her back before she shook her head.
“Training pants?” I asked.
She shook her head slowly, knowing that there was only one other option on the table. “Diaperth.” She said.
“Alright.” I said, my heart now racing as I nervously reached down and picked her up. I couldn’t believe how light she actually was. She wasn’t as light as a real baby, not by a long shot, but I could easily lift her off the floor and up to the top of the changing table without feeling like I would break my back. I looked at her tentatively for a moment before reaching for the edge of the towel that sat just above her breasts, when she made no move to stop me I grabbed the towel and slowly pulled it off of her.
She blushed as the towel fell to the floor in a heap. She looked away as I drank in the sight of her naked body. I realized I was staring just quick enough to avoid being creepy, and then I gently guided her to lie down on the table. I marveled at what a conundrum her body was. It was fragile and childlike, but somehow distinctly womanly.
“Is this your first time?” Skye asked, her voice startling me because I had slipped off into a bit of a trance.
I shook my head to bring myself back to reality. “No, I’ve seen girls naked before.” I explained, my cheeks flushing slightly.
She giggled. “I meant is it your first time putting a diaper on someone?” she clarified.
“Oh! Well, yeah.” I confessed. “I thought I could fake my way through it.” I added.
She smiled. “You’ll have to stop staring at me first.” She teased.
I cleared my throat nervously and reached under the table to grab one of the diapers. “There are two kinds, which one do I use?” I asked.
“The disposables.” She said. “The ones on the right.” She clarified when I didn’t immediately come back up with what she’d requested.
I grabbed one of the plastic covered diapers and brought it back up with me. “Now what?” I asked.
“Unfold it and put it under my butt.” She said her voice very patient.
I opened the diaper up and slid it under her as she lifted her butt up for me. I wiggled it a bit to get it into the right spot and then looked up at her for my next instructions. She had her arms folded underneath her head, giving the appearance that she was lounging on the table top as she waited for me to complete my tasks.
“Now get the wipes and powder that are next to the diapers and wipe the diaper are clean and put some powder down there.” She explained.
I dropped back down to the under part of the table and grabbed the box of wipes and container of powder. I came back up and set the items down on the table. I pulled a wipe out of the box and went to work wiping her groin.
“Don’t forget my butt.” She chirped.
I grabbed her ankles and lifted her legs up before making a few gentle wipes down her crack and lowering her legs again. I tossed the wipe into the bin at the foot of the table and picked up the powder. I twisted the top open and then began sprinkling the white powder onto her groin. It was in that moment that I realized that the smell I’d been so keen on since meeting Skye was none other than the white powder I was sprinkling on her.
“So, this is your perfume?” I asked.
She giggled. “I guess you could say that.” She said.
“It’s been driving me crazy that I didn’t know what the soft and pleasant smell that always seemed to follow you was.” I told her as I applied some powder to her butt.
“Rub it in a little please.” She requested.
I did as she asked, trying to be as careful as possible not to touch her inappropriately. I finished my work and then grabbed the front of the diaper and pulled it up between her legs. “Like this?” I asked.
Skye nodded, and I held the diaper flat against her body as I pulled the tapes into place and secured them, completing my first ever diapering. I beamed proudly as I looked up at her for approval. She sat up and checked my work. She poked and prodded the diaper and wiggled her butt a bit before she leaned forward and hugged me. “Excellent job.” She said with a smile. “Now help me down.” She said.
I picked her up and set her down on the floor where she immediately moved to the mirrored closet doors and slid one aside revealing an enormous collection of clothes. She turned back to me and smiled. “Now we pick an outfit.” She said.
I was once again thrust into unfamiliar territory as I was now expected to find an outfit for this adorable girl that stood before me in only a bulky disposable diaper. “What kind of outfit do you want?” I asked, praying that she had some kind of idea of what she wanted to wear.
She made a happy noise that resembled a squeal and practically dove into the closet. She crinkled adorably with each movement, and after she had disappeared into the mob of clothes for a bit she finally emerged with a light pink shirt with white lace trimming the arm holes and the bottom of the shirt. An ice skating penguin was happily smiling from his perch on the chest of the shirt, and I had trouble deciding who looked happier, Skye or the penguin.
I took the shirt from her and helped her pull it over her head before removing the towel that was holding her hair and dropping it to the floor. I looked her up down and leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “I think you might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” I whispered to her.
She beamed at me and hugged me tightly. “I’m sorry I lied to you.” She said.
“I know. I forgive you.” I told her. “But from now on, I want us to be completely honest with each other.” I added.
She nodded her agreement. “I promise to be honest with you from now on.” She said. Then she let go of me and looked up with a wide smile. “I’m thirsty!” she said excitedly before she scampered off out of the room.
I watched her diapered bottom jiggle as she ran out and suddenly had the strongest urge to swat it. “Later.” I thought to myself as I followed behind her.
I rounded the corner at the end of the hallway and saw the fridge door opened and a little diapered butt sticking out just beyond the door. I decided to take my opportunity sooner rather than later and hauled my arm back and gave a powerful open palmed smack to the seat of her diaper causing her to scream and jump out of the fridge.
“OW!” she cried as she rubbed her sore behind and stuck her lower lip out. “Why’d you smack me?” she asked.
I smiled widely at her. “Because your butt looked like it needed it.” I said. “Did you find something to drink?” I asked.
She nodded and reached into the fridge, pulling a baby bottle full of brown liquid out and handing it to me. “Its chocolate milk!” she squealed. She closed the fridge door and grabbed my hand, leading me into the living room. “Sit.” She commanded when we got to the couch.
I seated myself and watched happily as she climbed onto my lap and positioned herself so that I was cradling her. I put the nipple of the bottle in her mouth and stroked her hair gently as she nursed it. She closed her eyes and made contented mewling noises as she drank. I lay my head back against the couch and closed my eyes. Before long I fell asleep with a snugly little girl in my arms, and it was the best sleep I’d ever had.
I had a wonderful dream. I dreamt that I was happy. The details are fuzzy, but I know that it had something to do with Skye and I being together.
I woke up to find my lap empty and a blanket covering me as well as a pink post-it note stuck to my forehead. I pulled the little square off of me and rubbed the sleep from my eyes before reading it.
‘Sam, I had to run into town to mail something so I can make $$$. I’ll be back soon, and I’d really like it if you stayed for dinner. Love, Skye.’ I smiled as I set the note down on the coffee table and stretched before getting up. I went to the bathroom and then went out to the backyard and pulled my phone from my pocket. I scrolled down my contact list and stopped on Madeline’s name and hit SEND.
I got her voice mail and waited for the beep before leaving my message. “Hey Madeline, this is Sam Roosevelt calling to schedule an appointment with you for next week sometime. Call me back and let me know what you have available. Thanks.” I said. I closed my phone and pocketed it then headed back into the house.
I grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge and went back to the couch to wait for Skye to get home. I only had to wait a few minutes before I heard the front door unlock. I quickly set my drink down and got up from the couch and headed to the door as it opened and Skye came in.
“Oh, you’re awake.” She said as she shut the door and set her keys down on the small table next to the door. “Did you get my note?” she asked with a playful giggle.
I smiled. “It was sort of hard to miss.” I said.
She returned my smile. “Did you snoop while I was gone? Maybe take a peek in my medicine cabinet? Poke around my underwear drawer? Try on my clothes?” she teased.
I nodded. “I did all of those things.” I said. “But, I think you look much better in your clothes.” I added.
“Well, I don’t look half bad out of them.” She said with a mischievous grin and a wink.
I chuckled and then leaned in and kissed her. I gently slid my tongue into her mouth and caressed her tongue with mine before picking her up and holding her to me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and kissed me passionately as she wrapped her arms around me.
I broke the kiss off after another moment and shifted her around so she was perched on my hip with her butt supported by my arm. “We’ll finish that later.” I said after she made an unhappy grumble and started to pout. “If you’re a good girl.” I added.
She gasped and playfully smacked my arm. “I’m always a good girl.” She said nodding her head to emphasize her point.
“Is that why you peed all over the floor earlier?” I asked.
“Well, I’m mostly a good girl.” She corrected.
I set her back down and went to grab my drink. “So, what’s for dinner?” I asked.
Skye unbuttoned her pants, slipped her flip flops off and removed her jeans. She draped them over the back of the couch and then pulled her shirt off and set that on top of the pants. Then she removed her bra and sat that on top of both the other garments.
I admired her body again as she stood there naked except for her diaper. Her breasts, B’s at the most, swayed ever so gently as she picked up her small stack of clothes and headed out of the room. She returned a moment later, pulling her pink penguin shirt over her head as she walked into the room. “Much better.” She said with a smile. “Oh, dinner is going to be lasagna.” She said, remembering that I’d asked.
“Yum.” I said. “Do you need any help getting it ready?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Nope, I can do it all by myself.” She told me as she beamed with pride. “You can however sit at the table and talk to me while I cook.” She said.
I went to the table and had a seat. “What should we talk about?” I asked.
“Well, I told you about my childhood, tell me about yours.” She said.
I chuckled. “Not much to tell.” I said. “I had a pretty normal childhood, and my parents loved me very much.” I told her.
“What do they do?” she asked as she rummaged around the kitchen collecting ingredients and cooking utensils.
“My dad is a lawyer and my mom’s an optometrist. They moved to Colorado two years ago when my dad got promoted to CEO of the Denver office, and my mom opened her own optometry office.” I explained.
“So your family has money?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yes, my family does have money.” I told her, putting emphasis on the word ‘family’.
“Bad blood between you and them?” she asked.
I sighed and took a sip of my soda. “A little while after they moved to Denver they asked me to take my sister in because she’d fallen in with a bad crowd. I told them that she was sixteen and she was going to make some bad choices.” I explained. “Six months later she was raped at a college party she somehow ended up at. My parents blamed me of course, and they said some things and I said some things, and to make a long story short I’m not in the will anymore.” I said.
“I’m sorry.” She said. “What about your sister, how does she feel about you?” she asked.
“I’m her big brother; I don’t think she’ll ever stop loving me.” I said. “Anyway, she still sends me emails and stuff regularly. She says that as soon as she turns eighteen she’s going to move out and come visit, so I have that to look forward to.” I said with a smile.
“Well if you’re as caring with her as you are with me, then I think she’s very lucky.” She told me.
I laughed. “Well, I don’t think I’ll be bottle feeding my sister while she snuggles on my lap if that’s what you mean.” I said.
Skye stuck her tongue out at me. “You know that wasn’t what I meant.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Let’s play a game!” she shouted excitedly.
“What kind of game?” I asked.
“Like truth or dare, but without dares.” She said. “So, let’s play Truth. I’ll ask you a question and then you ask me one and we’ll go back and forth until we run out of questions.” She explained.
I nodded. “Alright.” I said.
“How old are you?” she asked.
“Twenty-six.” I told her. “How old are you?” I asked before taking a drink of my soda.
“Seventeen.” She answered.
I choked on my soda and turned away as I coughed violently to keep from choking to death. “What!?” I screamed.
Skye burst out laughing, her face bright red. “I was joking, it was just a joke.” She said. “I couldn’t help myself, I knew you’d freak out, and you were in the middle of drinking, and it was just too perfect to pass up.” She explained. “I’m twenty-five.” She added.
“That wasn’t funny.” I told her as I wiped soda from my chin and cleared my throat. “I want to see you’re driver’s license.” I said, causing her to laugh again.
“Alright, it’s my turn. What are your fetishes?” she asked.
I raised my eyebrows. “Upping the ante, eh?” I asked. “Well, before I met you I was mostly two scoops of vanilla. Now though, I think women in diapers and baby clothes have piqued my interest.” I said.
She smiled. “Well, that’s good for me then.” She said.
I nodded. “What about you? Do you have any other tricks in your bag?” I asked.
She continued working on our dinner and didn’t look up when she answered. “Well, I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, I like humiliation, and also I like to be dominated.” She said. “But, none of that should be news to you.” She said looking up at me with a grin.
I nodded. “I guess I’ve seen it all. Well, see ya.” I said before pretending to get up and leave.
“Sit your butt down mister man.” She ordered with a giggle. “How many girls have you been with?” she asked after I’d returned to my seat.
“Five.” I said simply.
She looked surprised. “Only five?” she asked. “Wow.” She added.
“Is that a lot?” I asked.
She shook her head and laughed. “No, that is not a lot. That’s why I’m surprised, you’re so handsome that I figured it’d be higher.” She explained.
I blushed slightly at being thought of as handsome. “Well, you’re absolutely stunning, so maybe I should brace myself for your number.” I said as I grabbed the table and pretended to hold on for dear life.
“Two.” She said with a perfect little smile.
It was my turn to be surprised. “Two. That’s amazing.” I said. “So, you’re barely not a virgin then.” I mused.
She laughed loudly. “No, I’m very far from not a virgin.” She said. “I said I was with two guys, not that I’d had sex twice.” She clarified. “Why is that a thing that excites guys? Being with a virgin, I mean.” She asked.
I shrugged. “We like to defile the pure.” I joked. “I really don’t know it’s kind of a boon to our ego’s to know that we’re the first guy to be with that girl.” I explained. “The two guys you were with, were you little with them?” I asked.
“One, yes. The other guy wasn’t into it, so we didn’t include it in the mix.” She answered. “That guy turned out to be a mistake.” She added.
“How so?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t want to answer that.” She said, a pall coming over her face.
I nodded. “Okay, sorry.” I said.
“Don’t worry about it.” She said, her mood brightening again. “Have you ever made any mistakes when it comes to girls?” she asked.
I nodded. “With my first girlfriend.” I said.
“What happened there?” she asked.
I sighed. “Well, I was seventeen, and we’d just recently had sex for the first time and we both wanted to experiment with other positions and stuff.” I explained. “Anyway, one night we tried anal sex, and the next day she called and told me that she was, umm bleeding.” I said, unsure of how to say that particular part.
“Like from her butt?” she asked with a smirk.
I nodded. “Yeah, she was bleeding from her butt.”
Skye started laughing. “Oh no.” she said between giggles.
“Yeah. So anyway, I wanted to be a caring boyfriend so I went and got her some flowers.” I said. “And a card.” I added.
New laughter started from Skye. “What did the card say?” she asked, trying to quell her laughing.
“Get well soon.” I said.
That was it, Skye was gone after that. She began to laugh hysterically and tears started forming in her eyes.
“It’s not funny.” I said between laughs of my own. “She apparently didn’t think it was very sensitive to her situation and she broke up with me.” I added.
Skye was still unable to control her laughter, she’d started holding onto the counter to keep herself from falling to the floor. “Aww, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” She said between gasps for air. “I wouldn’t have dumped you.” She said as she came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“It wasn’t my fault that the store didn’t have a card for that particular occasion.” I said. “I did the best with what they had.” I added.
Skye started laughing again. “I’m sure that ‘Sorry I made your ass bleed.’ cards would sell like hot cakes if they existed. That has to be a huge untapped market.” She said with a fresh fit of giggles.
We sat down to dinner some time later, the lasagna smelled fantastic, and Skye had opened a bottle of wine for us to enjoy with dinner. We sat and ate, enjoying the food and drink, and most importantly the company. By the time we’d finished eating Skye looked like she hadn’t used silverware to eat at all. She had bits of tomato sauce on her chin and the edges of her mouth, and her shirt was riddled with tomato sauce spots.
“Is any of that intentional?” I asked gesturing to the stains.
She looked down and blushed. “Sadly, no.” she said. “I think I’ve had so much practice eating like a baby that I can’t help it anymore.” She said as she wiped at the spots on her shirt with her napkin.
“Do you want some help with that?” I asked.
She stopped wiping at her shirt and looked up at me, and then she nodded slowly. I got up from my chair and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed a dish towel and got it wet in the sink and then went to her and knelt down in front of her and began dabbing at the spots of tomato sauce.
“You were a very good girl today.” I told her as my dabbing reached the spot on her shirt just above her nipple.
She shuddered and looked at me hungrily. “Was I?” she asked.
I nodded and changed my dabbing to gently circular strokes. “Yes you were.” I told her.
She put her hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes. “Let’s see if we can’t change that.” She said before she leapt off the chair toward me entrusting me to catch her.
I did catch her, and then I hoisted her and myself up as we started kissing each other passionately like we had earlier that day. I supported her butt with my left arm and removed her shirt with some help from her and my right. Then she pushed away from me gently and looked down.
“I’m wet.” She said sheepishly.
I smiled at her. “You’re gonna get a whole lot wetter.” I told her, impressed with myself for coming up with such a sexy line.
She giggled. “I’m sure I will, but that isn’t what I meant.” She said. “I meant my diaper is wet.” She clarified, choosing her words carefully, afraid of turning me off.
“Is that going to be a problem for what we’re planning on doing?” I asked.
She shook her head. “It isn’t for me, I just thought I’d make you aware.” She said.
“Thanks for the heads up.” I said before I resumed kissing her and we headed back to the bedroom.
I never tire of your great stories which as a whole keep my guessing as to what happens next. I thank you sharing whatever stoires you have when inspiration strikes, and I will eagerly await what you do later.
success is not how many times you win but is instead our ability to learn that we win by never giving up when times are tough.
Thank you Mina! I wish more people had things to say about my story, but I think maybe I need a few more stories under my belt to get that. I'll just write this one for you and diaperedsam! :D Thank you again for your support and positive words, they are greatly appreciated.
Originally Posted by Mina Silverwind
X. Attitude Adjustment
So, yeah, Skye is what you would call a “screamer”. That girl has a set of lungs on her that is somewhat jarring when she’s in the throes of passion. I am genuinely worried about what it will be like when she’s angry or in the mood to throw a temper tantrum. Besides that, I think I love her. I mean I know I care about her, and I definitely want to pursue a relationship with her, I just don’t want the neighbors to think I’m murdering her any time we make love.
Actually, I do have one other hang up, she called me Daddy. Well, she screamed Daddy a lot, I’m pretty sure it was directed toward me. It’s not that I dislike her thinking of me as her Daddy, because that’s what people like her call the guy that takes care of them, and that is what I want to do. I just don’t know if I’m ready for her to be calling me that just yet.
The next morning I woke up to find Skye cuddled up to me with her thumb hanging just inside her mouth. She was snoring softly as I moved slowly to get out of the bed and head to the bathroom. When I put my hand down near the bottom of the bed to push myself up I felt a cold wetness on the sheet. I lifted the blanket gently and peeked underneath to see a large wet patch originating from underneath my sleeping beauty’s lower half. With a sigh I let the blanket come back down before pulling on my underwear and heading to the bathroom.
I assumed that Skye knew she was a bedwetter, and that it wouldn’t be a big deal for her to wake up wet. I was positive that she would wake up and feign surprise, pout, and then after some consoling she’d move on with her day. It’s a good thing I’m not a betting man.
“Oh no!” I heard her cry out from within the bathroom. I finished going to the bathroom and made my way back to the bedroom to find her sitting in the middle of the sizable wet spot crying into her hands.
“Aww, it’s alright honey.” I said in my most calming of tones.
She dropped her hands and glared at me. “What part of this is alright?” she asked. “These sheets cost me a hundred and twenty dollars, and now they’re soaked in piss. So, what part of that is alright?!” she snarled.
I was completely dumbfounded and unable to answer her. I was so shocked by her reaction that all I could do was stand there and stare at her.
She sighed and wiped her eyes and then got up off the bed and began gathering the sheets up in a huff. When the sheets were removed the large spot on the mattress was revealed, and then she got mad. “Fuck!” she screamed. “That’s absolutely fucking perfect.” She said through clenched teeth.
“Calm down honey, it’s just a little stain on the mattress.” I said, trying to talk her down from her eventual explosion of rage.
Again she glared at me as though I’d suggested she stick shards of glass in her eyes to relieve a headache. “That,” she said pointing to the spot. “is not a little stain. That is a big stain, and unless you’re going to offer some kind of solution for making it disappear, I’d very much appreciate it if you shut the fuck up.” She said.
I took a deep breath once I’d gotten over the initial shock of her outburst and the way she’d talked to me and quietly got dressed, which was not a smart thing to do.
“You’re leaving?!” she shouted.
I looked at her in disbelief. “Yeah, I’m leaving.” I told her as I finished getting dressed. “I don’t know what guys you’ve dated that allowed you to talk to them like that, but there is no way in Hell that I’m gonna stand here and be screamed at for no reason.” I told her.
She just stared at me with her mouth agape as she watched me head for the door of the bedroom. “Fine, just go.” She said, defeat replacing the anger from before.
I sighed. “If I wasn’t so sure you’d enjoy it, I take you over my knee and paddle your ass while I soaped that filthy fucking mouth of yours.” I said, unaware that those words were like a pointy stick poking a very angry bear.
“How should I be reacting Sam?! Huh?! Tell me how I should be acting in this situation. Put yourself in my shoes for a minute.” She said. “Imagine that you just had a fantastic night with someone that you hope feels as strongly for you as you do for them, you had amazing sex, and then you wake up to find that you pissed the bed. Does that sound like a fun thing to wake up to?!” she screamed. “But maybe you’re right, maybe all I need for being angry at myself for embarrassing myself in front of you and ruining my bed is a good spanking and mouth soaping.” She added.
“I just…” I managed to say before she cut me off.
“No, don’t back peddle now!” she shouted before climbing on the bed and sticking her butt up in the air toward me. “Do it! Smack my ass and teach me a lesson!” she commanded. When I didn’t move or say anything she reached back and slapped herself on the butt as hard as she could. “Do I need to get you started?” she asked.
“Skye, just stop.” I told her. “I’m sorry that I said that, I was angry at you for yelling at me, and I wasn’t thinking about what you were going through. I’m sorry.” I told her.
She scoffed. “Well, you certainly are sorry.” She said. “Maybe you’re the one that should be the little girl in this relationship.” She spat. “You certainly don’t sound like any kind of man when you’re backing down from a girl that just pissed her bed and is asking to be spanked.” She said with a cackle at my expense. “Why don’t you go find a pretty little dress to wear in my closet, and then we can be sisters.” She offered in a mocking tone.
That’s when I snapped. It wasn’t her words that did it, it wasn’t even her tone of voice or the rudeness of it all, it was the fact that she’d lured me into falling for her with her sweet little girl act, and now she had a mouth like a sailor and absolutely no regard for my feelings. I quickly closed the distance between us and grabbed her around the waist before flipping her around and positioning her on her stomach across my lap as I sat down on the bed. “You will never talk to me like that again. Is that understood?” I asked.
“Why, did I hit a nerve? Maybe I said something that was a little too close to home?” she asked, venom dripping from every word.
I didn’t even respond, I just started spanking, and after only five of my open palmed blows Skye began kicking her legs and wailing. After ten more she was screaming as she cried her eyes out for me to stop. By the time I’d finished with her and managed to calm myself down enough to stop, I’d delivered over a hundred and thirty smacks to her pert little bottom. She’d long since run out of fight, and was barely able to stand when I moved her off my lap and onto the floor. She had tears streaming down her face, and her nose was running as she gasped for breath between sobs.
“Now, what were you saying?” I asked.
She shook her head and put her thumb in her mouth. “Noffing.” She said hoarsely.
I yanked her thumb from her mouth, nearly pulling her to the floor in the process. “You had a **** load to say a minute ago, what happened?” I asked.
She shook with fear as she avoided looking into my eyes. “You spanked me.” She said.
I nodded vigorously. “I absolutely did, and if you ever talk to anyone that way again, not just me but anyone, I’ll do it harder and longer.” I told her.
“I’m sorry Daddy.” She said sullenly.
I shook my head. “I’m not your Daddy; I’m the guy that’s leaving.” I told her before walking out of the room and leaving her standing there crying with a sore butt and smelling like pee.
She called me thirty-seven times over the next three days. She only left one message, one that explained that she hadn’t meant anything she’d said to me in the bedroom before I exploded, and that all she was trying to do was get me to punish her for wetting the bed but that asking me to do so would have taken the thrill out of it for her. She cried for most of the rest of the ten minute long message, but finished with a heartfelt apology.
I hated to admit it, but her message made a lot of sense. The more I thought about the more justified I felt her actions were given the outcome she was after. The one thing keeping me from calling her or going to her place was the doubt that I had as to whether or not the whole dynamic of a relationship with her was what I wanted. I knew that I loved spending time for her and caring for her, but was I down for punishing her for her wrongdoings? Was I ready to be a parent for an adult baby? Most importantly though, was I going to get what I wanted out of this whole thing without agreeing to the rest of the stuff?
In the end I went to see her. I went with every intention of getting everything out in the open, to find out exactly what I’d be signing on for if I pursued a relationship with her. I had several pages of questions written down that I’d brought with me, and I intended to get an answer for every single one of them, but she didn’t answer the door. I tried calling her, and got no answer there either. Her car was in the driveway, so unless someone picked her up or she went for a walk, she had to be home. I tried the knob on the front door and immediately felt uneasy when it turned and the door opened.
“Skye!” I called out. “Its Sam, the front door was unlocked. Are you home?!” I asked.
Nothing in the entrance way seemed out of place, and the kitchen and dining room weren’t any different. I shut the door and made my way to the hallway when a strong stink filled my nostrils. I immediately thought the worst, I thought that she’d killed herself because she thought I hated her and now I was walking toward a room that contained her decomposing body. I hurriedly opened all the doors in the hallway checking for her body, and then I saw the nursery room door and my stomach dropped. I had skipped past it because I assumed she wouldn’t want people to find her body in such a pretty and happy room given the mood she’d have to be in to kill herself. I opened the door a crack and was nearly knocked backward by the powerful odor. I let the door open the rest of the way as I took a moment to prepare myself for what I’d find.
The room was filthy. The walls had crayon drawings of mad faces and crying faces both of which were scribbled over in black crayon. Several items in the room were broken, a Little Mermaid lamp lay shattered on the floor, pages that had been ripped out of story books were strewn about, and several dresses and outfits lay on the floor in various states of being shredded. Then I saw the diapers. A dozen or so diapers lay on the floor used and open. I realized now that the odor I’d smelt was that of feces that sat on a few of the diapers and from what I could tell just by looking, some of the dresses had been smeared with it, and the floor bore distinct brown handprints in several spots.
“Jesus Christ.” I muttered as I covered my face with my shirt and poked my head into the room. Then I saw Skye in the crib, her back to the door, curled up in a fetal position. “Skye?” I asked causing her to shoot up in the bed with a scream. I nearly had a heart attack when she sprang up screaming, it was like being in a haunted house or something the way she leapt up and turned to face me.
She didn’t say anything after she stopped screaming. She just stared at me while her chest heaved with panicked breathing.
“You scared the **** out of me!” I exclaimed as I struggled to calm my racing heart. “I thought you were dead or something.” I told her. “What happened in here?” I asked.
She surveyed the room from the crib and looked down sullenly. She didn’t say anything; she just kept looking at the floor in front of the crib.
“Skye, I asked you a question.” I said as I took a careful step into the room and toward her.
That’s when I actually saw her. She was as much a mess as the room. Her mouth, cheeks, and hair were smattered with dried food, the same with her chest and stomach. The diaper or rather diapers that she was wearing looked as though they were only a second away from dropping off of her entirely. The front of the diapers was the color of a rotting banana, and I could only assume that the back was filled to capacity given the level of sag the whole thing had to it.
“What happened baby?” I asked as I reached out to stroke her filthy looking hair.
She began to cry. “You left, and you said you weren’t my Daddy, and then you didn’t answer my calls, and I thought you hated me.” She explained, her words fusing together to become one long word that ended in her bawling like a child that’s gotten hurt.
“I’m sorry.” I told her. “I don’t hate you, and I’m sorry I said I wasn’t your Daddy.” I said.
She continued sobbing. “Now you think I’m a freak ‘cause I’m all messy and stinky.” She blubbered.
I lifted her chin up so she could look at me. “I don’t think you’re a freak. I think that you’re a little baby girl that needs her Daddy to take care of her.” I said. Then I looked around the room and back at her. “It certainly looks like a baby tried to take care of herself in here.” I told her. “It also looks like a baby had a temper tantrum.” I added.
She sniffled and nodded. “I’m sorry Daddy.” She said.
I shook my head. “No, but you will be when it comes time to clean this mess up.” I told her. “But first, I think we need to get those saggy full diapers off you before they fall off by themselves, and then you my little stinker need a bath.” I said as I lowered the side of the crib to get her out.
She managed a smile and a small giggle as she finally stopped crying and let me hoist her out of the crib. The second she left the mattress her diapers went sliding down her legs and onto my feet with a dense thud that I could feel through my shoes. She gasped and got a terrified look on her face. “I’m sorry!” she exclaimed as she started to tear up again.
I sighed and kissed her forehead. “Sometimes that happens with babies.” I told her as I set her down on a clear spot on the floor and guided her out the door to the bathroom. I shuddered when I looked down at her butt as she walked in front of me, aside from the mess caked to it I could tell that she had a very bad case of diaper rash that I would have to figure out how to deal with. I was just glad she was alive and well, the rest was just part of being her Daddy which I finally realized was what I wanted.
I started the tub for her and put in some bubble bath to make it nice and happy for her. “Can you be a big girl and get cleaned up while I go and throw out those yucky diapers?” I asked her.
She nodded. “Yes Daddy.” She said.
I smiled at her as she stood there. I couldn’t help myself. Even though I was disgusted by the smell of her and the room she’d come from, and even though I was sure I’d seen cleaner homeless people, I couldn’t help but smile at this girl that, for all the world, was just a sweet and innocent little baby in an adult body. When I looked at her in that moment I didn’t see a grown woman that had been wearing several soiled diapers at the same time for God only knows how long, I saw the little girl inside that had taken over when the grown woman ran away because she was depressed. “Good girl.” I praised her as I shut off the water for the tub and went back to the nursery.
Once all the dirty diapers were bagged up and thrown out I returned to the bathroom to find a much cleaner Skye. She looked like nothing had happened to her as she floated her pink rubber duck across the bubbly water and giggled when she squeezed it and it squeaked loudly in response.
“All clean?” I asked as I entered the room.
She nodded. “All clean Daddy!” she confirmed.
“Good, now let’s get you out of that tub before you shrivel up.” I teased delighting in the giggle she gave. I unplugged the drain and helped her out of the tub before wrapping her up in the large towel hanging on the rack and carrying her out of the bathroom to the nursery.
I set her down on the top of the changing table which caused her to wince. I apologized and quickly dried her off before I positioned her so she was on her stomach on the table with the towel under her. “I know your bottom hurts baby, I think you have a bad diaper rash.” I explained.
She sniffled and nodded. “The diaper rash cream is in the medicine cabinet.” She said.
I went and got the cream and returned and gently applied a generous amount to her reddened backside. She cringed with every touch, but she held in there and rubbed her back gently when I was through. “All done baby, you did great.” I told her.
“Thank you Daddy.” She said as she wiped a few tears from her eyes.
“You’re welcome angel.” I said. “Now what should we put on you?” I asked.
She pushed herself up so she was resting on her elbows and looked back at me. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at me, and then she lay back down on the table.
“Does that mean you don’t know?” I asked.
She continued to just lay there not saying anything.
“Skye, if you really don’t know that’s fine, but if you want something and just don’t want to ask for it that isn’t fine.” I explained. “If you want a diaper just say that.” I added.
She said nothing and put her thumb in her mouth before turning her head to face the wall.
“Alright, you can just lay there naked and cold until you decide you want to tell me what you want.” I said before leaving the room.
I sat on the couch for five minutes before I heard the small smacks of bare feet on the floor coming into the living room. I turned around and watched her walk into the room and to the couch before she climbed onto my lap and curled up like she’d done when I gave her her bottle a few days earlier except that she was naked this time.
She popped her thumb out of her mouth and looked up at me. “Babies don’t know what they want.” She said. “Little girls mostly know exactly what they want and can tell you. Babies need to have decisions made for them, they may not like the choice that’s made for them, but as babies they have no say.” She explained.
“So you’re a baby now?” I asked.
She nodded. “Mostly when I’m little, I’m a little girl, four or five at the oldest. Occasionally I’ll be that same age but with some younger tendencies, maybe I’ll have accidents or eat messier. Every now and then I go full baby, that means I barely talk, I do nothing for myself, and I need someone else to take complete control over me and care for me like they would an actual baby.” She explained.
“So you want me to take over then?” I asked.
She nodded again and put her thumb back in her mouth.
“Alright.” I consented. “But, tomorrow we sit down and have a serious adult discussion. I don’t want you to have to keep explaining how this works to me; I want to just know so that we’re on the same page and don’t end up fighting.” I told her.
She removed her thumb from her mouth. “Let’s do it now.” She said.
“What about being a baby?” I asked.
She leaned up and kissed my cheek. “I’ll be a big girl now if it means I can be your little girl forever.” She said with a smile.
I smiled back. “Deal.” I said. “I do think we need to dress you in something though, otherwise my sentences may not be coherent.” I said looking down at her bare breasts.
She giggled and got up. “I’ll be right back.” She said before she scampered off to get dressed.
XI. Q & A
Skye returned a moment later wearing an oversized white t-shirt. The thing was practically a dress on her as it came down nearly to her knees. I smiled as she sat down in the big round chair next to the couch giving me a brief glimpse of her pink pull-ups as she got comfortable.
“All set?” I asked.
She nodded. “Fire away.” She said with a sweet smile.
I grabbed my notepad and thumbed through a few of the pages before finding the one I wanted to ask first. “Are there any signs I can look for to know how old you are going to act?” I asked.
She thought for a second and then shook her head. “Nothing concrete.” She answered. “I guess you’ll know that I’m going to be younger if I have an accident or suck my thumb or something, but I sometimes just do that.” She explained.
“You actually have accidents?” I asked.
She blushed and nodded. “Not that often, most of my accidents are on purpose.” She said with a small giggle. “Every now and then though I get caught up in what I’m doing and forget to go, and then I have an actual accident.” She said.
“What about number two accidents; do you ever have actual accidents there?” I asked.
She blushed. “Almost never, unless I’m sick or something.” She said.
“Alright.” I said before moving on to my next question. “How do I know when you want to be punished?” I asked.
She laughed at that. “Punishment isn’t about what I want, it’s about me paying the price for being bad.” She said.
“But how do I know what punishment to give you?” I asked. “I don’t think spanking a baby for wetting the bed is fair.” I explained.
“Neither do I.” she said. “But remember that babies wear diapers so that if they do pee while sleeping it doesn’t get the bed wet.” She explained. “If I start the day as an adult and we go to the movies or something and I wet my pants, what would you do?” she asked.
I thought about it and shrugged. “Take you home and diaper you?” I offered.
She shook her head. “Will that teach me a lesson?” she asked.
“It’ll teach you that wetting your pants means you have to wear diapers.” I said.
She laughed again. “I already like wearing diapers.” She said. “So you’ll just be punishing me with something I like.” She explained.
“Then tell me what I should do.” I said. “What’s the right answer?” I asked.
“It’s not a right or wrong situation, it’s a situation that requires a punishment and as the Daddy you decide what to do. The most important thing you need to know is that every punishment you give out is in response to a behavior or action that you feel needs correcting.” She explained.
I nodded. “So, if you wet your pants at the theater then I would tell you how disappointed I was that you couldn’t control yourself and that I was upset that we had to leave because you couldn’t go to the bathroom like an adult.” I explained.
“Good, that works. What happens when we get home?” she asked.
“When we get home I spank you and then diaper you.” I said.
She mused for a moment and made unsatisfied faces. “That’s good for that instance, but what do you do to ensure that I remember the lesson?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Like with a real child, a parent may give a time frame to a punishment, like grounding or something to make sure the kid thinks about what they did rather than breathe easy that the punishment is over.” She explained.
“Alright, I guess I’d make you wear diapers for an extended period of time whether you wanted to or not.” I said.
She nodded. “That’s good, but with me there needs to be a humiliation aspect to the whole thing to drive the point home.” She said. “I’m comfortable with you seeing me in diapers, so that wouldn’t fit as a punishment.” She explained.
“Hmm, I guess I could make you wear a skirt or something that made it so your diaper showed a bit.” I said. “I mean I can’t take you out of the house in just a diaper and a shirt, we’d get arrested.” I said with a laugh.
She blushed and slightly looked away.
“You’ve done that? Are you kidding?” I asked.
“It was one time at a park, I was by myself and nothing happened.” She explained.
I smiled. “I think we’ll continue with the assumption that we’d get arrested.” I told her.
“Fair enough, but I’ll bet you one day you’ll get a wild hair and decide to take me out in a shirt and diaper. When that day comes I expect a little recognition for giving you the idea.” She said with a smile.
“Deal, if that day comes I promise to recognize your contribution.” I said. “Now, how do you talk when you aren’t little? Do you swear a lot?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Hardly ever. I only swear when I’m really angry or when I want to get in trouble.” She said.
I crossed the question off my list. “What do you like when you are being little and we’re in public?” I asked.
“What are you comfortable with?” she asked back.
“I guess I’d need to know what’s in the realm of possibilities before I answered that.” I told her. “Tell me some things you’ve done or would like to do in public, and I’ll tell you if I’m alright with them.” I said.
She took a deep breath. “Honesty.” She said. “I have worn a diaper with no pants, as we just discussed. I’ve wet and messed panties, training panties, and diapers in public. I’ve had my diaper changed in a public restroom on both the changing table and floor. I’ve used pacifiers, bottles, sippy cups, and bibs in public as well as sucking my thumb. I’ve thrown temper tantrums in public and been spanked in public.” She said. “Though that was one time and I was standing up when he did it.” She clarified. “On top of all of that, I’ve had sex in a car, movie theater, hotel pool, and I once gave my boyfriend a blowjob in a maternity ward janitor’s closet while we waited for news on his sister’s baby.” She said with a blush.
I sat in stunned silence for a moment. “Marry me.” I said.
She burst out laughing. “Shut up! I’m sure you’ve had sex in strange places.” She said.
I shook my head. “Only car and bed, and the butt if I misunderstood what you meant by strange place.” I said which got more laughter from both of us.
“So is any of that too much for you?” she asked after we’d both calmed down.
I shrugged. “None of it sounds awful, so I guess, no.” I told her. “I reserve the right to change my mind though.” I added.
“Can do.” She said with a grin.
I flipped through my pages again. “What can I do for you to satisfy your fetish or fetishes?” I asked.
“If you love me let it show.” She said. “When I’m being a little girl show me that I’m your princess. When I’m being a baby nurture me and care for me as if I were a part of you. When I’m being grown up tell me you love me and do nice things for me, I need to hear the words sometimes even if I already know it.” She said. “As for other fetishes, just do what feels right, I’m not picky.” She added.
“What’s the longest you’ve been a full baby?” I asked.
“Six months.” She said.
My mouth dropped open. “Wow, that’s a long time.” I said.
She nodded. “I had met this girl at an AB party, she was a Mommy and she fell in love with me when we met and she lived here for six months and all we did was play Mommy and Baby.” She explained.
“What made it stop?” I asked.
She pointed to herself. “I got freaked out because I actually started forgetting I wasn’t a real baby.” She said. “After she moved out I had to re-potty train myself and learn to be self sufficient again.” She added.
“So you didn’t like it?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I loved it, but too much of a good thing isn’t good. I love the feeling of being a baby and being cared for, but I also love the gratification that comes from knowing that my babyish behavior is in regards mostly to a sexual fetish. When the fetish becomes life then I don’t get that gratification, I’m just a baby and babyish behavior is normal.” She explained.
“Would you do it again?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Would that make you happy?” she asked.
“If it made you happy then yes, but I would never expect you to compromise being yourself for me.” I told her. “I want to do everything I can to nurture your needs as well as make sure we have a good relationship when you aren’t little.” I explained.
She smiled and got up from her chair and came over and hugged me. “That’s all I want.” She whispered in my ear.
I hugged her tightly and then pulled her onto my lap. “Have you eaten today?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I ate yesterday.” She offered.
“I know. You were wearing most of whatever you ate when I found you this morning.” I told her.
She blushed hotly at the reminder of her appearance earlier.
I kissed her forehead. “Do you like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?” I asked.
She nodded vigorously and bounced on my lap a bit.
“Would you like me to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” I asked.
She beamed widely and nodded again.
I hoisted us both up and perched her on my hip and carried her to the kitchen where I set her down on the counter top. “You need a highchair.” I told her as I turned to the fridge to get the ingredients I needed.
She made a high pitched squeal that she barely stifled. “In the closet.” She said as she pointed to the closet near the edge of the dining room.
I smiled and left the fridge to go to the closet door. I opened it and saw a ****en highchair right in front that I pulled out and put at the end of the dining room table and lifted the tray part up to allow her to sit down. “You’ve thought of everything.” I told her as went back into the kitchen and picked her up. “Except for pants, you forgot those.” I teased as I gave her a few pats on the butt.
She winced a bit because of her rash but then giggled.
I set her down in the chair and clipped the belt around her waist before dropping the tray back down in front of her. “There, now I know you won’t misbehave while I’m not looking.” I said before I playfully tweaked her nose and went back to the kitchen.
I managed to find everything I needed after some looking and returned to her with her sandwich with the crusts cut off and extra jelly, the way I liked it when I was a kid, as well as a bib and a sippy cup of apple juice. “Lunch is served my dear.” I said as I set the plate down on her tray and put the bib around her neck.
She wasted no time digging in and within seconds her face, hands, and bib were smeared with purple jelly. She kicked her feet happily as she ate stopping only to take a drink which she did by tilting her head as far back as she could before sucking on the sippy cup. When she had finished her food I marveled at how incredibly messy she’d gotten from just one sandwich and took her plate away after taking her bib off.
“That was yummy!” she declared with a jelly drenched smile.
I wet a paper towel and went to work wiping her face and hands clean. “I’m glad you liked it, I slaved over a hot stove to make it for you.” I said.
She giggled. “No you didn’t, it was a cold sammy.” She said.
“So it was.” I said with a smile. I took a seat on the chair in front of her and pushed the tray up. “Do you need to go potty?” I asked her.
She seemed surprised that I’d asked. “No.” she said after a moment.
“Hmm.” I said as I lifted her shirt up a bit to see her pull-up. The front looked a bit swollen and discolored to me so I gave a small squeeze to it and felt the wetness. “I think maybe you already went potty in your pants.” I said.
She shook her head. “Nuh uh! I’m a big girl and I use the potty.” She said proudly.
“Well there’s definitely some pee in your pull-up and I know I didn’t put it there.” I told her.
She blushed. “Maybe it’s just juice.” She offered.
I shook my head. “I think it used to be juice, but then it turned into pee after it was inside you for a bit.” I said.
“Oh.” She said simply, unsure of how she could argue with that point.
“I think maybe we should have you wear diapers for a bit until you’re ready for pull-ups.” I told her.
She looked at me with the most pitiful face, a face that would be reserved for a beloved pet dying or something. “But I’m ready now Daddy.” She said as she stuck her bottom lip out.
I patted her head gently. “If you were ready you wouldn’t have gone potty in your pants, you would have told me you needed to go and I would have taken you.” I explained.
“But Daddy!” she whined.
“No ‘but Daddy’, you’re not ready for the responsibility of potty training, end of story.” I said firmly. “Now I want you to be a good girl and listen to Daddy when he tells you that you need to go back to diapers for a while.” I explained.
She began to tear up and sniffled. “But I wanna be a big girl.” She said sadly.
I kissed her on the top of her head. “You will be one day honey, but for now you’re just a little baby that needs her diapers.” I told her.
She shook her head. “No, I’m a big girl!” she shouted.
I lifted her out of the chair and carried her back to the nursery as she began to throw a temper tantrum. She kicked her legs and wiggled around in my arms whining and crying that she was “a big girl and didn’t need diapers”. I set her down on the changing table and quickly found her pacifier before popping it into her mouth.
She spit the pacifier out and giggled. “Not a baby!” she shouted.
I put the pacifier back in her mouth and held it there for a moment. “If that leaves your mouth without my permission I’ll spank your butt and then diaper you.” I warned.
She instantly stopped her tantrum and sullenly sucked her pacifier knowing that a spanking on her already injured bottom would be nearly unbearable. I let go of the pacifier and pulled her shirt off of her before laying her down on her back and removing her sodden pull-up. “Look, these are nearly soaked.” I told her holding the garment to her face so she could see as well as smell the accident she’d had.
She turned crimson and looked away as she continued to suck her pacifier, resigned to the fate that awaited her.
I gathered several cloth diapers from the shelf under the changing table and after some inspection figured out that they were Velcro and went on just like the disposables she had. I took my time laying out the diapers and lifting her butt up by holding her ankles before sliding them under her. She looked down toward the diapers when she felt how many were there and I nearly started laughing when I saw her surprise. I wiped her clean and then put her rash cream on again before topping the whole thing off with a dusting of powder. Then I started affixing the ten diapers I’d gathered, it was a little tough to get the last few in place because of the bulk, but I managed to pull them into place with a little elbow grease.
She looked up at me with apologetic eyes.
“Almost done.” I said as I reached under the table and grabbed a disposable diaper and began unfolding it.
Her eyes went wide and she began to suck her pacifier harder.
I put the disposable diaper on over the cloth ones and secured the tapes. Then I took a step back to admire my job. Her legs were spread apart surprisingly far because of the bulk all the layers carried. “Now my baby is dressed more appropriately.” I said patting the crotch of her diapers firmly. If my eyes had been closed I would have thought I was patting a mattress by the sound it produced. I leaned forward and pulled her pacifier from her mouth. “What do you have to say now?” I asked.
She looked away and said nothing.
I picked her up and set her down on her bottom on the floor in front of the mirrored closet doors. “What do you see?” I asked as I turned her head toward the mirror.
She looked at her reflection in silence taking in the splayed legged form that sat a good deal higher than the floor because of the extra padding encasing her butt. “A baby.” She mumbled sullenly.
“I’m sorry, I missed that. What are you?” I asked.
She looked down at her diapers. “A baby.” She said clearer than before.
I nodded. “That’s right, and since you clearly have trouble accepting that fact, I think you can spend the next twenty-four hours in those diapers.” I told her.
She looked up at me stunned. “No Daddy, that’s too long.” She whined.
I put her pacifier back in her mouth. “One more complaint and it’ll be forty-eight hours.” I threatened.
She remained silent and sucked her pacifier.
“Now, since you are a baby for at least the next twenty-four hours, I’m going to stay here and take care of you. If I hear any whining or complaining from you in that time then I restart the timer. If I hear anything other than baby talk from you the timer starts over. Until those diapers are removed by me you will not be able to walk or crawl, you’ll either be carried by me or you’ll have to wriggle on your belly or roll like a baby would.” I explained. “Are you understanding all these rules so far baby?” I asked.
She nodded as she looked up at me.
“Good. Now, I’ll put you to bed at eight tonight so you can get plenty of rest for when we go out tomorrow.” I told her.
She again looked shocked at the mention of going out.
“That’s right baby, we’re gonna go out to the store and buy you a toy that you can have if you are a good baby. If you aren’t a good baby then we’ll have to go back to the store and you can explain why we’re bringing it back.” I explained.
I knew I was laying things on a little thick, but I genuinely wanted to see how submissive she could get. I knew that if I reached a point where she wasn’t comfortable she’d let me know, so I felt free to explore the space I’d been given.
“I think since it’s such a nice day we can just let you go without a shirt.” I said. “Not that you have anything but tiny baby boobies to show off anyway.” I teased giving her breasts a little squeeze.
She burned with shame and looked away from me.
“Aww don’t be sad honey, I’m sure someday you’ll have real boobies just like a grown up lady.” I told her. I was glad she was still comfortable, but I started to worry I may really hurt her feelings if I kept pushing. “Does it hurt your feelings when Daddy makes fun of your boobies?” I asked as I guided her by the chin to look at me once again.
She nodded and tried to look away but I stopped her.
“Does it make you excited when Daddy makes fun of your boobies?” I asked.
She nodded again, slower this time and with her patented blush.
Inside I breathed a sigh of relief that I was doing good by her, genuinely glad that I hadn’t gone too far. I picked her up off the floor and hugged her to me as I supported her padded butt with both arms. “I think we need to get some more juice and food into your tummy so you can get started on wetting and messing all these diapers.” I said as I gently patted her butt.
She hugged me tightly as I carried her out of the room, and I knew that she was as happy as I was with the situation.
I'm loving this story so far, looking forward to more :D I love how she's completely unpredictable, it's like she has a split personality. Very interesting and unique
Thank you very much Euphoria, I'm very glad that you like my work! :D I hope that I can continue to provide good content for you and anyone else reading!
Originally Posted by Euphoria
XII. Full Collapse
I cradled her on the couch as she drank down her sixth bottle of apple juice. She showed signs of slowing down because she was getting full, but I kept the bottle in her mouth giving her no option but to finish the liquid inside. When she had finally drained it completely I set the bottle down on the coffee table and sat her up so she was facing over my shoulder. I started patting her back firmly but gently, and after a dozen or so pats she released a loud belch before sighing and resting her head on my shoulder.
“I’ll bet that feels better doesn’t it little one?” I asked.
She nodded her head made a contented sigh.
As I sat there holding her, bouncing her gently up and down like you’d do with a real baby, I suddenly realized that I was bored. Now, I loved taking care of her, that wasn’t the problem, it’s just that something was missing throughout this interaction. I stopped bouncing her and pulled her back so she could look at me. “What’s missing?” I wondered to myself as I looked into her eyes.
She looked back into mine and smiled at me.
That was when I realized that I was missing her. I had her body, but not her personality. She hadn’t said a word since we’d left the nursery, and I knew that I was the reason for that. I’d stripped her of any adult luxury she could have and now I was just left with a husk of the girl I wanted. I didn’t want to go back in my rulings though for fear that doing so would make her think I didn’t like her as a baby.
“Skye I want you to tell me something that you’ve never done as a baby that you want to do.” I told her.
She looked thoughtful for a moment and then shook her head.
“Why not?” I asked.
She reached back and patted her diapered butt and furrowed her brow.
“You won’t tell me because you don’t want the time to restart on your punishment?” I asked.
“I’m giving you permission to talk like a big girl so you can answer me.” I explained.
She looked at me as though she was expecting me to trap her into getting into trouble. “I dunno.” She said finally.
I smiled at her cuteness. “Daddy wants to do something with his baby but he isn’t sure what to do. Can you help Daddy?” I asked.
She thought for a moment and then smiled. “Big girl.” She said.
“You wanna be a big girl again?” I asked.
She nodded. “Panties.” She chirped eagerly.
“Why do you wanna be a big girl and wear panties?” I asked.
She looked at me seductively and started rubbing the front of her diaper and panting.
“You want panties because you’re horny?” I asked.
She bit her lower lip and nodded. “Horny!” she cried out.
I smiled at her put my hand on the front of her diapers. “I’ll bet all that padding makes it impossible to feel anything down there doesn’t it?” I asked.
She nodded and stuck her lower lip out. “Panties?” she asked hopefully.
“But diapers seem like a much better fit for you.” I told her.
She shook her head vigorously. “No, I’m a big girl.” She said.
“Big girls don’t wet themselves like you did earlier.” I said. “And I don’t think big girls eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in highchairs.” I added.
She was silent for a moment as she thought of an argument. “Daddy made me.” She said with a pout.
I looked at her disapprovingly. “Did Daddy make you wet your training pants? Did Daddy make you eat like a baby and get jelly all over your hands and face?” I asked.
She reddened and shook her head. “No, but you didn’t give me a chance to go potty.” She said sadly.
“Big girls know when they have to go potty and they say something if they can’t get to the potty by themselves. You didn’t do either of those things.” I explained.
“I wanna be a big girl.” She whined adding a frustrated growl to the end of her declaration.
I pulled her off my lap and set her on the floor. “Alright, if you want to be a big girl then go get changed into your panties and big girl clothes.” I told her.
She looked puzzled and just stood there.
“I don’t think you’re ready for panties, but if you think you are then go put them on.” I said.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked cutely.
I shook my head. “Of course not sweetheart, I want you to be happy. If you think you can wear panties and not have an accident then go put some panties on.” I told her. “But, if you do and then have an accident you’ll be in very big trouble and I promise that you won’t like the punishment you get.” I added.
She stood there staring at me weighing her options.
“Well, are you a baby or a big girl?” I asked her after she seemed to have stalled in her decision.
She sighed dejectedly and sat down on the floor. “Baby.” She said sadly.
“Stop pouting.” I told her.
“I’m horny.” She whined.
I inhaled sharply. “Babies don’t get horny.” I told her.
“Well I’m horny, so I must not be a baby.” She said snottily.
“Careful. That sounds like the kind of tone that earns spankings.” I warned.
She sighed loudly. “You won’t spank me, you’re too afraid of hurting me.” She said sounding almost sad that she wouldn’t get spanked.
I nodded. “You’re right, that diaper rash is so bad I think you might pass out if I spank you.” I said. “But, if you want to have a bad attitude I can just put you to bed right now.” I told her.
She looked up at me and smiled mischievously. “The second you leave me alone I’m gonna take care of my horniness by myself.” She said.
“Fine.” I told her. “Feel free to handle that, but you’ll only be proving my point that you’re a little baby that can’t control herself.” I said.
She growled angrily. “You’re being unfair.” She whined.
“No, you’re being a spoiled brat.” I said. “You have nobody to blame but yourself for the situation you’re in, but rather than take your medicine you want to argue and try to talk your way out of your predicament.” I added.
“What I want is for you to stop treating me like a baby and fuck me!” she screamed.
I got up from the couch without saying a word and pulled her up from the floor by her hand. I dragged her to the bathroom and grabbed the bar of soap from the dish by the sink and sat her down on the lid of the toilet. “Open your mouth.” I ordered sternly.
She folded her arms and pursed her lips as she shook her head.
“You have two choices, you can open your mouth and accept your punishment or I can lock you outside dressed as you are.” I told her.
She glared up at me. “You wouldn’t…” she started to say but was quickly silenced as I stuffed the bar of soap in her mouth.
“Spit that out and you’ll find out whether I will or won’t.” I threatened.
She looked tempted to test me, but then thought better of it and left the soap in her mouth.
“When you’re ready to apologize to me for swearing then you can take the soap out.” I told her.
She immediately spat the soap out onto the floor. “I’m sorry I cursed at you Daddy.” She said as she looked up at me with a soapy pout.
“Good girl.” I praised as I picked up the soap from the floor and guided her to the sink so she could rinse her mouth out.
With the soapy residue cleaned from her mouth Skye followed behind me as I led her by the hand to the nursery. She began to balk as I went to the crib and lowered the side but she stopped any and all complaints when I turned and looked at her with a very serious expression. I lifted her in and as soon as she was away from the edge I lifted the railing to coral her.
“I’m sorry Daddy, please don’t make me take a nap.” She whined as she looked at me through the bars with pleading eyes.
I shook my head. “I think a nap is exactly what you need.” I told her. “And don’t even think about touching yourself.” I warned before I left the room and closed the door behind me.
I could hear her whining as I went back to the living room, but couldn’t muster the energy to go back and silence her. I sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh and took an honest assessment of where things stood. On the one hand I was with Skye, but on the other hand I was totally conflicted with what I thought I should be doing with her and what I thought she wanted me to do. I rubbed my temples as a strong headache took hold of me. I closed my eyes and lay my head back against the top of the couch. I knew what I needed to do but I was finding it harder and harder to do it.
“I need to tell her that I’m not sure I can do this.” I thought. Then I thought about what she’d done when I left her the last time. I needed to set things straight with her but I was so afraid that she’d snap and do something worse to herself. I sighed again and stood up from the couch.
As I got to my feet the room started to spin. I felt like my eyes were swirling in their sockets and I lurched forward a bit as I tried to get to the sink in the kitchen and splash some water on my face. I started to feel extremely nauseous as my steps became more erratic. I felt a tickle in my nose that came down my upper lip. I absently wiped my nose with the back of my hand and saw the blood streak on it when it came into view. I started to yell to Skye when my knees buckled and I collapsed head first onto the linoleum floor of the kitchen. As darkness overtook my vision I thought of Skye and hoped she had heard my body hit the ground.
I hope that no new comments doesn't mean that interest in the story has decreased. :)
XIII. Darkest Before the Dawn
I heard a thud on the other side of the nursery wall and quickly pulled my hand from my diaper in case Sam was headed in to check on me. When he didn’t come in I stood up in the crib and called out to him a few times. When he didn’t answer I started to feel uneasy and lowered the crib rails and climbed out. I waddled out of the nursery and to the living room where I saw Sam’s legs on the ground coming from the kitchen.
“Sam!” I shouted as I hurried to him.
As I reached him I felt a cold chill run up my spine. He had a blood streak on his upper lip and his nose was still trickling blood. I put my hands on his shoulder and gently shook him. He groaned quietly and said something quietly that I couldn’t understand. I stood up and went to my room to grab my phone; I opened it and hurriedly dialed 911. I gave the man that answered my address and told him about Sam and he told me that an ambulance would arrive shortly.
Panic started to set in as I closed my phone and tossed it onto the bed. I hurriedly stripped off my diapers and went to the nursery to wipe myself clean. When I felt I was clean enough I grabbed a pull up and slid it on before going to my room and quickly dressing myself in more appropriate attire. I grabbed my phone off the bed and stuck it in my pocket before slipping my flip flops on and racing back to Sam.
“Sam, an ambulance is coming, just hang on.” I told him as I stroked his hair.
I started crying as I sat there next to him. My fear that something horrible was wrong with him and that I was powerless to do anything to help overtook me and I began to sob uncontrollably. I heard the ambulance siren a short time later and quickly got up and ran to the door and throwing it open for the paramedics. Everything from that point on moved so quickly it was mostly a blur. I remember the paramedics asking me a few questions which I’m not sure I answered. I remember watching them put Sam onto a stretcher and wheel him out the door. One of the paramedics told me what hospital they were going to before he left, and then I was alone.
I realized that I’d been sucking my thumb for some time since I’d opened the front door for the medics. I pulled the digit from my mouth and shook the cobwebs from my mind and grabbed my purse. I went and stuffed a few extra pull ups into it before I grabbed my keys and left the house for the hospital. I chastised myself for sucking my thumb the whole way to the hospital, I was angry with myself for not being strong enough to keep from regressing when Sam needed me to be big and responsible.
Four hours went by at the hospital before someone finally came to talk to me. I had asked the nurse at the desk for information about Sam a few dozen times but got nowhere with her because I wasn’t family. When the doctor finally came to get me he explained that Sam was fine and needed to stay at least overnight for observation and rest.
“He was asking about you.” The doctor said. “You can see him for just a few minutes, but then he has to rest.” He explained.
We went to Sam’s room and I had to fight every urge in my body to keep from leaping onto the bed and wrapping my arms around him. I waited till the doctor left and then rushed to the side of the bed and pelted Sam with kisses. “Are you alright?” I asked worriedly.
Sam nodded. “They say that I fainted because I haven’t slept in a few days and haven’t eaten in a day or so.” He explained with a look of guilt.
“You can’t do that.” I told him. “I need you.” I added.
“I know, I’m sorry.” He said. “They said they’re going to give me something to knock me out for a while and run some tests before they let me go.” He explained.
I took his hand in mine. “Is there anything I can do for you?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I was going to talk with you before this all happened.” He started. His face turned serious and he put his other hand on top of mine. “I don’t know that I can be what you want me to be.” He said.
“You don’t want to be my Daddy?” I asked in disbelief.
He shook his head. “I do, I’m just not sure I can be so that you’re happy.” He said.
“I’m just happy that you even want to.” I told him as I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
Sam sighed and wiped the tear away. “I just feel like everything has been moving so fast between us and that I’m in over my head when it comes to being your Daddy. I feel like I don’t know when to listen to you when you say you want something and when I need to be the authority figure and lay down the law.” He explained.
“That’s my fault, not yours.” I told him. “I was just so excited that you were there to play the game with me that I didn’t consider that you didn’t know the rules.” I said.
“So what do we do?” he asked.
I leaned down and kissed his hand. “We work on it.” I said. “We slow things down between us and work on making you feel more at ease with everything, if you want that.” I said.
He nodded. “I want to be with you. I want to be the best Daddy you could ever ask for, but I need time to get to that point.” He explained. He looked around the room and leaned in close to me, “Don’t tell anyone this, but I think I might love you.” He whispered.
I blushed and giggled. “I think I might love you too.” I whispered back. “But not if you’re gonna end up in the hospital for stupid reasons.” I said with a pout.
He patted my hand gently. “I promise that I’ll make my problem more serious the next time I go to the hospital.” He teased.
A nurse came in and informed me that I needed to leave and practically shoved me out the door before I could give Sam a kiss and a hug. I managed to do both despite her standing behind me with her hands on her hips with an impatient scowl on her face. I left the room and went home happy that I was loved. When I got home I cleaned up the small bit of blood on the kitchen floor and settled down on the couch for a nap.
I had a dream that Sam died. He was taking care of me and had put me down for a nap and then left the room. Though I didn’t see him die I somehow knew that he had. The strange part of the dream was that I couldn’t stop being a baby. Even after I knew Sam was gone and all I wanted to do was see him one last time, all I could do was lie on my back in the crib and suck on my fingers and toes.
I woke up crying. As I sat up I discovered that I’d flooded my pull up in my sleep and leaked all over the couch and my jeans. My accident made me cry harder as I realized that Sam wasn’t there to console me. I sat there in the dark crying for a long time, unable to get control of my emotions no matter how hard I tried. Every time I started to feel alright again I’d think about Sam and remind myself of my dream and fresh tears would come.
When I managed to calm down I went to the nursery and changed out of my wet clothes and into a diaper before climbing into the crib. I lay on my back in the dark looking up at the mobile overhead. I hated that I had fallen apart and reverted to being a baby, but it was the only thing that made me calm. I ended up crying myself to sleep in the crib wishing that Sam was with me. When I woke up again it was early in the morning and the sun was just starting to shine through the window in the nursery. I climbed out of the crib and padded out to the living room to check my phone to see if Sam had called. As I entered the living room I heard my phone chime signaling I had a voicemail message.
“Hi Skye, umm as it turns out, I’m not alright.” Sam said his voice hoarse and sad sounding like he’d been crying. “I don’t want to do this on the phone, so when you get this could you please come to the hospital so we can talk.” He said. “I love you.” He added before the message ended.
I dropped my phone and fell onto my butt on the couch. I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. My mind raced as to what could be wrong with him, and became horribly worried when I thought of how he sounded. “He’s dying.” I thought. Everything faded away as I sat there in shock. After a while I got up and got dressed, my body was running on auto pilot as my mind had completely checked out. I numbly went through the motions of putting my clothes on, not even removing the diaper I’d slept in. I grabbed my phone and purse and left the house, driving to the hospital without any conscious thought paid to navigating through traffic. I finally arrived at the hospital and got to Sam’s room before my brain came back.
Sam sat up in the bed when he saw me, his eyes were red and puffy confirming my suspicion that he’d been crying. He held his arms open and wrapped them around me when I got to him. I finally broke down and sobbed uncontrollably into his chest as he held me and rubbed my back to calm me. I could hear him crying through my sobs and that made me cry harder. We finally managed to calm down enough for me to sit down next to the bed so Sam could explain what was going on.
“They found a tumor.” He said quietly. “It’s somewhere in my brain, they think they can operate and remove it, but they have to run more tests before they can be sure.” He explained.
I started crying again as I took his hand. “I’m sorry.” I managed to choke out between sobs.
He feigned a smile. “Me too.” He said. “I called my mom and told her last night, her and my sister are coming here.” He explained. “They’ll probably be here by this afternoon.” He added.
I nodded. “That’s good though, right?” I asked.
Sam took a deep breath in through his nose and exhaled sharply. “I’m glad my sister is coming.” He said. “I know that my mom is going to be unbearable to be around.” He added.
I squeezed his hand. “I’ll be here.” I said.
“No.” he said. “I don’t want you anywhere near my mom.” He said.
“I think I can handle her.” I told him with a smile.
Sam shook his head. “Seriously, I care about you too much to have you deal with her.” He said. “She’ll bombard you with questions and belittle our relationship and I know that it’ll upset you, so I need for you to just go home and when she’s gone you can come back.” He told me.
“I’m not going to run and hide just because your mom is a bitch.” I told him. “The man I love is in the hospital with a brain tumor and I’ll be goddamned if I’m not going to be by his side.” I said.
“This isn’t up for negotiation Skye, for your own good I need you to do what I tell you.” He said firmly.
My crying came roaring back. “What if you die? What if I’m not here when that happens, how am I supposed to live with that?” I asked. “Fuck your mother, I’m staying.” I told him.
Sam sighed. “Alright, but try and avoid being alone with her, my sister should be able to keep her in check.” He explained.
I was able to stay with him for a little while before he was taken away for some tests. I went to the waiting room and sat there watching the TV while I waited for someone to tell me I could go back and see Sam. I must have lost track of time because I was soon approached by a young girl.
“Skye?” she asked.
I nodded. She was very pretty, and I was unsure why she was approaching me.
“I’m Emily, Sam’s sister.” She said after seeing my puzzled look.
I quickly stood up. “Hi Emily, it’s nice to meet you.” I told her. I could tell she’d been crying as I looked into her bloodshot brown eyes. Despite her age she was a few inches taller than me, and considerably more well endowed in the chest. I suddenly realized that I was still wearing a wet diaper under my jeans, and became incredibly self conscious.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” She said. “I just wish it were under better circumstances.” She added sadly.
I nodded and shifted my weight a bit to hide the fact that I was diapered. “Sam told me that I should stick close to you so your mom doesn’t get a hold of me.” I told her.
She smiled revealing little dimples. “Yeah, that’s probably a really good idea.” She said.
An older woman walked up behind Emily and looked at me as though I had a second head growing out of my neck. “Can I help you?” she asked as she put a protective arm around her daughter.
“Oh, I’m Skye.” I said. The woman looked at me nonplussed.
“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” she asked.
I felt my diaper grow wetter and my face flush. “I’m Sam’s girlfriend.” I said.
The woman looked me up and down. “Hmm, well I appreciate your concern, but Sam needs to be with his family right now, so why don’t you just run along.” She said coldly.
“Mother.” Emily said. “If she’s important to Sam then she deserves to be here.” She scolded.
The woman glared at Emily. “Don’t take that tone with me young lady.” She said. “I’m the adult here, and I’m telling this girl that she can go home.” She explained to her daughter.
I swallowed hard to keep from crying. “With all due respect Mrs. Roosevelt, I love your son and I’m not going anywhere.” I said, trying to sound as strong as I could.
“You love him?” she asked before scoffing. “I don’t think a girl your age knows what love is, sweetie.” She said condescendingly.
I started to defend myself but was cut off by the woman that seemed out for blood.
“Someone will call you when more is known about my son’s condition.” She said dismissively.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes and turned and ran off. I hurried into a restroom down the hall and rushed into one of the stalls before I broke down. I sat on the toilet crying and kicking myself for letting that horrible woman belittle me.
“Skye? Are you in here?” Emily asked as she entered the bathroom and heard my crying.
I sniffled and wiped my eyes. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a second.” I answered trying to sound like I wasn’t crying.
“I’m sorry about that.” Emily said. “My mom isn’t exactly the warmest person in the world.” She explained. “For what it’s worth, I know that Sam wants you here.” She said. “I could tell when I talked to him last night that he cared a lot about you.” She added.
I sniffled again. “What did he say about me?” I asked.
“He told me what you looked like, and that he knew I’d like you.” She said. “He said that you guys haven’t known each other for long, but that you were a really sweet person and that he loved spending time with you.” She explained.
I composed myself and unlocked and opened the stall door. I smiled when I saw Emily. “Thanks for coming to check on me.” I said.
“No problem.” She said with a warm smile.
“What should I do about your mom?” I asked.
Emily smiled again. “Ignore her, it’s what I do.” She said with a chuckle.
I giggled with her. “Alright.” I told her. “I can do that.” I added.
Emily’s smile faded and she got a concerned look on her face. “Skye, did you have an accident?” she asked as she looked down at my pants.
I followed her gaze and looked down to see that my diaper had leaked and a half dollar size wet spot had formed on the crotch of my jeans and two dark trails were coming from that spot down my inseam. “Oh no!” I cried out.
“I know my mom can be intimidating, but I didn’t think she was that scary.” Emily said.
I blushed hotly. “It wasn’t your mom, it was me being stupid.” I told her.
Emily looked confused. “How is you having an accident you being stupid?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Nevermind, I just need to go home and change.” I told her as I started to cry again.
Emily looked at me with pity and walked over and hugged me. “It’s alright Skye, accidents happen.” She told me as she held me to her.
Now I know this is going to sound weird, but in that moment I suddenly felt like Sam was holding me. Not completely the same, but I felt small and cared for like when he held me. Something about this teenage girl that was more adult looking than me hugging me and consoling me for having an accident made me feel like a little girl being hugged by her big sister. My baby side kicked in and I cuddled to her desperately and shuddered as relaxed and released the rest of my bladder into my already soaked diaper feeling more wetness trickle down my legs.
Emily stopped hugging me and pulled me back from her. She clearly knew something was up with me as she looked at me for a moment. “You just peed more while I was hugging you, didn’t you?” she asked.
I fought the urge to suck my thumb and confirm her suspicions and shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I told her with an uncontrolled blush.
“Well, your pants look wetter and there’s pee on the floor that wasn’t there before.” She said as she pointed to the floor.
I looked down and saw the small puddle at my feet and gave up the fight. I stuck my thumb in my mouth and started crying before I turned and headed back into the stall I’d come from. Emily was faster than me though, and managed to get the door open before I could lock it.
“What’s going on Skye?” Emily asked as she looked down at me sucking my thumb in soaked pants.
That was it, the straw that broke the camel’s back. The weight of all the pressure and stress I’d gone through recently broke any remaining adulthood I had left in me, and I broke into sobs as I explained everything to Emily. I told her about how Sam and I met, I confessed my secret life to her, and I bared my soul with no regard to the consequences. When I’d finished telling her everything I resumed sucking my thumb as I waited for her to say something.
“Wow.” She said stunned. “That’s quite a tale.” She said.
I remained silent as I sat on the toilet and looked up at her. I felt so small sitting there, as though I’d actually turned into a baby and this girl was a full grown adult, which given my current state she was in comparison.
Emily knelt in front of me and stroked my hair gently. “If it were up to me I’d take you home and get you sorted out.” She said with a smile. “But I really don’t think my mom would like her sixteen year old daughter going to a grown woman’s house to change that woman’s diaper.” She explained with a pitying look. “I’m sorry Skye.” She added.
I nodded. “I unnerstand.” I said sadly with my thumb still firmly planted in my mouth.
Emily smiled. “For what it’s worth I think you’re adorable, and I hope that you and my brother get married some day so I can have a little sister to play with.” She told me as she pinched my cheek gently.
The bathroom door opened. “Emily, are you in here?” Emily’s mother called out.
Emily put her finger to her lips to signify she wanted me to keep quiet. “Yes mother, I’m having explosive diarrhea if that’s alright with you.” She said snottily.
Her mother said nothing and left the bathroom.
I stifled a giggle until I heard the door close and then I let the laughter come.
“That’s how you deal with her.” Emily said.
I nodded. “Wish I’d thought of that.” I told her.
Emily smiled. “I think you need to avoid any kind of discussions about bodily functions with her.” She said as she looked down at my wet pants.
I blushed and nodded. “You’re probably right; I doubt she’d be as understanding as you.” I told her.
Emily shook her head. “She’d probably have a heart attack if she knew the truth about you.” She said before she looked like she was considering that outcome. “I’m sure there’s a downside in there that I’m not seeing.” She said after a moment.
I giggled again and stood up before hugging her tightly. “Thank you Emily.” I told her.
She hugged me back tightly. “Anytime honey.” She said.
We broke our embrace and Emily opened the stall door. “I’ll keep my mom busy while you slip out of here and go home to change. Come back when you’re done and we’ll keep each other company while we wait for news about Sam.” She said.
I nodded. “I’d like that.” I told her.
Before she left she gave me a pat on the butt. “Make sure you bring something to change into.” She said with a playful smile. “Just in case.” She added before she left the room.
I stood in the bathroom for a moment feeling lucky that I’d come out of a potentially horrible experience unscathed and one friend richer. I smiled and felt happy for the first time that day before I moved to the door and sneaked out to go home and change.
awwwwww that was so sweet of emily. I just know she is going to be a wonderful big sister to Skye. Please keep writing. Ive read your story ever since you posted the first few chapters. please keep going.
Oh, I wasn't thinking of not writing anymore, I just wasn't sure if people were still enjoying what was being written. I am glad to see that people are! :) Thank you for your support Alice!
Originally Posted by MommiesBabyAlice
XIV. Catch a Falling Skye
Home didn’t feel as empty as I walked inside after my talk with Emily. I still had worries and fears about Sam, but they seemed to feel less intense then they had earlier. I was starting to feel like he would be alright, that even though he had a serious medical condition he’d pull through and we’d work things out between us and I’d end up having a younger big sister and a Daddy.
I went to the bathroom and stripped out of my clothes and popped the tapes on my overworked diaper and let it fall to the floor before I got in the shower and let the hot water wash away my tensions and the acrid stink of pee, the diaper had given me. I decided while I was in the shower that I wasn’t going to latch onto Emily when I saw her next. I liked her and I knew that we could be good friends, but I also had to remember that she was sixteen and I was twenty-five. The last thing I wanted was for her insane mother to accuse me of corrupting her teenage daughter or something and tear down the relationship I was trying to build with Sam in the process.
After I got out of the shower and dried off I considered not wearing another diaper. I wanted to wear panties and show Emily that I wasn’t just an overgrown baby that I had an adult side as well so that she could see the other reason why her brother was attracted to me.
My brain works differently than other people’s brains. Where an average person would make a decision and follow through with it, I come up with an idea of my own and then end up feeling that it isn’t right because a person I view as “older” than me told me to do something contrary to it. That’s the reason why I climbed onto the changing table and diapered myself, because Emily, a girl who’s nine years younger than me but I view as more adult than myself told me to. I felt a sense of pride as I hopped off the changing table with a clean diaper on, pride that I was a good girl for doing as I was told.
I finished getting dressed in a new pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt, and then paused as I tried to decide whether or not to pack some extra diapers. Again, I obeyed Emily and packed my “diaper bag”. The canvas bag that I used didn’t look like a diaper bag; it looked like a small duffel bag but if you looked inside you’d know exactly what it was. Inside the bag were three extra diapers, a container of baby powder, and a package of wipes, a pair of pants, and a pacifier. I thought about putting some pull ups in the bag, but figured the diapers were a better choice. I zipped up the bag with a satisfied sigh and went back to the hospital.
Lydia, Sam’s mother, was the first person I saw when I stepped out of the elevator. I was glad I’d left my diaper bag in the car because I honestly wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t search it. She gave me an icy glare which I’m sure came about because she thought she’d gotten rid of me. I moved to get off the elevator but was stopped by Lydia who held up her hand to keep me from exiting and then joined me inside.
“Why are you here?” She asked once the doors had closed and we started moving.
“Because I love your son and I’m worried about him.” I told her my heart beating faster as I got angrier.
“I told you that he needs his family right now, not some girl he’s fucking.” She spat.
I turned to face her and saw the hatred in her eyes; I was taken aback for a second but quickly recovered. “For your information, I’m not just some girl he’s fucking; I’m the girl he loves. You’d save yourself a lot of stress if you just accepted that and let this whole thing go.” I told her.
She pushed the button to stop the elevator. “Listen to me you little twat, my son is upstairs right now with a brain tumor and I don’t know whether he’s going to live or not, so I call the shots when it comes to who stays and who doesn’t.” she said.
I sighed. “I’m sorry that your son may be dying, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like ****! I’m more family to him then you are you petty bitch!” I shouted.
Lydia’s eyes went wide with surprise and then shrank to slivers as she glared at me before she slapped me hard across the face. “How dare you! I am a good mother!” she screamed.
Her slap had sent me tumbling back into the wall of the elevator and onto my butt. I sat on the floor looking up at her with tears of rage burning in my eyes. “Yeah, blaming him for your daughter getting raped and cutting him out of your life is a real Mother of the Year move!” I scoffed.
Lydia hauled me up from the floor and slammed me against the wall of the elevator knocking the breath out of me. “You don’t know anything about me or my family!” she screamed in my face before letting me go and sending me crashing to the floor in a breathless heap. She pressed the button to start the elevator again, “When we get to the ground floor I want to see you pick yourself up and walk out of here, and I don’t want to see you again.” She said.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I wheezed.
Lydia turned and lifted me to my feet. “You will if you don’t want me to tell the police that you molested my daughter in the bathroom.” She whispered in my ear.
I looked up at her stunned. “I didn’t-“ I started to say before she cut me off.
“I know that you went in there and then she followed and you two were in there for quite a while doing God knows what.” She said. “Leave and don’t come back or I’ll see to it that you’re locked up.” She threatened.
The elevator stopped on the ground floor and the doors opened. I looked up at Lydia again and then looked at the floor as I left the elevator and the hospital before getting to my car and breaking down. I cried and screamed and slapped the steering wheel angrily as I sat there stewing in my thoughts about what a vile and vicious human being Lydia was. A tap on my passenger side window broke my outburst and I looked up to see Emily standing there. I unlocked the door and she opened it and got in.
“My mom got to you didn’t she?” she asked.
I nodded. “She said she’d accuse me of molesting you in the bathroom if I didn’t leave.” I cried.
Emily sighed and put her arm around me. “I’m sorry Skye.” She said. “Ever since what happened to me she’s been pretty crazy when it comes to protecting her kids from people she doesn’t know.” She explained.
“But I’m a good person, I make Sam happy.” I whined as I cried freely.
“I know that, and Sam knows that, but my mom doesn’t and I don’t think she’s willing to try and hear it.” She explained.
“So what do I do?” I asked her. “Do I leave not knowing if Sam is going to be okay? Or do I stay and face being arrested because your mom is crazy?” I asked her.
She sighed again. “Go home.” She said. “I’ll try and talk some sense into her and see if she’ll calm down enough to allow you back up there. In the meantime, you can wait for me to call you as soon as I know something about Sam.” She told me.
I nodded and sniffled. “Okay.” I said sadly.
“Please don’t be sad Skye.” Emily said. “I know this situation sucks, but it’ll only feel worse if you let sadness take over.” She said before leaning over and hugging me before she left the car.
I waited until my vision wasn’t clouded with tears and then I drove home. I managed to drag myself into the house and let my diaper bag fall to the floor next to the front door before I trudged back to the nursery and took off my pants and climbed into the crib. I held my phone tightly as I lay in a fetal position staring through the bars of the crib waiting for the phone to ring. I thought about Sam and how much I missed him, I thought about Emily and how much I missed her, and I thought about Lydia and how much I wanted to hit her with my car. I thought about a lot of things as I lay there, the only thing I didn’t think about was being sad.
The phone rang a few hours later and I sat up and opened it eagerly. “Hello!” I answered hopeful that Emily was calling with good news.
“Hi Skye, it’s Emily.” The voice on the other end of the line said warmly. “I wanted to let you know that Sam is probably going to be fine. The doctor said that his tumor isn’t cancerous and it’s operable and that they’re almost a hundred percent sure that he’ll be fine once they remove it.” She explained.
I breathed a sigh of relief and felt a smile spread across my face. “When is his surgery?” I asked.
“Tomorrow morning.” She said. “The doctor said that he’ll need to stay at the hospital for a few days afterward to make sure that he’s okay, but then he can go home.” She said happily.
“That’s great news!” I said, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders and the knots in my stomach loosen. “Thank you for calling me.” I told her.
Emily was silent for a second and then she whispered. “Skye, can I stay at your place tonight?”.
I was a bit surprised to say the least. “I don’t think that’s a good idea Emily.” I told her my mind flashing images of her mother accusing me of kidnapping her daughter as well as molesting her.
“It’ll be fine, I told my mom that I wanted to visit some of my friends from when I went to school here. She’s totally fine with it so if you say it’s okay I can take a cab to your house and we can have a sleepover.” She explained happily.
I sighed. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea. If your mother found out she’d probably have me hanged.” I told her meaning to be funny, but then realizing that it probably wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities.
“I’m not going back to Colorado with her when this is over.” Emily said. “I hate her so much and I refuse to live with her for two more years. I’m going to tell her that I’m staying to keep an eye on Sam, I doubt she’ll fight me on it.” She said confidently.
I thought hard about her request but in the end my eagerness to please her won out and I gave her my address. “Please promise me that you won’t get caught coming here, I don’t need your mom assaulting me in my own home as well as an elevator.
“She assaulted you?” Emily asked.
I cursed myself for telling her that. “No.” I lied praying that she’d believe me.
“Skye, tell me what happened.” She ordered with a voice that sounded far too much like a parent talking to an unruly child.
I sighed. “She slapped me and slammed me against the wall in the elevator.” I confessed.
“Are you okay? Did she leave a mark?” Emily asked her genuine concern for my wellbeing very warming.
“I’m alright, I don’t think she left a mark.” I told her. “Please don’t make a big deal out of this.” I pleaded.
“I’ll see you in a little while.” She said hurriedly before hanging up the phone abruptly.
I flopped onto my back in the crib and sighed heavily. “Why do I get the feeling that I just kicked a hornet’s nest?” I wondered to myself.
I forced myself to get up and change into panties. I wanted to make sure that Emily knew that I was allowing her to stay the night but not engaging in any kind of baby play with her. I tidied up the house after pulling some pajama pants on, making sure to hide any and all baby paraphernalia before my guest arrived. I cleaned the pee stain off the couch as best I could and then covered the cushions with a spare blanket. With the house clean and no sign of any baby items I sat down in my circular chair and waited.
An hour after I’d sat down the doorbell rang. I got up and hurried to the door and opened it to find Emily standing on the porch with her suitcase in hand. She came into the house and set her luggage down while I closed and locked the door. As I turned around I was pulled into a hug.
“Thank you for letting me stay with you.” She said happily.
I hugged her back and smiled. “It’s no big deal.” I told her. “What happened with your mom?” I asked.
Emily broke the hug and groaned. “That bitch didn’t say a word to me after I told her I’d testify against her when you sued her for assault.” She said with a smile. “She just stared at me in disbelief and told me to do whatever I wanted.” She added.
I sighed. “You shouldn’t have threatened her like that, what if she takes it out on me?” I asked.
Emily shook her head. “My mom knows when to back down, she knows that if she pushes me she’ll lose me forever, and she doesn’t want that.” She explained.
“Still, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use me as leverage against her.” I said a little hurt and annoyed.
Emily smiled. “Aww, is someone cranky?” she asked teasingly.
“No, I just don’t want to be put in the middle of a family fight.” I explained. “It’s bad enough your mom thinks I’m some kind of child molester, I don’t need her thinking that I’m corrupting you and turning you against her on top of that.” I told her.
Emily stopped smiling. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have used you like that, I’m sorry.” She said.
I smiled. “Thank you.” I told her.
She clapped her hands. “Now that we’ve made up, what are we gonna do tonight?” she asked.
I shrugged. “What would you like to do?” I asked.
Emily shrugged back. “I don’t know, it’s been a while since I babysat. Are you hungry?” she asked as she turned and headed toward the kitchen.
“Stop.” I commanded in my most authoritative voice.
She stopped and turned back around. “What?” she asked.
“You’re not here to babysit. I’m the adult here and this is my house. I’m letting you stay here so you don’t have to deal with your bitch of a mother and so you don’t have to sleep in a hospital waiting room.” I explained.
Emily stared at me blankly and then burst out laughing. “That was so cute.” She said. “I almost believed that you meant that.” She added.
I blushed hotly. “I did.” I told her.
She stopped laughing. “Skye, you don’t mean that.” She said. “C’mon, I know that you want me to take care of you.” She said as she took a step toward me.
I shook my head. “No, I want you to relax and get your mind off of Sam and your mom, that’s it.” I told her as I took a step back from her.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to babysit you tonight?” she asked in a syrupy sweet tone.
I nodded. “You’re a minor and I’m a grown woman, if anyone is babysitting tonight it’s me.” I told her.
She started laughing again. “Yeah, I’m not the one that wet her diaper so much that it leaked in the hospital bathroom.” She said with a scoff.
I blushed again and suddenly felt very foolish for allowing Emily to come over. “Emily, I think you should go.” I told her as I moved to the front door.
Emily grabbed my arm and pulled me to her. “I’m not going anywhere honey.” She said as she stared into my eyes with a determined intensity.
“Please, you hurt my feelings and I’d like you to leave.” I said as I pulled away from her and started walking to the door again.
Emily walked to me and grabbed my hand before dragging me over to the couch where she forced me to sit down with a shove. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.” She said.
“Thank you.” I told her. “I still think you should go.” I said.
Emily shook her head. “Here’s what I think, I think that I’m going to stay here with you tonight, and you’re going to be the most well behaved baby I’ve ever taken care of.” She explained.
“And if I don’t do what you say?” I asked defiantly.
“I don’t have an ultimatum for you Skye, I’m not going to threaten you.” She said.
I stood up. “Then why should I do what you tell me to do?” I asked.
Emily’s face softened and she smiled at me. “Because I know that you’re happiest when you’re a baby and you have someone to take care of you. I know that Sam is that person for you, but in his absence I’d like to offer my services.” She explained.
I started to warm up to her proposal, but I still felt weird about having a teenage girl baby me. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel comfortable with you babying me.” I told her.
“Jesus Christ Skye it’s not like I’m telling you I want to have a crazy lesbian sex marathon, I just want to help you through this whole thing by taking care of you.” She explained. “But if it makes you that uncomfortable, then we can just forget I brought it up.” She said with a sigh.
I attempted to hug her but was pushed back down on the couch. “Hey!” I exclaimed in surprise.
“It makes me uncomfortable when you hug me, I mean you are an adult and I’m just a child.” She said in a snotty tone.
I scoffed. “You’re sure acting like one.” I told her.
She looked at me with a feigned hurt look on her face. “Brat!” she shouted as she playfully slapped my leg.
“I’m the brat?!” I asked. “You’re the one that denied my hug and then hurt my feelings by mocking me.” I said before sticking my tongue out at her.
Her mouth dropped open. “Stick your tongue out at me will you?” she asked before she leapt at me and started tickling my sides.
I managed to wriggle away from her and off the couch gasping for breath as I tried to stop laughing. I turned back to her and stuck my tongue out again before giggling at her.
“That’s it!” she said between laughs as she got up from the couch and ran toward me.
I tried to run past her, but she caught me around the waist and pulled me to her. She dragged me back to the couch and I quickly found myself on my stomach across her lap. She started spanking me playfully at first, but the blows quickly grew stronger until finally I was kicking my legs and crying given that my butt was still a little sore from diaper rash.
“Please, stop!” I shouted between gasps for air.
“Have you learned your lesson?” she asked.
I nodded my head vehemently. “Yes, I’m sorry I stuck my tongue out at you.” I said.
“Good.” She said. “Are you gonna be a good girl and do as I tell you for the rest of the night?” she asked.
That was the moment that I realized she’d won. I knew right then that if I didn’t let her do what she wanted that she’d spank me till I had no fight left and then she’d do what she wanted anyway. I took a deep breath and nodded again. “Yes, I’ll be a good girl and do what you tell me to do.” I said in defeat.
Emily helped me off of her lap and smiled as she wiped my tears away gently. “That was easier than I thought.” She said. “Now show me your baby room.” She ordered as she delivered a final swat to my behind.
And that’s how my night with Emily started, with me scampering to my room like a scolded child so I could show a teenage girl where I kept my diapers. I knew as I winced with every step because of the sting on my bottom that it was indeed going to be a very long and humiliating night. How wrong I turned out to be.
you are mos definitely welcome. i love yous story. but that horrid witch needs to have something done to her in wevenge fo hurting skye. Im glad that emily finally won ovew skye an made her show her the baby room. :) ith gonn be fun watching them two get along
I thought Emily was going to faint when the nursery door opened and the full weight of my dedication to my fetish was revealed. She gasped when she first saw the room and then continued to do so whenever she saw something she thought was precious or adorable, which was pretty much everything. She touched everything she saw as if she was unsure it was actually real, by the time she got to the closet I thought her head was going to explode from cuteness overload. She rifled through the garments that hung in the closet making noises and comments to illustrate her approval.
“This is amazing.” She said as she left the closet and took a last look around the room.
I blushed and smiled. “I like it.” I said, unsure of what else to say.
She smiled at me. “Well, I love it.” She said. “How long did it take you to get it this way?” she asked as she ran her hand along the top rail of the crib in admiration.
I shrugged. “A few years I guess, I didn’t really keep track of the time.” I explained.
She made a thoughtful noise and turned her attention from admiring the room to me. “Well, it’s very impressive honey.” She said sweetly before she walked to me and put her hands gently on my shoulders as she looked down into my eyes. “Let’s get you changed.” She said.
I was suddenly wracked with nervousness. I knew that this was going to happen when I came into the nursery with Emily, but for some reason I was just now feeling nervous about it. When she started to guide me toward the changing table I put on the brakes and tried to stay where I was.
“Aww, is someone shy?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I’m still not sure about this.” I said quietly hoping that I wouldn’t end up over her knee again.
Emily squatted down in front of me and took my hands in hers as she locked eyes with me. “Skye, I promise you that nothing bad will happen.” She said reassuringly as she gently squeezed my hands. “I tell you what, if at any point tonight you feel like things are getting to be too much then you can say ‘stop’ and I’ll drop the whole thing and we can just hang out as adults.” She explained. “Does that sound okay to you?” she asked.
I thought for a moment and finally nodded my agreement.
“Good!” she said before she scooped me up with her as she rose from her squat and turned to set me down on the changing table.
It’s incredibly hard to assert yourself when everyone you’re trying to stand up to can just pick you up and carry you like you’re nothing but a child. On the other hand people being able to do that to me is one of the greatest feelings when I want to be little.
I allowed Emily to lift my shirt up over my head and guide me onto my back on the surface of the changing table. I attempted to cover my bare breasts and felt very foolish for doing so when Emily began chuckling at me.
“Silly girl, you don’t have anything to hide.” She said as she gently pulled my hands away from my chest. “It’s not like you have anything I don’t see every day.” She said with a reassuring smile as she gestured to her own breasts.
I looked up at her ample bosom and then looked down at my less than impressive showing. Seeing her chest in comparison to mine served as a sharp blow to any remaining resistance I might have had. I found myself believing that I actually was the younger of the two of us and that Emily was just doing what any babysitter would do with one of her charges. With that mindset I instantly relaxed and abandoned any further internal conflicts for the suddenly much more appealing prospect of being a well behaved baby for Emily.
Emily had already removed my pajama pants and underwear by the time I checked back in to my surroundings. I put my thumb in my mouth as I saw her duck below the table and return a moment later with the wipes and powder. She smiled at me when she caught sight of me contentedly sucking my thumb and gave my exposed stomach a little tickle with her fingernails causing me to giggle and squirm a bit.
“God you are just precious.” She proclaimed. “Honestly, I don’t know how you manage to get cuter every time you do something.” She said.
I started to say something to her but stopped when she turned her attention back to getting me ready. I realized that she was talking to me like an adult would to an actual baby, not expecting a response but talking to keep the baby calm and happy. That realization made me blush a bit and then was immediately forgotten as a cold wipe ran up my crotch and I let out a small surprised gasp behind my thumb.
“I know it’s cold honey, but I’ll be quick.” She said as she set the wipe down and grabbed another before pulling up my legs and wiping my bottom.
Satisfied with her work she set my legs down and bent down to get a diaper. She unfolded the disposable garment and slid it under me after lifting my butt up via my legs. With practiced speed she applied some rash cream to my diaper area, topped that with powder and pulled the diaper up and taped it closed.
“There we go!” she exclaimed cheerfully as she surveyed her work. “Now how about a cute shirt?” she asked rhetorically as she went to the closet.
I watched her flip through the items in the closet talking to herself as she judged each article of clothing. She emerged a moment later with a purple t-shirt in her hand and a wide smile on her face.
“This is perfect.” She declared as she held the shirt open so I could see the front of it.
The shirt was one of the first AB shirts I’d made for myself. I’d made an iron on transfer that said “Daddy’s Little Artist” on it in multicolored letters that looked hand drawn. I’d drawn a picture of an adult little girl on her stomach on the floor coloring in a coloring book with her legs crossed in the air behind her. I’d drawn the girl with her head cocked to the side slightly so she looked like she was really focused on what she was doing. Of course she was only wearing a shirt and diaper, and I smiled when I thought of doing just what she was doing for Sam when he got better.
Emily took my smile as agreement and sat me up before pulling the shirt on me. She assessed me for a moment and shook her head. “You need pigtails.” She said as she pulled me off the table and set me on the floor before taking my hand and leading me back to the living room. She had me sit on the couch while she scoured her purse for a couple of blue hair bands which she quickly and expertly used to put my hair into twin pigtails before she smiled widely at me. “There we go!” she said.
I hadn’t stopped sucking my thumb throughout all her preparations except when she pulled the shirt on me. I smiled at her behind my thumb not because she was smiling, but because I was happy that she was happy with me. I had slipped into the role of docile baby so completely by this point that I didn’t try to talk at all, I just slurped on my thumb as I waited for Emily’s next move.
“Let’s get you something to drink cutie.” She said as she gave my nose a tweak before she left the living room for the kitchen and opened the fridge. She produced a bottle of apple juice and returned with a smile. “Such a clever baby having bottles all ready to go in the fridge for her babysitter.” She praised.
I watched her take a seat in the circular chair and get herself comfortable before she patted her lap to tell me she was ready for me. I got off the couch and walked over to her my diaper crinkling with each step causing her to smile. I smiled back and wiggled my butt a bit when I’d reached the chair and giggled at the rustling before I climbed up onto her lap and positioned myself so I could comfortably nurse the bottle as I lay with my head against her breast.
Emily smiled down at me and gently removed my thumb before she slid the bottle into my mouth. She held the bottle with one hand and rubbed my back in gentle circles as I started to drink. “I want to share something with you Skye.” She said after a moment.
I looked up at her and continued nursing the bottle, sure that she didn’t expect me to say anything.
She took a deep breath and started to tell me her story. “Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a mommy.” She started. “I had dozens of baby dolls that I’d take care of, whenever my friends and I would play house I’d always be the mommy, it was just a role that I felt was perfect for me.” She explained. “The problem was that I was always the baby of the family. Sam was the first and oldest, and I was the baby and I don’t know that that will ever change. When I was a little girl I tried to show my parents that I was responsible and grown up all the time, but Sam always seemed to be doing something more adult at the same time and that would overshadow my attempts and I’d be expected to be proud of my big brother.” She explained with a tinge of sadness.
I snuggled closer to her to try and console her, but I wasn’t sure if she noticed.
“When we moved to Colorado I actually missed having my big brother around. I’d tried so hard to climb out of his shadow and prove that I was a responsible adult that I didn’t even realize how happy I was to have a big brother that loved me and watched out for me until it was gone.” She explained. “I started to act out at school and eventually started hanging out with the bad kids. When I was with them I felt like I was part of a group of people that were all trying to forget their problems together. I started drinking and smoking pot and taking Ecstasy, and in no time at all I forgot my problems and devoted as much time as I could to having fun and partying.” She said as her eyes started to fill with tears as she approached the hardest part of the story to tell. “A friend of a friend got us invited to a college party, which of course I was totally out of my mind excited to go to, and we went and I ended up getting so drunk that I blacked out.” She said as she closed her eyes for a moment to dump the tears that had formed.
I wrapped my arm around her and hugged her as tight as I could manage. She looked down at me and leaned down to kiss the top of my head.
“I’m alright sweetie.” She said. “The next day I woke up completely naked on the floor of one of the bedrooms in the frat house. I knew that something bad had happened, but I blocked it out and just focused on getting dressed and getting the hell out of there.” She explained. “I tried to forget the whole thing had happened, and almost did until I missed my period.” She said her voice wavering and tears freely rolling down her cheeks. “I took a pregnancy test and when it came up positive I knew I couldn’t pretend that nothing had happened anymore. I went to a clinic to-“ she stopped speaking and started crying in earnest.
I felt tears of my own begin to fall as I watched her try to compose herself enough to continue her story. The now empty bottle dropped between us as she reached up to wipe her eyes. I hugged her again and then wiped away my own tears.
After a minute or two she managed to calm herself enough to continue. “I went to get an abortion.” She said. “After it was done I felt like I’d betrayed my dream of being a mommy. I knew that I couldn’t keep a child that was created in such an ugly and despicable way, but I still felt like I was sacrificing something that I’d always wanted to fix something that had been done to me against my will.” She explained. “My mom found the pregnancy test and that’s when she made it her life’s work to keep me safe from anything she perceived to be a threat to me. She controls every aspect of my life and keeps me under constant supervision. It’s like I’m that little girl again who’s striving to prove that she’s grown up and responsible but can’t get out from under the one mistake she made that caused everything to change.” She said with a tinge of bitterness. “After the dust had settled a bit I discovered that I was afraid of any kind of sex or even masturbation, which makes me afraid that I might never find someone that I actually want to have a baby with, let alone go through the actual act of making the baby.” She said. “That’s why I’ve been so forceful with wanting to baby you.” She added.
I pulled my thumb from my mouth and decided to break my role as baby for just a moment. “I’m sorry that you had such an awful thing happen to you.” I told her. “If it makes you feel better, I’m sure that you’ll find someone when the time is right, and when you do you’ll see that you’ve been able to overcome a hugely traumatic event and you lived to tell the tale because you’re a strong woman.” I told her. “And I’m sorry that I fought you so hard on the whole baby thing. I’d consider myself lucky to have you take care of me anytime you want.” I added.
She pulled me up from my cradled position and hugged me tightly to her. “Thank you Skye.” She whispered. “I promise that I’ll be the best babysitter you’ve ever had.” She said.
I pulled away from her and looked at her with a wide smile. “I like big sister better.” I told her.
She started laughing and pulled me back into her embrace. “Big sister it is.” She said happily. When our hug ended she took the empty bottle and got up from the chair and went to the fridge to get another one before she returned and we got back into our prior positions.
I felt a tremendous warmth within my heart as I nursed the second bottle. I felt like I’d added a second member to my new family and not only was she ready and willing to fill the role of big sister and caregiver, but she was also someone that I could talk girl talk with and felt comfortable in calling a friend. This made me happy, almost as happy as I was when I found Sam, and that happiness made me feel smaller and cozier as I nestled into Emily.
“You’re a very affectionate baby.” Emily mused as she rubbed my back and looked down at me with a smile.
I nodded softly as I closed my eyes and savored the feelings that were washing pleasantly over me. I barely felt my bladder release as I lay there and wasn’t entirely sure it actually had until I felt the warmth spread within my diaper and to my bottom. I sighed contentedly and wiggled my bottom a bit as I relished the warm tickle.
Emily sighed knowingly and placed her hand on the front of my diaper. “Just like a real baby.” She said with a small chuckle before she pulled her hand away and moved to pat my bottom.
I finally opened my eyes when I started sucking air from the now empty bottle. I looked up at Emily who was smiling down at me lovingly as she removed the bottle from my mouth and set it beside her before she repositioned me and began patting my back firmly but gently.
“Let’s see if you do other things babies do.” She said with a smile as she continued patting my back.
I belched loudly after a moment and immediately began blushing. “’Scuse me.” I said sheepishly.
Emily laughed loudly and hugged me. “No need to be embarrassed honey, all babies need to be burped after their bottles.” She told me. She sat me on her lap and grabbed the empty bottle from the chair before she smiled widely at me. “How about some dinner?” she asked.
I nodded happily and quickly leapt off her lap and raced to the kitchen to wait for her. I helpfully opened the fridge for Emily and peered around the door at her as she walked toward me.
“What a helper you are!” she praised as she set the empty bottle on the counter and stepped around the fridge door to join me in looking for something to make. “Hmm, how about some vegetables?” she asked.
I wrinkled my nose at the suggestion and stuck my tongue out in disgust. “Yucky.” I spat.
Emily chuckled and kept searching the fridge before she settled on the Tupperware container that held the leftover lasagna that I’d made for Sam and I. “Lasagna?” she offered.
I thought for a second and nodded. “Yummy!” I cheered as I clapped my hands happily.
Emily smiled and patted me on the head as she set to putting a portion of lasagna in a bowl for me and then stuck it in the microwave. “Alright, where are your bibs?” she asked.
I pointed out the drawer with the bibs and scurried off to fetch my highchair from the closet. I opened the door and started to pull the chair out excitedly before I ended up pulling it over in my excitement and it fell onto its side with a thud.
Emily came rushing over to me. “Be careful honey, you could have gotten hurt.” She chided. “Why didn’t you just tell me you had a highchair? I would’ve gotten it out for you.” She asked.
“Sorry sister.” I said sheepishly
Emily kissed the top of my head and gave me a few pats on the butt. “It’s alright honey, I’m not mad at you I just don’t want you to get hurt.” She explained.
After the chair had been righted and moved closer to the table and the rest of the chairs Emily set me in it and locked the tray into place before going back into the kitchen to finish my lasagna. I kicked my legs happily and bounced on my butt a little as I excitedly awaited my delicious meal.
“Alright, we’ve got some nummy lasagna and some chocolate milk.” Emily said as she returned and set the bowl and sippy cup down on the tray.
“Yay, thank you sister!” I cheered happily.
Emily laughed at my excitement and carefully put my bib on me. “I think you can feed yourself while I get some food for myself.” She said.
I looked around for a utensil to eat with and figured that Emily expected me to use my hands. I started to carefully pull the lasagna apart and get it into my mouth as neatly as possible but then resigned to getting tomato sauce all over myself and the tray of the highchair.
Emily returned and started laughing as she sat down with a bowl of lasagna for herself. “I could have brought you a fork.” She said.
I stopped what I was doing and looked at her in surprise and then with a mouth full of sauce and pasta I said “Now you tell me.” Some of the sauce in my mouth began to run down my chin after I spoke causing Emily to laugh harder.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” She said as she pulled my bib up and wiped my chin clean.
We sat and ate our food mostly in silence except for the occasional bit of laughter that my less than lady like table manners garnered. When I’d finished feeding myself I greedily gulped down my chocolate milk and then belched loudly once again to signify not only my completion of the meal, but also my satisfaction.
“I’ve created a monster.” Emily said between laughs as she set down her fork and started to clean my hands and face with her napkin. When she’d gotten me clean she let me out of the highchair and sat back down. “While I finish my dinner why don’t you go get your crayons and draw a picture for me?” She said.
I smiled and took off to get my art supplies. I returned a moment later and set my stuff on the table near Emily and got onto the chair on my knees with my butt resting on the balls of my feet as I pulled out some crayons and started drawing. I stuck my tongue out a bit as I worked on my masterpiece for Emily. Everything else faded away as I became totally focused on my picture.
“I’m gonna take a shower real quick, will you be alright by yourself?” Emily asked as she got up and took our dishes into the kitchen. She dropped the bowls into the sink and opened the fridge and returned with another bottle of juice for me.
I nodded continued coloring without looking up at her. To be honest, I’m not even sure what she’d asked me, I just nodded because I could tell by her voice that she’d asked a question.
“Alright, be good and if you need me you can come and get me.” She said before kissing the top of my head and departing.
I was so proud of my work as I colored in some of what I’d drawn. I had drawn Daddy and I happily eating cookies and cake while a smiling sun shone down on us and some birds and other animals had fun around us. I had also drawn Emily flying above us and dropping cupcakes for us to enjoy while she sang a happy song. Everything was going so well with my picture that when I felt a familiar rumble in my tummy I became annoyed that I had to stop. I stopped coloring and set my crayon down with a sigh before getting off my chair. “Emily I hafta go potty.” I said assuming that she was somewhere within earshot of me.
After some searching I found out she was in the shower, and rather than disturb her I decided to go into the nursery and take care of the situation the only other way I could. I shut the door behind me and grabbed my pacifier from inside the crib before I went to the center of the room and dropped to a squatting position. I worked the pacifier feverishly in my mouth as I pushed and grunted in an attempt to fill my diaper. I’ll spare you all the gory details, but suffice to say I left the nursery feeling much better and with a sizable load in the seat of my diaper. I returned to my chair and sat back down getting both a thrill and bit of disgust as I lowered my bottom back onto the balls of my feet. I picked my crayon back up and dove back into my drawing and before too long I was back in my own little world.
“Uh oh, did someone make a poopy?” Emily asked when she got out of the shower.
I was startled by her sudden appearance and I actually jumped a little when I heard her voice. I turned to face her and saw that she was pinching her nose and waving her hand in front of her face to illustrate that the room smelled bad. I blushed hotly and looked down sullenly.
“Aww, it’s alright honey.” Emily said as she came over and lifted my chin up. “I’m sorry I teased you. I’m not mad.” She told me.
“I’m sorry I’m stinky.” I said.
Emily picked up my pacifier from the table and put it into my mouth. “Hush now, you’re just a baby and babies poop their diapers.” She said as she helped me off the chair and took my hand. “Now let’s get you cleaned up.” She said as she led me back to the nursery.
I followed behind her and pulled at the seat of my diaper as I walked. I tried to hide my face as much as possible while she changed me, but I managed to catch sight of her face once during the process and noticed a slight look of disgust on her face as she started cleaning my butt. I quickly hid my face again and felt so ashamed that I’d put her in such a horrible position.
Emily finished changing me into a clean diaper and pulled me up to a seated position on the table. “Why are you so sad looking?” she asked.
I started to cry as I looked at her. “I’m sorry you had to change my poopy diaper.” I said with a sniffle.
Emily shushed me and hugged me. “Skye I told you I wasn’t mad.” She said as she gently rubbed my back.
“I saw your face, you think I’m gross.” I whined before breaking into full sobs.
Emily sighed and pulled me from her so she could see my face. “I don’t think your gross. I’m not exactly in love with seeing and smelling poop, but I know that you had to go and like any other baby you went in your diaper.” She explained. “I promise that I don’t think you’re gross and I promise that I don’t mind changing your poopy diapers.” She said.
I sniffled again. “You promise?” I asked.
She nodded. “Everything is fine you silly goose.” She said.
I tried to smile and stop crying, but for some reason I just couldn’t. I felt better that Emily wasn’t upset with me, but for some reason I was still sad about something.
“I think maybe we should put you to bed.” She told me. “You seem a little too fussy for any more excitement tonight.” She added.
Without any further discussion Emily took me down from the changing table and led me over to the crib. After lowering the railing she helped me in and raised the rail part of the way up before she left the room for a moment. She returned a minute or two later with a bottle of milk and lowered the rail again before climbing into the crib next to me sitting with her back against the headboard of the crib. She pulled me close to her and guided the nipple of the bottle into my mouth.
Warm milk filled my mouth as I began to suckle and I felt my eyes grow heavy as Emily began stroking my hair and hum a lullaby to me. The combination of the milk and the gentle stroking of my hair made me incredibly sleepy and despite my best efforts I allowed my eyes to close and soon I was asleep.
This story is a wonderful emotional rollercoaster
It's only going to get crazier my friend! :D
XVI. The Missing Piece
I woke to a gentle nudging of my shoulder early the next morning. As my eyes adjusted to being awake I saw Emily standing next to the crib smiling at me. I started to wish her a good morning, but found the nipple of a bottle of juice quickly pressed between my lips. The cold juice woke my sleep filled mouth and helped to jump start my brain a bit. “What time is it?” I asked quickly before resuming my drinking.
“Almost six.” Emily managed to answer before a yawn overtook her. “I wanted to make sure we were ready to go so we could get to the hospital and wait for Sam to get out of surgery.” She explained.
I nodded my agreement and slid to the edge of the crib and sat up before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with my free hand. Without warning Emily scooped me up and took me to the changing table where she set me down on the edge and guided me to lie down. I complied and was soon brought to wide awake status as my diaper was opened and removed from under me before a freezing cold wipe touched my sensitive flesh causing me to nearly jump out of my skin.
“Sorry.” Emily said as she tried to finish cleaning me as quickly as possible.
I didn’t say a word; I just continued sucking down my juice through my clenched teeth as I bit down on the teat of the bottle.
“Alright, do you need to wear more than one diaper at a time today?” she asked.
I unclenched my teeth and removed the bottle from my mouth. “I don’t need a diaper at all.” I told her.
Emily made a face that looked as though she was hesitant to believe me, and sighed. “Skye, do you remember what a state you were in the last time you were out and about?” she asked.
I knew she was talking about the overflow that I’d suffered in the hospital bathroom and I blushed at the reminder of the incident. “That wasn’t normal; it was just that I hadn’t had a chance to change.” I explained, amazed at how much I sounded like a toddler justifying their own accident.
“Wouldn’t you rather play it safe and wear one?” she asked. “I know you don’t want to have an embarrassing accident in front of a waiting room full of strangers.” She said. “Or worse, my mother.” She added.
I shuddered at the thought of that wretched woman seeing me in that position, knowing her she’d probably use it as an excuse to keep me from Sam again. “Go ahead and put one on me.” I relented. “What are we going to do about your mom?” I asked before popping the bottle back in my mouth to finish the remainder of the juice.
Emily said nothing for a moment as she set to her task of getting me into a clean diaper. She mumbled something quickly and continued her work.
“What was that?” I asked after setting my now empty bottle down.
She sighed. “I said that I thought it would be best to show her your baby side.” She said hurriedly knowing how I’d react.
“In what way would that be best?” I asked.
“Well, maybe if she saw you dressed like an adorable little girl she wouldn’t think you were some slut that was sleeping with her son.” She offered.
I sat up and stared at her in disbelief. “More than likely, your mom with think I’m some sort of deranged sex pervert and try and call the police on me or something.” I said. “There is no way in Hell that I’m going to open myself up to her and that’s final.” I said before swinging my legs over the side of the changing table and hopping off.
“Where are you going?” Emily asked.
“I’m going to get dressed in my adult clothes if that’s alright with you.” I said before I started walking out of the room.
Emily followed and grabbed my arm to spin me back around to face her. “Do you trust me?” she asked.
I shook my head. “That’s not the point.” I told her.
“If you trust me then you know that I’d never try and put you in a situation that would turn out harmful for you.” She said. “All I want is for my mom to see a different side of you so that she can feel more at ease with the idea of you being with Sam.” She explained.
I sighed. “What you don’t understand is that it isn’t my job to convince her that Sam and I love each other.” I said. “Your mom is the one with the problem, let her deal with it.” I added.
“You know that if she deals with it her way then it’s going to be a hundred times harder for you.” She said. “All I’m suggesting is that you appeal to the mother in her and show her that a part of you is just a little girl that needs her Daddy.” She explained.
I looked into her eyes and considered what she was proposing. “Fine, I’ll try your idea.” I said.
“Thank you.” She said as she hugged me.
“But, if your mom starts getting crazy or hostile I want your word that you’ll get my back.” I said.
Emily separated from me and nodded. “I’ll put her down myself.” She said with a smile before she led me back to the changing table.
I started to have regrets about going along with Emily’s idea when we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. I looked down at the pink overalls I was wearing and felt the butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter as I took note of the bulge my diaper created underneath. I’d been dressed in this exact same outfit many times in public, but for some reason wearing it now and knowing what kind of person Sam and Emily’s mother was, I was extremely nervous. I forced myself to get out of the car and stood next to my door looking at the hospital with dread.
Emily shut her door and came around to the driver side of the car and took my hand in hers as she stood next to me. “I’m here.” She said simply as she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
I took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. “Let’s get this over with.” I said meekly.
Emily led me by the hand into the hospital with my “diaper bag” slung over her other shoulder. We got into the elevator and once the doors had closed I began breathing heavily, my palms sweaty and my heart racing. Emily put her hand on my shoulder and gave a small pat to it.
“Everything is going to be fine.” She whispered.
In my nervousness I felt myself begin to pee a little, an act that normally would have helped me to relax only made me more nervous, I began worrying that I might leak in front of Lydia and she’d be so disgusted by me that she’d throw me out of the hospital by way of one of the eighth floor windows.
As the doors of the elevator opened I could see Lydia sitting in the waiting area reading a magazine. She hadn’t seen us yet, but I knew once she did that there’d be no turning back. Despite my best efforts to stay in the elevator until the doors closed again, Emily’s hand on my back pushing me through the doors finally won out and we exited the safe zone and stepped into the lion’s den. As we approached Lydia she looked up from her magazine and her face went stony as she laid eyes on me.
“Mom, before you say anything I want you to hear what Skye has to say.” Emily said as her mother started to open her mouth to curse me or berate me. “Go ahead.” She said to me when she saw that her mother was going to hear me out.
I cleared my throat and tried to look anywhere except into Lydia’s eyes. “Mrs. Roosevelt, my name is Skye Sundaray.” I said as a bit more pee escaped into my diaper. I took a deep breath before attempting the next sentence, “I’m an Adult Baby.” I squeaked out through dry and uncooperative vocal chords. I snuck a glance at her face and found it hadn’t changed and was still as unforgiving as when I’d started. “I like to wear diapers and be treated like a baby sometimes, and your son is my Daddy.” I said my eyes now glued to the floor as I waited for the explosion of rage and disgust.
“So.” Lydia said drawing out her word as she gathered her thoughts. “You want what from me?” she asked.
I shifted my weight as another spurt of pee came out. “I want you to know that I love your son and that he loves me, and not because of physical attraction, but because I view him as a strong and caring man that will hold me in his arms and love me no matter what I like to wear or how I like to act.” I told her.
Lydia scoffed. “So because my son changes your diapers you love him, and that means he loves you?” she asked. “Let me tell you something little girl, you’re a sick and disgusting pervert and the fact that you think sharing your bizarre little lifestyle with me will somehow make me think you should be with my son is not only pathetic, it’s also foolish.” She spat. Lydia stepped closer to me and pointed her finger in my face, “I want you to get out of my sight and never bother my son or my family ever again you sick freak.” She hissed.
“Enough!” Emily shouted as she shoved her mother causing her to fall back into the chair she’d been sitting in when we’d arrived.
Lydia stammered and looked at her daughter in disbelief. “Emily!” she cried out in surprise. “Have you lost your mind?!” she shouted.
Emily shook her head. “No, I’m actually pretty sure that I’ve never thought clearer in my life.” She said. “I want you to listen to me, and when I’m done, you’re going to apologize to Skye and then you’re going to go to the cafeteria so I don’t have to look at you anymore.” She explained. “I stayed at Skye’s house last night, and I babied her, and it was one of the greatest nights I’ve ever had.” She said.
“You did what?!” Lydia said as she started to get up, probably to cause me bodily harm.
Emily stepped forward and pushed her mother back into the seat again. “You heard me.” She said. “Now shut up and let me finish.” She ordered.
Lydia was clearly furious, but she made no further move to speak or stand up.
“Skye is the sweetest, most innocent girl I’ve ever met, and in the past day she’s become more family to me than you are.” Emily explained. “You’re so worried that someone is going to sneak in and corrupt your kids that you do everything in your power to shield them from anyone that gets too close for your liking.” She said. “I accept that my getting raped could have been avoided if I had had better judgment, what I can’t accept is you hovering around me and smothering me all the time because you’re worried it’ll happen again.” She explained. “I know you love Sam and I, but at some point you have to accept that we need to be able to make our own choices in life, and Sam’s choice is to be Skye’s Daddy.” She said.
Lydia shook her head. “Sam has never cared for a child, why would he willingly throw his life away to care for some perverted girl that was probably felt up by her own father and now needs for every man she screws to be Daddy?” she asked with venom in her eyes as she looked at me.
Emily slapped her mother across the face. “That’s enough!” she screamed. “If you can’t accept that Sam loves Skye then that’s on you, but I will not stand here and listen to you say horrible things about her anymore.” She said as she turned to me and hugged me.
Lydia had hit a nerve when she talked about my father and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably into Emily’s chest as she held me and rubbed my back. I was as angry as I was hurt, and finally anger won out and I pulled myself from Emily and turned to Lydia. “I feel sorry for you that you’re so bitter and cold that you have to make other people miserable just to feel like you’re a good mother.” I spat as tears rolled down my cheeks. “Your daughter is a million times more of a mother than you are, and she’s only sixteen!” I screamed.
Emily pulled me back from her mother and resumed hugging me. “I want you to know that I’m not going home with you.” She told her mother. “I’m staying here with Sam and I think it would be best for both of us if you just forgot you had kids.” She said.
I couldn’t see Lydia with my face buried in Emily’s breasts, but I could hear her get up and walk away without saying anything, and then I heard the elevator chime before Emily lifted my head up and kissed me on the forehead.
“I’m so sorry.” She said.
I managed to calm myself down enough to muster a small smile. “You protected me from her though, just like you promised.” I said.
Emily smiled back. “That’s what big sisters are for.” She told me.
We had to explain the outburst to the security officer that arrived a short time later, thankfully since the fight we’d been having when he was called had resolved itself we didn’t have to leave the hospital. He did however stand guard by the elevator in case Lydia came back and wanted to have another go at me.
After nearly two hours of waiting we finally were greeted by Sam’s doctor as he came out to the waiting area to get us.
“Your brother is out of surgery and resting comfortably in his room. He’ll be out of it for a while, but you’re welcome to go and see him.” The doctor explained.
“How did the surgery go?” Emily asked.
“Well, we managed to get all of the tumor, and as far as we can tell he’ll be right as rain once the drugs wear off. I’m going to schedule him to come back in a few days to run some test to make sure no other tumors have formed and that he’s functioning normally.” He explained.
Once we’d finished thanking the doctor we sat back down in our chairs in the waiting area. Emily put her hand on my knee and smiled and I put my hand on hers and smiled back. We were both so happy that Sam was fine that we didn’t really know what to do with ourselves.
“Should we go back and see him?” Emily asked.
I wanted to, desperately so, but at the same time I knew that it wouldn’t be as fulfilling if he was doped up or asleep. I shook my head, “I think we should wait a while and let the fog clear before we go and bombard him with hugs and kisses.” I said with a smile.
Emily nodded. “I’m hungry, do you want to go get breakfast?” she asked.
I nodded vigorously. “Totally!” I said eagerly. “But not here.” I added with a displeased look.
“IHOP?” Emily offered.
I grinned and nodded. “It’s a date.” I told her.
We got up from our chairs and Emily grabbed my bag and took my hand before we headed to the elevator.
“Do you need a change?” Emily asked after the doors had closed.
I shrugged. “I’m not actually sure how much I peed while we were up there.” I admitted. “I know I went a few different times though.” I told her with a blush.
“I’ll check you when we get to the car.” She said with a smile.
We reached the ground floor and exited the elevator as the doors opened and made our way leisurely to the car. I unlocked the doors and started to get in the driver’s seat when Emily stopped me and guided me to the back door which she’d opened. I looked around to see if anyone was nearby before I climbed in and lay on the back seat.
Emily made quick work of removing my overalls and wet diaper before wiping me clean. The she smiled at me and I got nervous. “How about we have a big sister and baby sister day out?” she asked.
Now I was really nervous, I didn’t know what she had in mind, but I figured it involved me probably enduring some amount of humiliation during our time out. “What’d you have in mind?” I asked hesitantly.
Emily grinned playfully. “I’m not going to tell you, you either agree to it or don’t.” she said.
I thought about it for a moment. I knew that Emily would take care of me and I’d probably have a great time with her, but I was also still pretty tender from the confrontation with Lydia and the happiness that finding out Sam was alright had brought. “If I agree do you promise not to make it too embarrassing or humiliating?” I asked.
“I thought you loved those things.” She said with a playful pout.
I nodded. “I do, but it’s already been a pretty crazy day and it’s not even noon yet.” I told her. “I don’t know if I can handle public humiliation today.” I added.
“Would you rather we go back to your house and have a big sister and baby sister day in?” she asked with some of the wind obviously taken out of her sails.
I sighed. “No, I want to have a big sister and baby sister day out.” I told her.
“Yay!” She squealed as she clapped her hands happily. “I promise it’ll be fun.” She said with a smile as she resumed the diaper change she’d left unfinished and finally covered my exposed lower half before anyone that happened to walk by could see it.
Once my new diaper was on and I’d been redressed I started to climb out of the back seat to get into the driver’s seat when Emily put her hand on my shoulder and sat me back down in the back seat before she buckled my seatbelt for me and closed the door.
“What are you doing?” I asked as she got into the driver’s seat.
Without a word she reached behind her seat and fished in the diaper bag till she found my pacifier. She turned sideways and put it in my mouth before she clipped the clip that was connected to it by a long satin strip to one of the straps on my overalls. “Babies can’t drive.” She answered as she turned back in her seat.
“I suppose they aren’t supposed to talk either?” I asked after removing my pacifier from my mouth.
Emily looked at me in the rearview mirror. “I think you know the answer to that question. Don’t you, baby sister?” She asked.
I put the pacifier back in my mouth, “Yeth big sisser.” I slurped behind the latex bulb.
Emily drove us to IHOP which was only a short drive from the hospital and parked in the nearly deserted lot in front of the restaurant. She turned off the car and once again looked at me in the rearview mirror. I could tell by her eyes that she was smiling this time and my suspicions were confirmed as she got out of the car and came to the back seat with a wide grin plastered across her face.
“I think you can leave that in the car while we have breakfast.” She said as she pulled the pacifier from my mouth and dropped it back into the bag before she unbuckled my seat belt and took me by the hand to help me out of the car.
We walked into the restaurant and were greeted by a man in his late fifties who smiled at us warmly and led us to our table. The kindly man set two menus down in front of us and started to head back to the podium near the entrance before Emily stopped him.
“I’m sorry, but could we get a kid’s menu for my little sister?” she asked politely.
The man looked back to me and then smiled before he took the menu I’d been hiding behind and left for a moment to grab the paper menu Emily had asked for and a bowl of crayons.
“What do you say, Skye?” she asked me.
I blushed hotly and looked up at the nice older man. “Thank you.” I said quietly.
--continued next post--
“You’re very welcome honey.” The man said. “If it’s alright with your big sister maybe I could see about getting you a sundae for dessert.” He offered before looking to Emily for an answer.
Emily smiled at him. “If she manages to finish all her breakfast then I think that would be fine.” She agreed.
The man looked at me with an excited grin. “Well there you go, just be a good girl and clean your plate and I’ll bring you a nice sundae.” He said.
I must have turned ten shades of red but I forced a smile and squeaked out an embarrassed ‘thank you’ before the man finally left us.
“That was great.” Emily whispered excitedly.
I didn’t say anything and focused all of my attention on the maze and word search my menu had printed on it.
“Aww, are you pouting?” she asked in syrupy sweet baby talk voice.
“No, I’m doing a maze.” I answered.
Emily set her menu down with a sigh. “Do I need to go get your pacifier?” she asked.
My attention shifted quickly from the maze to her and I shook my head vigorously. “No, I’m being good.” I said.
Emily looked unsure for a moment but then picked her menu back up and looked for what she wanted to order.
“How old do you think he thinks I am?” I asked.
Emily shrugged. “Do you want me to ask him?” she asked back.
“No, I was just curious why he would agree to give me a kid’s menu and why he felt the need to check with you to see if I could have a sundae.” I explained.
Emily set her menu down and reached across the table to grab my menu. She spun the sheet of paper around and read the bottom of it. “For kids eight and under.” She read aloud before sliding the menu back to me. “He must think you’re eight or under.” She said with a stifled giggle.
For some strange reason that hurt my feelings and I hung my head as I continued working on my maze. “I don’t look that young, do I?” I asked quietly.
Emily grinned. “I don’t know many eight year olds that have a diaper on under their overalls.” She teased.
“He didn’t notice that.” I told her with almost certainty that that was a true statement.
“Maybe he’s just a nice old man that wants to please his customers no matter what they ask for.” She said. “Now stop worrying about it and pick something to order.” She commanded.
We both made our choices and placed our food and drink orders with the man once he returned.
“Oh, and could you put some orange juice in this for her?” Emily asked as she pulled my sippy cup from her purse and held it up to the man.
The man took the container with a smile and nodded. “Sure can ma’am.” He said happily before taking Emily’s menu and departing.
“What a nice man.” Emily mused.
I looked up at her and gave her my best displeased look. “Why don’t you just change my diaper here on the table?” I asked.
Emily stroked her chin and pretended to look like she was actually considering doing that very thing. “Why are you being so fussy?” she asked.
“I told you I didn’t want public humiliation today.” I said with a pout.
“Is it really that bad? Are you not having a good time?” she asked.
I blushed and didn’t answer for a moment. “That’s not the point.” I told her.
“So you are enjoying it?” she pushed.
I sighed. “I am, but it’s weird because I’m with you.” I said.
She looked hurt for a moment. “Why is it weird with me?” she asked. “I thought this was the kind of thing you liked.” She said.
“I do, but I usually like it because it’s a guy doing it.” I said with another wave of heat rolling over my face. “It’s weird to me to get the same feelings but from a teenage girl, and my boyfriend’s sister at that.” I explained.
Now Emily flushed. “Oh. Oh my gosh Skye, I’m sorry.” She said in an obvious fluster. “I, I didn’t mean to get you all hot, or whatever you want to call it.” She stammered.
“You didn’t get me all hot, the situation did.” I explained. “I’m just not used to you being in charge of the situation.” I added.
Emily tentatively put her hand on mine as she reached across the table. “I totally understand if you want to leave.” She offered.
I shook my head. “It’s my problem; I need to deal with it.” I told her.
We sat in silence until our drinks arrived and I forced a smile to the waiter as I picked up my sippy cup with both hands and started drinking. I watched him leave and then looked to Emily who was smiling at me.
“You really are adorable.” She told me.
I nodded. “I know.” I said with a mouthful of juice that spilled down my chin and onto the front of my overalls.
Emily gasped and stifled a chuckle. “How is it that you go from being upset about being embarrassed in public to willingly embarrassing yourself in just a few minutes?” she asked as she stood up and helped wipe my face and clothes with a napkin.
I shrugged. “I have crazy mood swings.” I told her.
We both laughed at that and she did the best she could to dry my overalls, but the napkins were no match for the large wet spot on the front of my chest. She finally gave up and sat back down on her side of the booth where she sat and watched me with a smile on her face until our food came.
“Looks like somebody is a messy drinker.” Our waiter teased as he noticed the wet spot on my clothes.
Emily nodded. “I wish I’d brought a bib with us.” She joked.
He laughed as he set our plates down in front of us. “Don’t worry about it, my granddaughter is the same way.” He said. “Sometimes it’s almost easier to have them wear nothing at all.” He said before he left again.
“I hope his granddaughter is like two years old or something, otherwise that’s a pretty creepy image.” Emily said before bursting out laughing.
I chuckled a bit but in the back of my mind I was wondering just what the waiter thought about me. I knew he couldn’t really be mistaking me for a child, and the possibility that he knew what was really going on with me and was just playing along was slim at best. I decided to not worry about it and started covering my silver dollar pancakes with syrup.
“Use your napkin as a bib.” Emily said as she started cutting bits off her own much larger pancake.
I grumbled a slight protest but did as I was told before I began shoveling the tiny pancakes into my mouth. I felt syrup on my chin after only two bites, and I had to imagine my napkin bib probably had already caught some of the sticky runoff.
Emily watched me with satisfaction as she ate, taking every opportunity to point out what a messy eater I was and remarking that it was a good thing I’d listened to her about the bib. “Your clothes would’ve been ruined if it weren’t for my quick thinking.” She gloated.
My plate was soon devoid of food given the child sized portion I’d been given, and unsurprisingly I was quite eager to get the sundae I was promised for eating all my food. “How big do you think my sundae will be?” I asked Emily.
Emily shrugged. “Probably small, I’m sure he doesn’t want you to get so full of sugar that you won’t be able to have your afternoon nap.” She teased.
I stuck my tongue out at her, and when I tasted syrup I realized I still had a thin sheen of it on my chin. Unfortunately I realized this just as our waiter was walking up, and when I saw him smile as he looked at me I knew he’d seen how messy my face was.
“Got more on ya then in ya, eh?” he joked as he looked at me and picked up our empty plates and stacked them in his hands.
“She sure is a messy one.” Emily added.
I blushed and looked away from the waiter and plotted my leap across the table to silence Emily’s verbal jabs.
“Aww, don’t feel bad darlin’, I’m the same way sometimes.” The waiter offered with a chuckle. “On the plus side, you finished everything on your plate, so now you get some ice cream.” He said excitedly before he took away our plates and went to get my dessert.
I had to admit that I did feel better about the whole situation knowing that I’d soon be enjoying free ice cream. “Thank you!” I called out to the waiter who was on the other side of the restaurant.
Emily came over to my side of the booth and removed my napkin bib before she dipped it in the water glass near me that I’d yet to drink from. She used the wet napkin to artfully clean my syrupy chin and then smiled at me. “I know you’re just going to get messy again once you start eating your ice cream, but at least you won’t taste syrup while you’re eating it.” She said.
“I’m not always a messy eater.” I told her.
Emily nodded. “I know sweetie.” She said condescendingly.
“I’m not!” I argued. “Sometimes I get a little too excited and then I happen to get messy.” I explained.
Emily smirked. “And you’re not going to get too excited about ice cream?” she asked.
I pouted. “Well, maybe I won’t.” I said.
The small bowl of ice cream in question appeared on the table a moment later accompanied by a smile from our waiter and our check. He didn’t say anything as he dropped the treat off, but I could tell by his smile that he was glad he was able to bring it to me.
I began eating the ice cream as delicately as possible to prove to Emily that I could finish it without getting it all over. I managed to get several bites into it without incident, and then a big glob of hot fudge slipped off my spoon rolled down my chin and plopped onto my lap.
“Oh no, you were doing so well too.” Emily said as she tried to stifle a chuckle.
I glared at her. “It’s not funny, and it wasn’t my fault.” I told her.
She nodded. “I know honey; it was that mean old hot fudge’s fault.” She said reassuringly.
I pouted and continued eating my dessert, this time however I didn’t care about getting messy and by the time I’d finished the lone glob of hot fudge had been joined by several drips of ice cream and chocolate sauce. Much to my chagrin I looked up from my bowl to find Emily snapping a picture with her phone. “Hey!” I exclaimed.
“I couldn’t resist.” She said as she put her phone back in her purse. “I figured we needed some baby pictures of you, and now would be a perfect time to start taking them.” She explained with a smile.
I started to protest but Emily’s phone started ringing. I took the opportunity to clean my face and do the best I could with the stains on my overalls.
“It’s Sam.” She told me before she answered the call. “Hey, brother.” She said.
The conversation was short, I only got Emily’s side of it, but it sounded like Sam was awake and functioning and wanted to see us. Once she hung up the phone we got up and paid our bill, including a very nice tip for our waiter and headed back to the car. “Is he alright?” I asked as Emily helped me into the backseat and buckled me in.
“He’s fine; he’s lonely and wanted to know where I was.” She said.
I furrowed my brow. “What about me?” I asked.
“Well, he just asked where I was.” She said. “I’m sure he probably didn’t ask about you because he didn’t know you were with me. He probably called your phone to talk to you.” She explained.
I fished in the diaper bag and pulled out my phone and checked for any missed calls. “He didn’t call.” I said dejectedly.
“Honey I wouldn’t worry about it, he probably just doesn’t remember your number off the top of his head and is waiting till he can use his cell again.” She told me as she started the car and drove us back to the hospital.
“What if he forgot me?” I asked as we pulled into the hospital parking lot.
Emily scoffed. “Skye that doesn’t happen in real life.” She said. “That’s something that happens on TV or in cheesy novels.” She added.
I pouted as she helped me out of the car. “But what if he did?” I asked.
“Honey nobody could forget you.” She said before kissing the top of my head. “Now stop being silly and let’s go see your Daddy.” She said as she took my hand and we headed inside.
Up on the eighth floor Emily stopped walking when we neared Sam’s room. “Alright, you stay right outside the door and when I tell you to, you come in and give him a big hug.” She explained.
I nodded and smiled widely. “I can totally do that.” I said.
Emily patted my head and walked into the room leaving me standing near the doorway to listen for her cue.
“How’re you feeling?” she asked.
Sam groaned. “I’m still a little tired, but I’m better now that you’re here.” He said.
“Well, you’ll be even gladder when you see who I brought with me.” She told him. “You can come in now.” She said to me.
I entered the room with a wide smile on my face and made a beeline to Sam and hugged him tightly. “I missed you so much Daddy!” I said excitedly.
Without warning Sam pushed me off of him. “Who the Hell are you?” he asked.
I stepped back from him with my mouth agape. “I’m Skye.” I said.
His blank expression told me he had no idea who I was. “Is this some kind of joke Emily?” he asked turning away from me.
“No, she’s your girlfriend, and you’re her Daddy.” Emily explained, her tone as confused as mine.
“Daddy?” he asked. “I’m some twenty something year olds Daddy?” he asked in disbelief.
Emily and I both nodded.
Sam turned back to me and looked me up and down. “I’m sorry, but I’ve never seen you before in my life.” He said.
Tears began to well up in my eyes as I stepped backward from the room. I wanted to yell and argue with him and force him to remember me, but I found myself unable to form any thoughts at all.
“I wish I did know you, you’re very pretty.” He said in an obvious attempt to salvage some of my feelings.
I did the only thing I could think of at that point, I turned and ran out of the room.
XVII: Lean on Me
I made it to the waiting area before Emily caught up to me. She stopped me and pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly. “Don’t go, Skye.” She said.
“Why should I stay? He doesn’t know me.” I cried.
Emily stroked my hair as she held me and tried to calm me down. “You should stay so we can talk to the doctor and find out what’s going on.” She said.
I pushed away from her. “Give me my keys.” I demanded as I wiped the tears from my eyes.
Emily sighed and pulled my keys from her purse. “Please don’t go.” She pleaded as she held my keys out to me.
I snatched them from her and turned to head to the elevator. “Call me if he remembers me.” I said bitterly.
Autopilot kicked in from that point on and I found myself walking into my house without being able to remember driving there. I slammed the door behind me and threw my diaper bag across the room with an angry scream before I dropped to my knees and broke down into sobs. I was so angry that Sam had been ripped from me, that my happiness was once again denied and I was alone again. I sat with my back to the front door and my knees pulled up to my chin as I cried and worried about what I was going to do.
Emily called a few times while I was sitting on the floor. I didn’t answer the phone, and eventually she stopped calling. I listened to the only message she left a short time later. She explained that she’d talked to the doctor and he’d told her that Sam’s short term memory had been affected by the removal of the tumor. She said that the last thing Sam remembered was quitting his job, and everything after that point just wasn’t there.
I felt so hurt that I could be forgotten, removed from someone’s memory as easily as a phone number or appointment. I felt like there was another reason Sam had forgotten me, like I wasn’t worth remembering. I never took Emily’s explanation into consideration, for me there was no logical reason for Sam to forget me.
My phone rang again and I looked at the window on the front to see if it was Emily calling again. I was surprised to see ‘Madeline’ written in the window and attempted to calm myself a bit before opening my phone.
“Hi Madeline.” I said sadly, my voice still thick with sobs.
“Skye, what’s wrong?” she asked.
I told her everything that had happened the past few days breaking only to sob uncontrollably for a few moments. I spilled my guts to her and prayed that once I was done she’d have some kind of insight on the situation that could help me.
“Well, that’s quite a story.” Madeline said once I’d finished. “I think you should come see me tomorrow.” She said.
I shook my head to myself. “No, I just want to stay home and be sad.” I whined.
“Skye, you know that that isn’t going to help anything.” She said. “I need you to come see me tomorrow so that I can help you through this whole thing.” She explained.
I sniffled. “Can you come see me?” I asked.
“No, you need to be an adult and come see me.” She said sternly.
I wanted to argue with her, but I also knew that her tone was one of forcefulness and thus commanded respect and obedience. “Okay.” I said finally.
“Good, be here by two o’clock tomorrow afternoon.” She said. “And Skye, I promise that even though this is a very painful situation that it’s not the end of the world.” She added.
I closed my phone and let it drop to the floor. My eyes fell to the spot of hot fudge on the leg of my overalls and with fresh tears I angrily unbuckled the straps and slipped the overalls off of me before throwing them across the room where they joined the items that had flown out of my diaper bag when I’d thrown it. I looked down at my yellowed diaper, surprised to see that I’d wet it at some point without realizing it, and ripped that from my body as well before throwing it onto the pile I’d created. The last thing to go was my shirt which joined the other items across the room leaving me standing there naked.
I trudged to the bathroom and sat in the bathtub after turning on the faucet and plugging the drain. I squeezed some bubble bath into the water and sat back while the warm, soapy water gradually overtook my body. I’d calmed down considerably thanks to the fact that I’d stopped thinking about Sam or even Emily for that matter, choosing instead to focus on the warm water enveloping my soft skin.
Once the tub had filled to my liking I leaned forward and shut off the faucet then I sunk down into the tub and rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes. I breathed in and out slowly and deeply as I tried to maintain my calm and relaxed state. “Be an adult.” I thought to myself, remembering Madeline’s words. I opened my eyes and sat up, “Fuck Sam!” I shouted to no one, “Fuck Sam and his stupid brain!” I shouted a bit louder. “I’m an adult; I don’t need some guy to feel good about myself. I’m a strong and independent woman, and I’m fine without him.” I thought to myself. “Then why do I feel so hurt and alone?” I wondered after a moment.
I sat in the bathtub for a long time, long enough for the water to turn freezing cold and for my teeth to start chattering. I stepped out of the tub and unplugged the drain and hurriedly wrapped my large bath towel around myself before I shuffled out of the bathroom and down the hall. I stopped at the nursery room doorway and looked in before slamming the door shut and heading to my bedroom and flopping onto my bed with a heavy sigh before curling up in the center of the bed and drifting off to sleep.
A banging on the door and the constant ring of my doorbell woke me up a few hours later. As I roused from my sleep and sat up I smelled pee and looked down at the soaked towel I still had wrapped around me and the sodden bedding beneath. I angrily ripped the towel off of myself as I stood up and stomped my way to the front door which I threw open without regard to the fact that I was naked. “What?!” I snarled.
Emily jumped where she stood and then stared at me for a moment. “Can I come in?” she asked nervously.
I sighed and moved aside so she could enter and then slammed the door shut as she took a seat in the round chair. “What do you want?” I asked curtly as I went to the couch and sat down.
“Do you want to put some clothes on?” she asked.
I scoffed. “Why? It’s not like I have anything to hide anyway.” I spat.
Emily inhaled deeply; she was clearly not expecting me to be so aggressive with her. “Alright.” She said. “I wanted to come and check on you.” She told me.
“Clearly I’m just fine, thanks for stopping by.” I said as I got up and headed for the front door.
“Skye stop. You can talk to me.” She said.
“Look, I appreciate that you want to come and make sure I’m not dead or something.” I told her. “But I just want to be alone.” I said.
She sighed and sat back in the chair. “I’m not leaving, not until you talk to me about this whole thing.” She said.
“You wanna talk? Fine, let’s talk.” I said practically yelling. “I met a guy and fell in love with him, he turned out to be the perfect guy for me and he was willing to be my Daddy.” I said. “Then he collapses and it turns out that he has a brain tumor and I’m devastated that I’m going to lose him after just finding him.” I said my voice raising. “Then, it turns out that he’s going to be fine after his surgery, but oops, he doesn’t remember who I am!” I screamed.
“Skye, it’s not as bad as it seems, you can spend time with him and I’m sure he’ll remember after a little while.” Emily said.
I scoffed. “Yeah, and since you’re the relationship expert I should totally listen to what you have to say. Hey, maybe I should just get incredibly drunk and then he’ll love me, right?” I spat.
Emily looked hurt and she gritted her teeth after my words fully sank in. “I know you’re upset, so I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say something incredibly hurtful to me.” She explained.
I looked at her and saw her fighting not to cry and felt terrible for hurting her feelings. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” I told her.
“I know you didn’t.” she said as she wiped her eyes clear of tears she’d managed to stop from coming. “Please just talk to me.” She said. Her face brightened, “Do you wanna lie on my lap and cuddle while you talk to me?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I think you should just go.” I said bitterly.
“Why, I thought you liked being held.” She said confused.
“I’m not a fucking baby!” I screamed. “I’m the adult and you’re the child, so do as I say and get the Hell out of my house!” I shouted as I stomped over to her and grabbed her arm to pull her up from the chair, forgetting that she was bigger and stronger than me and able to easily resist my pulling.
“Stop.” She said as she sat there patiently watching me struggle to move her.
I screamed in anger and stormed out of the room. “Stay, I don’t care!” I shouted as an afterthought before I slammed my bedroom door behind me as I entered the room.
Emily came into the room a few minutes after me and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “It smells like pee in here.” She said.
I sighed and rolled over to face her. “I wet the bed, if you don’t like the smell you can leave.” I told her before rolling away from her.
“Skye, why are you fighting me so hard when all I want to do is make sure you’re alright?” she asked.
“You don’t really care about me; I’m just some surrogate baby to you.” I said.
She put her hand on my shoulder. “I know you don’t believe that.” She said.
I could tell I’d hurt her feelings again but I didn’t want to see her crying because I knew it would break my defenses and I’d start crying too. “Being a baby doesn’t solve anything.” I told her. “All it does is make you weak so that when something bad happens you have no way to deal with it.” I said.
“You don’t believe that either.” She said.
I rolled over again. “Yes I do.” I said. “If I hadn’t fallen into the role of baby so easily with you and Sam then I wouldn’t have been completely devastated when this whole thing happened.” I told her. “Because I relied on the two of you so heavily these past few days and let you fulfill all of my dreams and needs, I’m even less equipped to deal with losing you.” I explained.
“First of all, you haven’t lost anything.” She said. “I’m still here for you, and I’m not going anywhere. Secondly, Sam has a medical condition that’s causing him to forget the last week or so of his life, it’s not like he’s faking not knowing you just to get out of being with you.” She explained.
“But-“ I started to argue before she cut me off.
“But nothing, I’m right and you know it.” She said. “Now stop being angry and bitter and accept my company.” She added.
I rolled away from her again. “I have to go see my therapist tomorrow to talk about this whole thing.” I said.
“Good, I think that’s a great idea.” She said happily.
I felt her fingers graze my exposed side and start to wiggle gently causing me to giggle and squirm away from her. “No.” I cried out.
“Why don’t you get up and help me strip the bed and I’ll wash everything for you.” She said. “I mean it can’t be comfortable sleeping in a wet bed.” She added.
“I don’t want to be a baby anymore.” I told her.
She nodded. “That’s fine, I never said anything about that.” She said. “I just want to help you out so you can sleep comfortably if you want to.” She explained.
“I can do it myself.” I said as I got off the bed and started stripping it.
“Maybe you should put some clothes on.” She suggested with a smirk.
I sighed heavily and dropped the sheets onto the bed and went to my dresser to get a pair of panties and a shirt which I quickly donned before turning back to her. “Better?” I asked snottily.
Emily stifled a chuckle. “I think it’s funny that when you claim to not want to be a baby anymore you act even more like a spoiled baby.” She said.
I grumbled and finished grabbing up the bedding before leaving the room with it and heading to the laundry room near the closet where I kept my highchair. I knew Emily was following me, and that annoyed me even more as I prepped the washing machine for my bedding. “Why are you following me?” I asked.
Emily shrugged. “What else am I going to do?” she asked.
I inhaled sharply through my nose, “You could leave.” I said.
“For the last time, I’m not leaving.” She told me. “You’re just going to have to accept the fact that you’re stuck with me for the time being.” She said.
I finished loading my clothes into the washer and turned to head back to the bedroom before Emily stepped into my path. “Excuse me.” I said as I tried to pass by her and was again blocked.
“Why don’t you want to be a baby anymore?” she asked.
I sighed. “I just don’t, now please move so I can make my bed and go to sleep.” I said.
She stepped aside to let me pass and the second my back was turned she scooped me up from behind and hauled me back to the nursery before she set me down and opened the door and then drug me into the room by the hand.
“Let me go!” I screamed.
Emily ignored me and pulled me to the crib where she grabbed me around the waist and tossed me in before lifting the rails and locking them in place. “I’ll let you out when you can stop acting like a brat and talk to me like the sister I thought you felt I was.” She said.
I tried to hop over the top of the rails but caught Emily’s palm to my forehead sending me dropping back into the crib. “Let me out now Emily or I swear to God-“ I started.
“You’ll what, throw a tantrum?” she asked teasingly. “Face it, you aren’t getting out of there unless I want you to, so you’re better off just answering me.” She said.
I grabbed the bars and shook them angrily. “Emily, let me out of here now! I’m an adult and this is my house, now do as I say!” I ordered.
“I’ll make you a deal.” She said. “I’ll let you out of there if you can give me an honest answer why you don’t want to be a baby anymore.” She said.
I sat back down in the crib with my back against the other rails. “If I’m not a baby anymore then I won’t get dependant on other people.” I said. “If I’m not dependent on other people then I won’t get hurt when they stop loving me.” I explained as I started crying.
Emily dropped the crib rails. “No one stopped loving you.” She said.
I nodded. “Sam did.” I told her.
Emily climbed into the crib with me and hugged me to her. “No he didn’t, that’s what I’ve been trying to explain to you.” She said. “He may not remember you, and I know that hurts, but that certainly doesn’t mean that you should give up on him.” She said.
“But what’s the point of trying to be with him if he doesn’t remember me?” I asked.
“He fell in love with you once.” She said. “What’s to say it won’t happen again?” she asked.
I sighed and melted into her arms. “I’m just so tired, I don’t know that I have it in me to try again.” I confessed.
“You’re stronger than you think.” She told me. “You may not think it, but I know that you are.” She said.
I lay in her arms and continued crying until I started to calm down and I pulled myself from her and moved to leave the crib.
“Where are you going, honey?” she asked.
“Bathroom.” I told her without looking back.
She waited until I’d trudged to the door then asked, “Need any help?”
I heard the smile in her voice and turned to see if I was right. She was still sitting in the crib and she had a wide smile plastered across her face. “You’d like it if I did, wouldn’t you?” I asked.
Emily shrugged. “I’d like it better if you stopped being silly and let me take care of you in your time of need.” She said, her smile shrinking to a small and more sincere version of the previous one.
“Does ‘take care of me’ mean baby me?” I asked.
Emily nodded. “You know as well as I do that you’re happiest when someone is babying you.” She said. “I don’t know why you’re fighting it so hard.” She added.
I said nothing and turned to continue my journey to the bathroom.
“Unless.” Emily said.
I stopped walking and turned back around. “Unless what?” I asked.
“Unless this is one of those times where you’re just pretending to fight so that I’ll eventually take control and force it on you so that you get what you want without having to admit that you want it.” She explained.
“I hope you didn’t strain anything coming up with that.” I told her.
She scooted off the crib and walked to me. “Tell me that I’m wrong.” She said.
I looked up at her and then scoffed. “I’m going to the bathroom.” I told her before turning to leave.
Emily grabbed my arm and turned me back around. “Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll drop it.” She said.
’re just pretending to fight so that I’ll eventually take control and force it on you so that you get what you want without having to admit that you want it.” She explained.
“I hope you didn’t strain anything coming up with that.” I told her.
She scooted off the crib and walked to me. “Tell me that I’m wrong.” She said.
I looked up at her and then scoffed. “I’m going to the bathroom.” I told her before turning to leave.
Emily grabbed my arm and turned me back around. “Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll drop it.” She said.
“Let go of my arm.” I said.
She looked me dead in the eyes but didn’t let go. “Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong.” She said.
I closed my eyes and struggled to pull free of her grip. “I can’t.” I said finally after I realized I couldn’t break free and gave up.
“Why can’t you?” she asked.
I dropped to my knees and felt her let go of me. “Because you’re right.” I said quietly as I stared at the floor.
“What was that?” she asked.
I looked up at her and sniffled. “Because you’re right.” I told her.
She smiled down at me and offered her hand to me. “I know I am.” She said.
I took her hand and allowed her to pull me to my feet before she picked me up and carried me to the changing table to carry out her mission to give me exactly what I needed to improve my mood and get me back on track to happiness.
After I was dressed in two disposable diapers and my white onsie with little pink hearts all over it Emily pulled me down from the changing table and set me on the floor. I looked down at my bulging diapers straining against the thin fabric of the onsie and smiled at the feeling of security and warmth that was radiating through my body.
“Feel better?” Emily asked.
I looked up with a blush when I realized she’d been standing there watching me admire outfit and bulky diapers. I nodded, slowly at first and then with more certainty after considering how good I actually felt now. “Thank you.” I told her before I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly.
“You’re welcome honey.” She said as she hugged me back. “Just remember that you don’t have to ever be afraid to want to be little, I know it makes you feel better and right now that’s exactly what you need.” She explained.
I nodded and let go of her. “Do you think Da- umm Sam, will ever remember me?” I asked avoiding calling Sam ‘Daddy’.
Emily smiled at me. “I’m sure that your Daddy will remember you, you just need to give him some time.” She said making sure to emphasize the word ‘Daddy’ so that I knew it was still appropriate to call him that.
I thought for a second and then pouted. “What if he doesn’t?” I asked.
Emily smiled and kissed me on the forehead. “If he doesn’t then you’ll just have to make new memories with him.” She told me.
I smiled halfheartedly at her and nodded. “I’ll make sure he never forgets me again!” I cheered.
“Good.” She said. “Now that we’ve got that settled, do you still want to go to bed?” she asked.
I shook my head vigorously. “No, I feel better now.” I said right before a long yawn took hold of me.
Emily smirked at me before she turned me around and guided me to the crib. “Why don’t you take a little nap, and when you get up we can have dinner and maybe go out and finish our big sister and baby sister day.” She said as she helped me into the crib.
“But what are you gonna do?” I asked as I watched her raise the crib side.
She reached down and gave me a few gentle pats on the top of my head. “Don’t worry about me sweetie, I’ll find some way to keep myself busy.” She said.
I watched her head to the door and turn the light off before she left the room and closed the door behind her. I looked up at the mobile above the crib and realized that without Emily around to distract me all I had left were my thoughts of Sam. I put my thumb in my mouth and felt a tear escape from the corner of one of my eyes as I closed them and tried to clear my mind so I could sleep.
I LOVE this story. I hope he remembers her!! It's like Wall-E, when he wakes up and forgets Eva....not cool!!!! I sincerely cannot wait for the next installment!
XVIII: Shut Down
The doorbell woke me up some time later. In my half asleep stupor I grumbled and rolled to get out of bed and bumped into the bars of the crib. I sat up and everything before my nap came flooding back and I was suddenly very curious who was at my front door. I stood up and held onto the crib bars as I stared intently at the nursery door in anticipation of Emily’s entrance. When she didn’t come I started to get worried. Images of burglars coming in and doing horrible things to Emily before they searched the house and found me raced through my head.
“Emily!” I called out in the darkness of my room.
I realized it was night time after I’d shouted and wondered just how long Emily had let me sleep. It wasn’t much later than four or so when I’d answered the door to let Emily in so I figured it had to be somewhere around nine now. I started to have flashbacks of Sam collapsing while I was in my crib and hurriedly started to lower the side of the crib so I could go check on Emily. As I was fumbling for the latch the nursery door opened and Emily entered and turned on the light.
“Are you trying to get out of your crib?” she asked as she saw me working the latch. “You naughty little monkey.” She said as she made a playful finger wagging gesture as if she were actually upset with me.
“I was worried about you.” I told her. “You didn’t answer when I called out for you.” I added.
She dropped the side of the crib and helped me out. “I’m sorry you got worried honey, I was in the middle of something when you yelled for me.” She explained.
“What were you doing?” I asked as we walked out to the living room.
As we came to the kitchen I saw the large pizza box on the counter and was immediately excited and clapped happily as I looked up at Emily with a wide smile.
“I was flirting with the yummy pizza guy.” She said with a coy smirk.
I giggled and covered my mouth to keep from laughing harder. “You’re a naughty girl.” I teased.
Emily laughed. “I know. I’m such a bad influence.” She said as she smiled at me.
Emily grabbed some plates and opened the pizza box to reveal an extra large Hawaiian style pizza. She plated a slice for each of us and then set the plates on the counter before getting a sippy cup from the cabinet and filling it with apple juice and handing it to me.
“Do you think you can handle sitting at the table like a big girl?” she asked.
I nodded and raced over to the table and took a seat at one of the chairs with a small swell of pride that I got to sit there just like Emily. I realized how ridiculous it was to feel like a big girl for doing something that I’d done a hundred times before and that I’d unconsciously viewed Emily as the adult in our dynamic, and blushed hotly as I waited for Emily to bring out our pizza.
Emily came up behind me as I was thinking about my mental slip up and tied a bib on me. “You may get to sit at the table like a big girl, but I’m not sure you can actually eat like one.” She told me when I looked up at her in surprise.
She left me for a moment and returned with our plates before taking a seat next to me. We ate in silence and enjoyed our meal and both of us ended up eating three of the large slices before we ultimately gave up and sat back to nurse our full tummies.
“What time is it?” I asked as I gently rubbed my swollen belly.
Emily looked at her watch. “Ten thirty.” She said before getting up with a groan and picking up our plates and taking them into the kitchen.
I got up from my chair and shuffled to the kitchen with my empty sippy cup in hand. I set the cup on the counter and smiled at Emily. “Thank you for getting pizza.” I told her.
She returned my smile and wet a washcloth in the sink before she removed my sauce smattered bib and gently wiped my face clean. I held still for her and when she was finished I hugged her while she rinsed the washcloth out in the sink. “My goodness you’re affectionate tonight.” She commented as she hugged me back with a free arm and draped the washcloth on the edge of the sink to dry.
“I’m just glad you’re here.” I told her. “If you hadn’t come I don’t know what would’ve happened to me.” I confessed.
Emily kissed the top of my head. “You can take care of yourself.” She pointed out.
I nodded my agreement. “I know, but I would have been so depressed that I probably wouldn’t have. I kind of shut down when I’m upset.” I explained.
“Well no matter what happens with Sam I promise that I’ll always be around when you need me.” She said.
I smiled and hugged her again. “Thank you Emily.” I said happily.
“You’re welcome honey.” She said as she hugged me back.
I practically leapt from her arms as I looked at her excitedly. “What are we gonna do for the end of our big sister and baby sister day out?” I asked eagerly as I’d just remembered Emily had said we’d be doing something after my nap.
“Oh, I’m sorry honey but I’m too tired to go out.” She explained as she refilled my sippy cup and handed it back to me. “I figured we could just sit here and relax.” She added.
My excitement faded instantly and my face fell. “Oh.” I said dejectedly.
“Gotchya!” She shouted as she lunged forward and started tickling my sides and armpits.
I managed to wriggle away from her and made a run for the couch where I positioned myself so that I was standing behind one arm and Emily was behind the other with the length of the couch separating us. “You shouldn’t tease me like that.” I said with a fake pout and a sniffle for added effect.
“Aww, come here baby and let big sister console you.” She said in a mocking tone with her arms outstretched for a hug.
I shook my head wildly. “No way, you just wanna tickle me more!” I accused.
“Well you have to come to me sooner or later if you wanna get dressed to go out.” She said. “Or you could just go out like that.” She added.
I looked down at the double diaper bulging against the material of my onsie and started to say something when Emily suddenly snatched me up and tossed me onto the sofa before she piled on top of me and began her tickle assault with renewed vigor. I cursed myself for taking my eyes off her long enough for her to get to me but my thoughts soon became unfocused as I wiggled back and forth on my back helplessly laughing as I was tickled.
I tried to plead for her to stop, but my words were twisted into more laughter every time I managed to get them out.
“What do I get if I stop tickling you?” Emily asked between her own giggles of pleasure.
I gasped and continued laughing but managed to choke out my answer, “Anything!”
Emily stopped her tickle barrage immediately and sat up before brushing her hair from her face and smiling. “Anything?” she asked.
I nodded and coughed out the last of my laughter before I rested my head onto the couch and breathed a sigh of relief. “As long as you don’t ever do that again I’ll do anything.” I told her.
She still hadn’t gotten off of me and didn’t seem to have a desire to. She crossed her arms in front of her and then began to stroke her chin as if she were contemplating something intently. “I want to live here with you.” She said finally.
I stared at her as if she’d grown a second head. “No.” I finally said.
She got off of me and looked hurt. “You said ‘anything’.” She said.
“I thought you were gonna ask me to do something embarrassing or something.” I told her as I sat up. “I didn’t think you’d ask to live here.” I added.
She took a seat next to me on the couch. “It’s a perfect idea.” She said. “It’ll be just like sisters living together.” She said with an excited smile.
“What happened to living with Sam?” I asked.
She scoffed. “I love Sam, but he’s a guy and I don’t wanna live with a guy especially not a guy that’s my brother.” She explained. “Your house is bigger than his place anyway, so that right there makes it make sense.” She added.
I shook my head. “The answer is still no, I’m sorry.” I told her.
“Please Skye, I know it sounds like a bad idea, but I promise you it’ll be awesome.” She pleaded as she gripped my arm with both her hands.
I shook my head as my answer.
“Fine, but think about how awkward it’s going to be for me to hear Sam having sex with-“ she said before stopping abruptly when she realized what she was saying.
I nodded my head slowly in realization. “You never thought he’d remember me, did you?” I asked. “That’s what this has all been about, making me happy without him so that I wouldn’t break down when he never came around. Is that about right?” I asked.
Emily said nothing for a moment and just looked down at the couch. “Skye, I-“ she started to say before I cut her off.
“Don’t.” I said as I got up from the couch and started walking back to the nursery. “You can sleep here tonight in my bedroom, but I want you gone in the morning before I get up.” I said as I reached the hallway. When I got to the hallway I turned around as tears started rolling down my cheeks, “Thanks for keeping hope alive, Sis.” I said sarcastically before rounding the corner and entering the nursery before slamming the door behind me.
I climbed into the crib and lifted the side up before I rolled onto my side with my back to the door and cried. I felt so betrayed and so hurt that Emily was only hanging around to keep me from going off the deep end or whatever she thought I’d do when Sam didn’t remember me. The thought of Sam not remembering me only made me cry harder and eventually I was just a blubbering mess.
Emily passed by the nursery door some time later. I thought she’d try and talk to me again, but she didn’t. When I heard the bedroom door shut I knew that she’d gone to bed and, if she listened to me, would be gone before I woke up. I cried myself to sleep for the second time that day as I felt very small and very alone in the world.
Sometime in the still dark part of the morning I awoke to a strong and sudden need to go number two. I sat up in the crib and got on all fours before I gave a little push and completely filled my diapers. I groaned as I finished relieving myself, cursing the three slices of pizza I’d eaten for dinner. I wrinkled my nose at the smell and moved to drop the side of the crib. Every move I made sloshed the contents of my diaper and made me feel even more disgusted with my situation. With the side of the crib down I moved to get out as delicately as possible when I lost my footing and fell to the floor on my but creating a loud ‘splort’ sound as I landed.
That was my breaking point. All the **** I’d put up with in the past few days, the emotional rollercoaster I’d been forced to ride, all of it came to a head when I hit the floor. In that moment Adult Skye gave a giant middle finger to the world and boarded a plane to somewhere very far away, and Baby Skye was left on the floor of her nursery wearing an exploded messy diaper and crying her heart out for someone to come rescue her.
Emily came bursting into the room and flipped on the light a minute or so after I’d started crying. She rushed to me and knelt in front of me and frantically asked me what was wrong. I continued bawling my eyes out and made no attempt to speak to her. Some part of me knew I could tell her what had happened, but that part was gone now and the only thing I could think to do was cry.
She figured out quickly what had happened and left the room for a moment, reassuring me that she’d be right back. I wailed louder when she disappeared and stomped my heels onto the floor in a full blown tantrum.
Emily returned with a trash bag and quickly unfolded it and spread it out next to me on the floor before she moved me onto it and began the awful task of removing my soiled diapers. She found my pacifier and stuck it in my mouth to silence my horrendous noise and then went to work stripping me of the soiled garments all the while asking me questions I couldn’t answer.
She led me by the hand to the bathroom once I’d been stripped and guided me into the bathtub. I sat down almost immediately which made her angry for some reason. She shouted at me a few times to stand up but I just stared at her vacantly and she sighed and turned on the shower before she stripped herself and climbed into the tub with me.
I looked up at Emily’s naked body and then looked down at mine. I felt at ease when I saw the difference in our bodies. Emily had a woman’s body, breasts and pubic hair, whereas I had a child’s body, thin and without the endowments she carried. I started peeing as I sat there, happy in the knowledge that I was a baby and Emily was an adult.
Emily chastised me for peeing in the tub as she knelt down and pulled me up with her so we were both standing and the water was able to hit my soiled backside and she was able to clean me with her free hand and a washcloth. After a few minutes she set me back on the floor of the tub and got out to get towels for both of us.
She wrapped a towel around herself and then turned off the water and helped me out of the tub before she wrapped me in the other towel and led me by the hand back to the nursery. She led me to the crib and lay me down before removing my towel and drying me off. I wiggled happily and sucked my pacifier as she dried me.
“I wish you would talk to me Skye.” She said as she tossed the towel to the floor and helped me up and over to the changing table.
I continued sucking my pacifier as I watched her carry out the diapering process before she grabbed a clean onsie and dressed me in it. Once she’d gotten me settled she took me off the changing table and set me on the floor where I immediately fell to my butt and looked up at her happily.
“So you’re just a baby now?” she asked. “You can’t talk anymore, is that it?” she asked her tone almost bitter. “God, I wish you’d make up your mind Skye.” She shouted. “You’re either an adult and you’re mad at me or you’re a baby and you’re happy with me, you can’t be both.” She added with a frustrated sigh.
Her tone scared me and I was upset that she was mad at me, so I began to cry again as I looked up at her helplessly.
She looked down at me and sighed before she went and rolled up the soiled clothes and diapers in the garbage bag before she left the room to throw them away.
I crawled after her and met her in the living room as she turned to head back after disposing of the bag in the trash under the sink. I sat on the floor and sniffled as I looked at her sadly.
“Skye, I’m tired and I’m not really in the mood for this, now either tell me what’s going on or go back to bed.” She said sternly.
I let the pacifier drop from my mouth and then babbled my answer the best I could. “Skye baby. Emmy big.” I said. I struggled to find words that would let her know that I needed her because I couldn’t take care of myself. “Mama, Emmy, mama.” I said finally at which point I planted my thumb in my mouth as a treat for my successful speech.
Emily just stared at me for a moment and then came to me and knelt in front of me. “Skye, I’m not your mama.” She said.
I furrowed my brow and nodded as I groped at my nearly nonexistent breast and reached out and grabbed her breast through the towel with my other hand. “Mama.” I said again.
Emily recoiled at my touch and stood up quickly with a bright blush to her face. Her face softened after a moment and she knelt back down. “Do you think I’m your Mama because I have boobs and,” she paused and scanned my face for some sort of impending argument from me, “you don’t.” she finished when she saw I wasn’t going to correct her.
I nodded happily and stuck my thumb back in my mouth, pleased with myself for getting through to her.
“You aren’t playing a game are you?” she asked as drool seeped around my thumb and dripped down my chin and onto the floor.
I shook my head and giggled.
Emily smiled and gently pulled me up before taking my hand and leading me back to the nursery. She guided me back to the crib and put the side up before she left for a short time and returned with a bottle of milk. She lowered the side again and helped me out and took me into the bedroom where she lay me down and gave me the bottle. Satisfied that I could hold it by myself she removed her towel and quickly got dressed in a thong and a tanktop before she climbed into the bed with me and pulled me close to her.
“We’ll get you sorted out tomorrow.” She whispered as she held the bottle for me and stroked my hair while I nursed and soon fell asleep in her arms.
I woke up to the sun warming my face through the bedroom window. I rolled over and buried my face in the pillows before I realized that Emily wasn’t lying where she had been the night before. I pulled my head out of the pillows and sat up to look around the room for her, she wasn’t there, but the bedroom door was open and I could hear talking coming from the living room. I scooted myself to the end of the bed and lowered myself onto the floor before I crawled out of the bedroom toward the voices I heard.
“Sounds like someone’s up.” Emily said with a smile in her voice.
The rustling of my diaper had given away my entrance before I even reached the end of the hallway. When I did come to the end of the hall I looked to the living room and saw Emily and Madeline sitting on the couch turned so that they could see me as I crawled into view. I stopped my progress and took a seat on the floor with my legs splayed out in front of me halfway between the end of the hall and the couch and smiled as I stuck my thumb in my mouth.
“Good morning Skye.” Madeline greeted.
I didn’t say anything but waved with my free hand while I continued to slurp my thumb. I didn’t know why Madeline was there or what she and Emily were talking about. What I did know was that I was thirsty and in need of a diaper change, but as a warm trickle escaped into my diaper I quickly forgot about the change and just relished the pleasant warmth.
Emily set down her coffee cup on the table and got up from the couch before she crossed the distance between us and helped me to my feet and then led me by the hand to the couch where she sat down and guided me to take a seat on her lap so I was facing Madeline. “Skye, Madeline is here to talk to you.” She said sweetly.
“Do you understand why I’m here Skye?” Madeline asked.
I nodded and continued to suck my thumb.
Madeline reached out and pulled my thumb from my mouth. “Skye, I want you to tell me why I’m here.” She said in a tone that was a bit nicer than an order, but not by much.
“You nana tawk.” I said as I fought the urge to put my thumb back in my mouth for fear of upsetting Madeline.
Madeline nodded. “I do. I want to tell you a story first though, is that alright?” she asked.
I nodded and smiled. “I wike stowies.” I said happily.
Madeline returned my smile and set her coffee cup down before folding her hands in her lap. “This is a story about a boy and a girl that came to see me some time ago.” She started. “The boy came to see me because he was having trouble sleeping, and hoped that I’d be able to help him discover the reason why that was and possibly help him with it.” She explained. “The girl came to see me because she was struggling with her emotions and was conflicted with feelings that even though she was an adult she wanted desperately to be treated like a baby and loved by someone that accepted her for who she was.” She said. “Do you understand the story so far?” she asked.
I nodded slowly. “I unerstan.” I told her.
“Good.” She said with a smile. “Anyway, the boy eventually came to me and told me that he had met an amazing girl during one of his newly adopted late night trips to a store. He said that this girl was the most enchanting woman he’d ever met and that he thought that he might be in love with her.” She explained. “At the very same time that this was all going on with him, the girl came to see me and told me a similar tale about a boy that she’d met at a store. Now, the girl had been going to the store as a part of a therapy exercise, one that had her going somewhere that she felt comfortable dressed in a little girl outfit of her choosing so that she could show herself to any potential suitor’s as what she felt she really was.” She said. “I did my best to advise the pair of them to explore the relationship with the other party, but unfortunately the boy had to go to the hospital and have surgery before I could give them anymore guidance.” She explained. “Now, does that story sound familiar?” she asked.
I nodded as my eyes started to well up with tears.
Madeline reached out and took my hands in hers. “I don’t know how the story is going to end, but I hope it doesn’t end with the girl giving up on the boy she loves and wants to have as her Daddy because he forgot about her after a very serious operation, an operation which often carries short term memory loss as a side effect.” She said. “I would most definitely hope that the girl didn’t regress completely and rely solely on a sixteen year old to care for her, because if that happened I’d be very disappointed with that girl.” She explained.
I sniffled and felt the first few tears roll down my cheeks. “I don’t know what else to do.” I confessed as adult Skye returned and took over control.
“You’re a smart girl Skye, and you’re stronger than you think.” Madeline started. “You’ve faced worse things than this in your life and lived to tell the tale, and this is no different. The only way that you’ll lose Sam is if you continue doing what you’re doing, but if you fight I know that things will work out between the two of you.” She said with a smile.
I shook my head. “How can you know that?” I asked.
Madeline sighed and patted my hand. “I’ll let you in on a little secret of my own.” She said. “As much as I deal in facts and real, tangible things, deep down I’m a hopeless romantic that believes that when two people are in love nothing can keep them from being together.” She explained with a small smile.
I turned and looked at Emily. “I’m sorry for putting you through this Emily.” I told her as I sheepishly avoided looking her in the eyes.
Emily lifted my head up gently by the chin and smiled at me when our eyes met. “You never need to apologize for being a baby around me honey.” She said. “Just make sure that in the future I get to spend time with adult Skye every now and then.” She told me before she kissed me on the forehead.
Madeline stood up and smoothed out her skirt. “It seems like everything is back on track here, so I’m going to leave you to what you need to do today.” She said as she grabbed her purse from the coffee table. “Skye, I want to see you in my office next week so you can tell me about how things are going.” She said with a smile.
I nodded and got off of Emily’s lap before rushing forward and wrapping my arms around Madeline’s waist. “Thank you.” I told her.
Madeline returned my hug. “You’re welcome dear.” She said.
Emily had gotten up from the couch and headed to the door and thanked Madeline before letting her out and closing the door behind her. She turned to me and smiled. “So, what should we do today?” she asked.
“Well, the first thing we should do is get me out of this diaper before I leak on something.” I said with a giggle. “After that, I think I need to plan how I’m going to deal with Sam.” I explained.
Emily nodded. “Do you want help with either of those things?” she asked.
I thought for a moment and shook my head. “I think you’ve done more than enough.” I told her before I waddled to her and gave her a big hug. “Thank you for being here for me Emily, you’re the best big sister I could ever ask for.” I told her.
“I’m just glad that you don’t still think I’m your ‘Mama’.” She teased as she gave me a few playful swats on my padded bottom.
I blushed hotly. “Sorry.” I said.
She shook her head. “Don’t be, if I was a few years older and you were a few years younger I’d definitely take the job.” She told me with a smile.
I blushed again and returned her smile but didn’t say anything as I watched her grab her bag and open the door. “Call me whenever you need to.” She said before blowing a kiss to me and shutting the door behind her as she left the house.
I handled removing my diaper and showering first, then I’d dressed myself in a pair of panties and jeans with a simple t-shirt to complete my relaxed ensemble and then I went to work cleaning up the house, making especially sure that I threw the soiled garments and diaper from the previous night into the garbage outside the house. After all of the chores were done I sat down on the couch and forced myself to think about my dilemma with what to do about Sam and I. It only took me an hour or so to come up with a plan, it was actually so simple I was kind of mad at myself for not coming up with it sooner. I called Emily and told her the plan and explained what I needed her to do, and once she’d agreed I sat back and relaxed with a satisfied smile on my face.
A few days after I’d called Emily with my plan she called me to tell me that Sam was out of the hospital and that if I was ready to go she’d do her part. I gave the go ahead and told her that I’d be ready in about an hour and then I went to work getting myself ready to win Sam back. I diapered myself and put on the pink overalls I’d worn the night I met Sam and put my hair into pigtails secured with the same fuzzy pink bands from the same night. I admired myself in the closet mirror and smiled. “I hope this works.” I thought to myself as I left the nursery and gathered my keys and phone and left the house.
I’d told Emily to come up with a reason to get Sam to go to Target in the middle of the night, and as I entered the store I hoped that she’d managed to convince him to do just that. My phone buzzed and I opened it to see a text from Emily, ‘I sent him for a puzzle. Good luck. ’ it read. I smiled widely and closed my phone before I made my way to the toy department and took my position on the aisle with the puzzles after grabbing a toy from the smaller kid’s area and sitting with it as I waited. I was more than slightly nervous and a little scared about whether my plan would work or not, and I freely wet my diaper to try to relax myself. It was when I really started going that Sam entered the aisle and saw me sitting there.
Sam smiled politely when he saw me and made his way to me. “Skye, right?” he asked.
I looked up at him and tried to stop peeing so I could get up and spring into action. The torrent in my diaper continued and forced me to just nod and smile as I found it hard to form words with my mind on my current activity.
“What are the odds?” he asked with a nervous chuckle.
I finally stopped peeing and quickly got up from the floor. “I know, it’s gotta be like one in a million or something.” I said with a nervous giggle of my own.
He smiled at me as he surveyed my attire. “Look, since I have the chance now, I want to apologize for what happened at the hospital.” He said. “I know that I hurt your feelings, and I’m really sorry.” He explained.
I took a deep breath. “It wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t help that you didn’t remember me.” I said with a twinge of sadness.
“I wish I did.” He said. “Ever since that day I’ve been trying to remember but I haven’t been able to.” He explained. “I hate to think that I lost someone that obviously cares about me and that I apparently cared a lot about.” He said with a blush and a nervous smile.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I reached out slowly and took his hand. “You may have forgotten me, but you’ll never lose me.” I told him. “Unless you wanted to.” I added with a somber tone.
“It’s so strange to me that I can be so drawn to a complete stranger.” He told me. “I know that you have me pegged as your “Daddy”, but I don’t know if I can be that for you.” He said.
I felt the tears welling up and I fought them back with all my might. “But you were, and you were the best Daddy I could ever want.” I told him. “You may not have always known what to do or how to handle certain things, but that would have come with time and practice. The important thing was that you made me feel loved and despite not knowing everything you showed me that you were serious about learning, and that was great.” I explained as tears started flowing despite my efforts. I closed my eyes and felt the tears spill forth unabated this time.
Sam reached out and wiped my tears away. “I’m not your Daddy.” He said.
I sobbed a bit and fought it before it turned into a full blown fit. “I understand.” I managed to choke out. “I’ll leave you alone.” I said and turned to run off before Sam grabbed my arm and turned me back to face him.
“You didn’t let me finish.” He said. “I’m not your Daddy,” he started. “But I would like to try and be.” He finished. “Unless you still want to run away.” He said with a smile as he let go of my arm.
My sobs morphed from ones of despair to ones of elation. “Honest?!” I practically screamed.
He nodded. “I may not know a lot of things in this world, but I do know that I never want to be the reason that you’re sad.” He said.
I leapt at him and wrapped my arms tightly around him. I couldn’t come up with any words; I just squeezed him and cried happily as we stood there. I knew that even though we were starting over from the beginning with our relationship, it would be rebuilt as quickly as it had formed originally and would be just as strong and more than likely stronger. I had my Daddy back, and I was never going to let him go again.